What am I?

[NamineRae]

 For a while now I have been wondering what I am. Am I asexual and aromantic? Am I not? I don't know and I am tired of not knowing.

I, to my best understanding, have never had a crush, and I get annoyed at most kiss scenes in shows and movies because I feel that there are more important things the characters could be doing. I don't understand the  "that person is so hot/cute" thing, and I can't see myself in a romantic relationship with anyone or getting married and having kids. I also have very little to no interest in the romance genre.

I know these feelings mostly fit the definitions of asexual and aromantic, but to be honest I feel like I need someone who is aromantic or asexual themselves to tell me if I am right or wrong. Can anyone help me figure this out?

[Lichley]

There is no clear cut right and wrong, it’s something you have to work out for yourself. We can’t tell you, because you’re the person who knows yourself best. It’s your descision whether or not you want to take up either label. 

That being said I can offer some advice. The lack of romantic attraction is aromanticism. If you’ve never wanted a romantic relationship with a specific person before you could be a romantic. The same with asexuality and sex. 

[AW10]

3 hours ago, NamineRae said:

 For a while now I have been wondering what I am. Am I asexual and aromantic? Am I not? I don't know and I am tired of not knowing.

I, to my best understanding, have never had a crush, and I get annoyed at most kiss scenes in shows and movies because I feel that there are more important things the characters could be doing. I don't understand the  "that person is so hot/cute" thing, and I can't see myself in a romantic relationship with anyone or getting married and having kids. I also have very little to no interest in the romance genre.

I know these feelings mostly fit the definitions of asexual and aromantic, but to be honest I feel like I need someone who is aromantic or asexual themselves to tell me if I am right or wrong. Can anyone help me figure this out?

You are approaching it backward, you cannot define yourself by description, you simply have to find a way you want to actualize your sexuality\romanticism. Well, in order to find asexuality\aromanticism, you have to look for sexuality\romanticism in you, but look for without predefinitions based on how you feel like being. In other words, openly look for a way to actualize your sexuality\romanticism, and if you could not find a way, it means that you are asexual\aromantic. My example before I target to change, I am sexual and aromantic, where my way of actualizing sexuality is sexual activities leading to sexual intercourse, and I cannot find romanticism in me, but I have defined my aromanticism as sexual encounters with other human without commitment to sexual encounters with only that human.

 

Note: Backslash (X\Y) means that you can have X unrelated to Y, in this case (a)sexuality and (a)romanticism independent of one another.

[NamineRae]

Thanks guys.

You both are right, I’ve done a lot of thinking on this. I think my real problem is that I don’t not have much confidence in myself when it comes to this part of my identity. I have been rejected by three adults I trust in the past when I told them about this. I know they didn’t mean to hurt me, and that they do really care about me, but that won’t change the fact that it did. I know I need to move past that pain and love myself and be confident in my own orientation.