K.I.N.G Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I struggle a lot with sever dysphoria and that gives me anxiety and depression and I know i need professional help but i don't have the money for it or really the time - heck I can't even afford the cheaper online therapy coasts so does anyone know of a platform that offers professional help (specifically gender issues) that's also either free (preferably) or only a couple of quid per month sort of thing? Also how do you cope with dysphoria? i personally haven't found anything that works for me minus load music which isn't good for my hearing and only occationally works. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
awkward_one34 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 You could try to find a support group in your area. I know in the U.S. there's this thing called Ally Moms and they help out if you want someone to talk to. Here's the link to the list. That's all I have. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 Thanks for the reply though I’m in Europe Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I just put on baggy clothes and turn of the lights and distract myself with movie, videos, and music. If it's worse then I might also bind and put on some nice clothes. Maybe vent to people online about it. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted February 26, 2018 Author Share Posted February 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Starbogen said: I just put on baggy clothes and turn of the lights and distract myself with movie, videos, and music. If it's worse then I might also bind and put on some nice clothes. Maybe vent to people online about it. Lol thats basically what i did today though i actually have to get out of bed tomorrow Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 And what is your dysphoria about? Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Not everyone experiences dysphoria the same way. The way that I have coped, even subconsciously before I even knew I was trans, was dressing a certain way that hid the body features of my biological sex. So socially, (hopefully) nobody can really tell. I’d also avoid looking at myself, which is why I hated taking pictures so much and rarely ever did. It helps me avoid it and not think about it so much. Distracting myself also helps. Like watching YouTube, Netflix, playing video games, etc. For some free help, I also suggest looking into any local support groups. I found that out from my local pride groups and their connections. Also not sure if you’re a student, and also not sure about anything outside the U.S., but my college has free counseling, there might be a similar program where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 There's also a site where you can talk about stuff with a counsellor online for free: https://www.7cups.com/ Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 You're gender is marked as "Trans Non-binary Male" so I'm guessing you're probably AFAB so I can't offer you very specific advice if that is the case. My most severe dysphoria actually happens in my times as a woman. In those times I wear clothing all the time. On my days off I would wear no underwear and just wear pajama bottoms. I found a lot of relief drawing how I saw myself in my head. I wrote in my diary. I bought a sports bra and wore it to sleep.I listened to this song on repeat. I worked myself until I could not remain awake because lying in bed thinking was....dangerous. Link to post Share on other sites
InfiniteNull Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Support communities can be helpful... I am a member of a couple of LGBT/Gender based forums and sometimes post in here. Also if you have any local support communities, definitely try to connect. You don't always have to be living full time out in order to connect most times (although some casual meetup groups do expect it so read the fine print just in case). I think the idea of listening to music that helps you associate with your gender is a great idea, it's something I do all the time. I also find that watching lots of youtube videos of trans folks that have a similar experience helps. The same goes with reading blogs or articles on the topic. Another thing that I am trying to encourage myself to do that I find helps my dysphoria when I do it... is not just to think of myself as someone resolving my own issues, but as someone who could be a role model for others later. Activism and leadership can make it more worth it to push through the pain of being different if you know that it'll help others hurt less form the same differences. Sometimes it can be tough for us to do the right thing for ourselves, but doing the right thing for the benefit of others can be good motivation. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 Hay thanks for the replies and suggestions. On 26/02/2018 at 5:51 PM, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: There's also a site where you can talk about stuff with a counsellor online for free: https://www.7cups.com/ Thanks a lot for this! I will definitely look into it when I get the chance! On 26/02/2018 at 10:31 AM, Emery. said: And what is your dysphoria about? Lol everything :L On 01/03/2018 at 8:49 AM, TaylorWaffle said: On my days off I would wear no underwear and just wear pajama bottoms. I found a lot of relief drawing how I saw myself in my head. I relate to this a lot and its a good idea I probably should get back into drawing - neat song I get why you listen to it so much! On 03/03/2018 at 6:28 AM, InfiniteNull said: Another thing that I am trying to encourage myself to do that I find helps my dysphoria when I do it... is not just to think of myself as someone resolving my own issues, but as someone who could be a role model for others later. Activism and leadership can make it more worth it to push through the pain of being different if you know that it'll help others hurt less form the same differences. Sometimes it can be tough for us to do the right thing for ourselves, but doing the right thing for the benefit of others can be good motivation. Hm I hadn’t really thought about it till now but agreed the few times ive managed to help people in someway it has lifted my spirits a bit - though I don’t know if it was more because I was distracted by their problems so to say. yeh I’ve pretty much watched YouTube dry of LGBT+ at this point lol On 26/02/2018 at 12:24 PM, SkyWorld said: I’d also avoid looking at myself, which is why I hated taking pictures so much and rarely ever did. It helps me avoid it and not think about it so much. Agreed mirrors, photos and shadows are a bloody annoyance - you could say I’m literally afraid of my own shadow in that sense. I think somethings I’m just going to have to terms with and others im just going to have to learn to ignore as my life situation is shit atm - nor am I able to come out at home where I’m going to be stuck in the basement of for the time being lol. Anyway again thanks for the replies and support! It’s been a help Link to post Share on other sites
InfiniteNull Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 46 minutes ago, SebastianMichaelis said: Hm I hadn’t really thought about it till now but agreed the few times ive managed to help people in someway it has lifted my spirits a bit - though I don’t know if it was more because I was distracted by their problems so to say. Even if that is all that's happening, it's still a way to get the pain to stop and well worth it ♥ If we're all champions for one another then our community gains strength Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 1 hour ago, SebastianMichaelis said: Lol everything :L I swapped back to female again the other day. Soooooo Same. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 10 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said: I swapped back to female again the other day. Soooooo Same. Utter Shit isn’t it - mental dysphoria I’m my experience is probably the most infuriating especially as there is nothing you can do about it except change your mentality/accept it. Hope you manage to find some peace soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 1 minute ago, SebastianMichaelis said: Utter Shit isn’t it - mental dysphoria I’m my experience is probably the most infuriating especially as there is nothing you can do about it except change your mentality/accept it. Hope you manage to find some peace soon. I keep friggin touching myself because I have something I shouldn't that keeps reminded me I actually have it but other than that not looking in the mirror or touching my face (I can feel the stubble form) or down in the shower or going to the bathroom came back real quick. My boobs (read sports bra) also have been giving me gender euphoria. I'm *better* off than last time but my voice is still too deep and it takes several seconds to work up the courage to get undressed for the shower. Taking my boobs off is really hard . Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 @TaylorWaffle I completely get what you mean about the shower - it a catch 22 im my case as I can’t not have a shower but then having to actually get into it is also difficult and distressing. Best I can suggest is a bath with lots of bubbles or do what I do and close you’re eyes and completely disassociate- not that that’s actually very healthy but it makes washing a little easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 2 minutes ago, SebastianMichaelis said: @TaylorWaffle I completely get what you mean about the shower - it a catch 22 im my case as I can’t not have a shower but then having to actually get into it is also difficult and distressing. Best I can suggest is a bath with lots of bubbles or do what I do and close you’re eyes and completely disassociate- not that that’s actually very healthy but it makes washing a little easier. One of good things about female vs agender dysphoria is that sweat and body odor don't bother me as much. I can get by without a shower for a day or so but if I see my torso and body hair I failed to shave, I'm gonna have a bad time. Also if I inadvertently change to agender while asleep, I'm also going to have a bad time. Daily showers are a must for me. I call all the hygiene-y stuff, "reclaiming my identity from my biology". Baths have never been my thing. Thanks tho. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 9 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said: I call all the hygiene-y stuff, "reclaiming my identity from my biology". Lol neat and agreed about the baths. idk but for me I can experience body dysphoria in different ways but it still be just as painful - for instance today the only way I can describe it is that I feel “wrong” and “bad” - like the way you feel a deep pit in your stomach but i feel it all over if that makes any sense. Other days it’s more I need to tear my skin off and maybe I’ll have the correct body underneath. Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 2 minutes ago, SebastianMichaelis said: Lol neat and agreed about the baths. idk but for me I can experience body dysphoria in different ways but it still be just as painful - for instance today the only way I can describe it is that I feel “wrong” and “bad” - like the way you feel a deep pit in your stomach but i feel it all over if that makes any sense. Other days it’s more I need to tear my skin off and maybe I’ll have the correct body underneath. My voice never changes in depth but it often-to me-feels deeper than the Marianas Trench. Other than that it's usually the same sh*t just of varying intensity. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 5 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said: My voice never changes in depth but it often-to me-feels deeper than the Marianas Trench. Other than that it's usually the same sh*t just of varying intensity. Isn’t that how it always is :/ I don’t know if this would be any use to you but I did actually see an apple voice training app called Christella VoiceUp - didn’t really look into it but i think it’s free. Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 1 minute ago, SebastianMichaelis said: Isn’t that how it always is :/ I don’t know if this would be any use to you but I did actually see an apple voice training app called Christella VoiceUp - didn’t really look into it but i think it’s free. I have several links and videos and things to practice, however, I'm not great at doing things for a gender I'm currently not. I literally had two months to work on my voice. What did I do with my time? I honestly have no idea *other than* that it wasn't my voice. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 24 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said: I have several links and videos and things to practice, however, I'm not great at doing things for a gender I'm currently not. I literally had two months to work on my voice. What did I do with my time? I honestly have no idea *other than* that it wasn't my voice. Ahhh alright understandable Link to post Share on other sites
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