'Came out'

[(Enigma)]

So I try to 'come out' to my mum a few weeks ago. This was her response...

 

Do you think you are unloveable then?

Have you been hurt then?

Have you actually had sex to try it out?

....Okay then maybe it just wasn't the right one or you were just doing it to it. I've done that a few times before. Thought wtf am I doing in the middle of it, I dont like this person. I dont want this and can't wait for it to be over. 

I wasn't attracted to anyone before I met your dad. 

(She was saying I will find someone and want to be around them all the time and that is. Yes I have that with my cat and my best friend but I don't want to shag either of them!)

Why you upset about it? (I was crying at the time. I just wanted to be 'normal')

Don't go giving yourself another label and claiming to be asexual (i never said the word)

You just lost time when you were ill. 

Why is this upsetting you?

I wish you would have come out 10 years ago when I wanted to drink rather than starting now. (I would have been 15)

You just need to get out more

Seen as you say you aren't into women, then it needs to be a job that isn't somewhere with mostly females. (the way my previous job was)

You need a job and meet people. Places where there are more chances of you finding someone. You need to work in a club. Just 10pm-4am shifts a few times a week. You will enjoy it. (I am very shy and go to bed at 8pm. I have only just started to join the drinking world and even then I prefer the company of one or two people and staying in.)

You just aren't someone who has always needed to have a bf like a lot of my mates so that is why I feel like this. 

Why you upset?

 

 

Just wanted to get my thoughts out as this is one of many things going round in my head. I don't expect her to understand. 

 

[Guest]

 *big warm hugs*

 

Maybe it will take her time to get her head around it. All you can do is give her the opportunity to try and understand and tell her how you feel. Hopefully she’ll get there in time.

 

We’re all normal in our own way. You’re special and being ‘different’ makes you more interesting.  

[(Enigma)]

Thank you. I could do with a big hug and snuggle.

 

I don't think she will. She has never understood me well. My heaven is her hell and vis versa. I don't understand how she is married. As in has those feelings and day to day living that that comes will. So I can't expect her to understand how I feel. 

 

True. It does make me more interesting. But I have enough specialness and differences without adding other things. 

 

 

I just feel alone. I have one true friend. She lives ages away. I just feel we might be becoming distant. I know it will be a gradual over time thing that I will end up seeing her less and less in person and not talking every day. I just dont want that to happen. It makes me feel I 'need' to go and get a boyfriend and shag someone so I have the person who is mine and close. Not 'mine' as in I own them lol. I mean like I mean more to them then just a friend and they care. I don't want the sex that comes with it. I need the conpanionship. Having my best mate has introduced me to not be alone anymore. I was fine about aloneness before that. 

[plasticapollos]

I just felt like I relived my own mother's comments. And then my own. I understand. 

*Hugs* You have family here, and we like you just how you are. <3 It takes a lot of bravery to come up, especially knowing that you'd be dismissed.
 

[(Enigma)]

1 minute ago, plasticapollos said:

I just felt like I relived my own mother's comments. And then my own. I understand. 

*Hugs* You have family here, and we like you just how you are. <3 It takes a lot of bravery to come up, especially knowing that you'd be dismissed.
 

I'm sorry your mother said the same. There is just so much. 

 

*hugs* I'm glad I have virtual people who get it all. 

 

I did know I was going to be dismissed and get nowhere but I just needed to in that moment for some reason. 

[blueheroness]

I'm sorry that was so hard. It seems like a tough conversation. 😣