donttalktomexc Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Idk why I'm posting this here. I feel as if anywhere else people would take it way too sexually and I wouldn't be able to relate anymore. I'm not even really sure if this classifies as a kink but I always enjoyed fantasies where the girl is in some sort of emotional distress and then the guy comforts her. I remember doing online rps before where I'd play an insecure girl and being kinda turned on when the person playing the guy would comfort my character. Is that weird? Can this even be classified as a fetish? It really only gets me going when I'm writing or reading it. Seeing people upset in real life certainly doesn't turn me on, neither does being upset and comforted. Maybe I read too much fanfiction, Dunno. Can anyone relate? Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I've heard weirder! Wouldn't worry about it! Strikes me as a different take on a dominance type thing, guy in a position to offer emotional support... perhaps I'm looking to much into it. Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I don't know if it's because I can disassociate from my body or what, but I do like erotic role-play when I play as another character, and stuff that's way more graphic than what you are describing.(I wonder if this is common among aces? I know someone who is more hard-line ace than me who I roleplayed with) I had a bit of a thing for 'rescuing' too. Of course I would never like a real person to have to go through something horrible just so they can be rescued,but it's attractive in fiction. That's not even particularly weird. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentRose Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I actually relate to this a lot...I thought it was just me! Mine is kinda the opposite of yours...I'm aesthetically attracted to men, and my biggest romantic fantasies recently involve the guy I have a "crush" on being sad and comforting him. Weird I know. I think for me it stems from finding vulnerability very attractive, the most attractive thing a guy can do in my opinion is be emotional and open up to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Caterjunes Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Mhmm, though more physical comfort than emotional, and pretty exclusively in the not-real-life realm. I remember reading something about the psychology of fetishes once, how it's not completely uncommon for people to be both attracted to/aroused by a thing in some situations (in theory, for example) and repulsed or even phobic of it in others (reality). I could read "hurt/comfort" stories for hours and even feel almost aroused by it sometimes. I often write these types of stories with platonic, but deeply...hurt-comforty relationships (similar to what @spazzticsoda -- sorry, me again, hi) described with all sorts of unnecessarily dramatic whump. But omg if someone so much as gets a splinter around me in real life, I'm a wreck. Anyway, short answer - yes, I can! Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 6 hours ago, spazzticsoda said: I don't know if it's because I can disassociate from my body or what, but I do like erotic role-play when I play as another character, and stuff that's way more graphic than what you are describing.(I wonder if this is common among aces? I know someone who is more hard-line ace than me who I roleplayed with) I had a bit of a thing for 'rescuing' too. Of course I would never like a real person to have to go through something horrible just so they can be rescued,but it's attractive in fiction. That's not even particularly weird. Honestly, injuries and being nursed gets me going as well. In real life, someone being sick or getting hurt doesn't do anything for me unless I deliberately try to romanticise it. It's the damsel in distress aspect, for sure. I can definitely relate though. Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 2 hours ago, Caterjunes said: Mhmm, though more physical comfort than emotional, and pretty exclusively in the not-real-life realm. I remember reading something about the psychology of fetishes once, how it's not completely uncommon for people to be both attracted to/aroused by a thing in some situations (in theory, for example) and repulsed or even phobic of it in others (reality). I could read "hurt/comfort" stories for hours and even feel almost aroused by it sometimes. I often write these types of stories with platonic, but deeply...hurt-comforty relationships (similar to what @spazzticsoda -- sorry, me again, hi) described with all sorts of unnecessarily dramatic whump. But omg if someone so much as gets a splinter around me in real life, I'm a wreck. Anyway, short answer - yes, I can! That's why I'm not even sure if this classifies as a fetish. I heard that female sexuality is a lot more complex and how even the things surrounding the idea of sex can be arousing. It's weird for me though because it seems as if everything but the sex sounds entertaining for me. Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 3 hours ago, SilentRose said: I actually relate to this a lot...I thought it was just me! Mine is kinda the opposite of yours...I'm aesthetically attracted to men, and my biggest romantic fantasies recently involve the guy I have a "crush" on being sad and comforting him. Weird I know. I think for me it stems from finding vulnerability very attractive, the most attractive thing a guy can do in my opinion is be emotional and open up to me. That makes sense. I heard that there was a name for this but I forgot what it was. It seems pretty common in aces, actually. Maybe it's a tamer take on submissive/dominant scenarios? Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 13 hours ago, MrJ said: I've heard weirder! Wouldn't worry about it! Strikes me as a different take on a dominance type thing, guy in a position to offer emotional support... perhaps I'm looking to much into it. That's what I'm suspecting as well, honestly. I've tried researching it but I never got many answers. Maybe it's fairly common? Dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Nylocke Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I think in most cases its easier to become turned on when you're more comfortable but I guess it varies from person to person. I am generally tensed up in most cases so its seldom that I'm ever truly comfortable with most humans. Only 2 people I know online and have never met in real life, and my boyfriend are the only 3 people I'm truly comfortable with. Not even my own family I am truly comfortable with but I guess that's another story for another day. Link to post Share on other sites
Caterjunes Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 7 hours ago, donttalktomexc said: That's what I'm suspecting as well, honestly. I've tried researching it but I never got many answers. Maybe it's fairly common? Dunno. I sometimes lurk on a fetish site (the fetish site, I guess) and I've noticed a lot of overlap between the dom/sub thing and ace people. I dunno if it's more prevalent than anything else, but definitely doesn't seem to be rare, or at least not unheard of. Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 1 hour ago, Caterjunes said: I sometimes lurk on a fetish site (the fetish site, I guess) and I've noticed a lot of overlap between the dom/sub thing and ace people. I dunno if it's more prevalent than anything else, but definitely doesn't seem to be rare, or at least not unheard of. I've had aromantic friends express to me how they want the sort of submissive romantic attention without having to reciprocate it. I think there might be a trend. Link to post Share on other sites
tunasupreme Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I know what you mean. About 95% of my fantasizing is made up of scenarios where I am being comforted. I thought it was just me. Link to post Share on other sites
donttalktomexc Posted March 6, 2018 Author Share Posted March 6, 2018 On 3/1/2018 at 4:17 AM, tunasupreme said: I know what you mean. About 95% of my fantasizing is made up of scenarios where I am being comforted. I thought it was just me. Haha, it's nice to know you're not alone. :> Link to post Share on other sites
kusan38 Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 Growing up, a lot of my fantasies involved someone being vulnerable in front of someone else. For instance, person 1 was sick or injured and person 2 was helping them, or person 1 was a "villain" realizing his goals were incorrect and person 2 was a "hero" witnessing this turnaround. Now that I'm an adult, I have lost much of my ability to fantasize in these ways because the ugliness of reality has intruded. But occasionally I get a flash of such a fantasy now. However, it simply doesn't perpetuate itself the way it once did because my dully rational mind now tends to overpower it. I miss it. Enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
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