SometimesPoetic Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Hi, I'm new here, I've visited this page a couple times in the past to look for validation and stories similar to mine, and honestly it's been an amazing resource as I'v grown as a person over the past few years. The first time I heard about asexuality was when one of my best friends came out to me. Before that year it was the more mainstream sexualities that I knew about. I heard about the term Greysexuality at the only lgbtq+ meeting I've been to. before that I was identifying as pansexual because I had never truly felt a connection with anyone. Learning about greysexuality was incredible for me, but the last few months I've been questioning more and more if I actually am greysexual as I've been craving closeness in extremity recently. I've been stuck on wondering if I want a relationship or just comfort and it's been really stressful. That's actually why I decided to join this website, to hopefully get some other opinions as it's driving me crazy with cravings of hugs. I'm also split because I've never had any experiences kissing people before, so how do I actually know it's not what I want? I don't know, sorry about this lon rambling introduction but it's been eating me up for a while, any advice either on this website or just tips on my situation would be greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
ecogirl92 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Welcome ! I'm relatively new to AVEN myself. Being asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction (that's the broad idea anyway) But being asexual doesn't mean your aromantic. Relationships, hugs, and even kisses doesn't always entail a sexual component. It can be demonstrations of affection and symbols of companionship. You can crave these physical displays of intimacy without feeling sexually stimulated or experiencing sexual interest. For gray or demi-sexuals, the sexual attraction only comes when you cultivate these strong romantic ties (at least that's how I understand it). I understand where you are coming from. I first discovered asexuality a few years ago but pretty much circled around it for a while. I've never had any experience with relationships/dating or any physical intimacy and I've honestly never really been interested. But I still didn't fully embrace the idea that I might be asexual because how can you decide if you haven't experienced it. When I brought up the idea of me being asexual, my brother told me it was because I haven't decided if I like guys are girls yet and I should give each a try and see what happens. Not the best advice but he meant well. I had pretty much come to terms that I might be a aromantic asexual because I had never had those sexual desires and had never really craved any kind of relationship other than my close friends, but lately I have been drawn to the idea of sharing my life with someone. There still isn't any sexual desire but I like the idea of waking up with someone, traveling, spending a lazy day cuddling on the couch. I don't know if any of this helps but those are my thoughts. Ultimately, only you can decide what it is that you feel. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 ^ This. Also cake Link to post Share on other sites
SometimesPoetic Posted February 24, 2018 Author Share Posted February 24, 2018 11 hours ago, ecogirl92 said: Welcome ! I'm relatively new to AVEN myself. Being asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction (that's the broad idea anyway) But being asexual doesn't mean your aromantic. Relationships, hugs, and even kisses doesn't always entail a sexual component. It can be demonstrations of affection and symbols of companionship. You can crave these physical displays of intimacy without feeling sexually stimulated or experiencing sexual interest. For gray or demi-sexuals, the sexual attraction only comes when you cultivate these strong romantic ties (at least that's how I understand it). I understand where you are coming from. I first discovered asexuality a few years ago but pretty much circled around it for a while. I've never had any experience with relationships/dating or any physical intimacy and I've honestly never really been interested. But I still didn't fully embrace the idea that I might be asexual because how can you decide if you haven't experienced it. When I brought up the idea of me being asexual, my brother told me it was because I haven't decided if I like guys are girls yet and I should give each a try and see what happens. Not the best advice but he meant well. I had pretty much come to terms that I might be a aromantic asexual because I had never had those sexual desires and had never really craved any kind of relationship other than my close friends, but lately I have been drawn to the idea of sharing my life with someone. There still isn't any sexual desire but I like the idea of waking up with someone, traveling, spending a lazy day cuddling on the couch. I don't know if any of this helps but those are my thoughts. Ultimately, only you can decide what it is that you feel. I wish you luck Thank you! I think I'm mostly just conflicted because I am a person who craves physical comfort, which is most often advertised as being inherently romantic in nature, I definitely relate to wanting to wake up next to someone and share my life with them. It's nice to know that there are other people changing and developing under the umbrella term of asexuality, it makes it seem more genuinely fluid. Link to post Share on other sites
SometimesPoetic Posted February 24, 2018 Author Share Posted February 24, 2018 10 hours ago, Lichley said: ^ This. Also cake what kind of cake is that bc dang does it look yummy Link to post Share on other sites
ladywacko Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I’m completely new and still feeling things out myself, but I totally identify with wrestling with wanting physical closeness but not knowing what to do with that want. I crave physical closeness with my bestie and my husband, but as a thought experiment, I try and follow that craving for a hug to see if it morphs into something sexual and it’s just.....no. Nope, ugh, no thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 4 hours ago, SometimesPoetic said: what kind of cake is that bc dang does it look yummy Pancake cake with cream, chocolate flakes and hazelnuts I believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Vicky Angel Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Welcome Link to post Share on other sites
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