Aleda Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 I had a boyfriend for a while. He was super sweet and was willing to go my pace of things. He asked one day, “Can I kiss you?” I misheard him thinking he said, “Can we hang out?” He brought it up later and told me what he actually said. I freaked out. I didn’t feel comfortable with the prospect of being kissed. And I thought it over a lot and broke up with him. I never told anyone that I panicked over the idea of being kissed. And before that moment I had been questioning my sexuality, and afterwords even more so. I’m just not sure if it’s a sign of being asexual or if it’s more a sign of being aromantic. (I’m in high school.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Hey Aleda Welcome to AVEN! Not wanting to kiss or have any form of close intimacy with a significant other is a classic asexual trait so you are probably on the spectrum somewhere. We need to distinguish the differences between asexual and aromantic attraction. Asexual is when you experience a lack of sexual attraction towards a person (you don't want to have any shape of sexual contact) and aromantic is when you experience a lack of romantic attraction (you don't experience the stereotypical warm fuzzies... butterflies... etc.). It's possible to be somewhere on both spectrums (: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Out of interest, how old are you? (I just ask because my answer will be different depending on your age!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
timewarp Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Not wanting to kiss is a sure sign of not being into kissing. I can't see any reason why a sexual can't dislike kissing or why an asexual can't like kissing. Neither can I see any reason why an aromantic person cannot like kissing. Misunderstandings between aces and non-aces start when sexuals see things like kissing, cuddling etc. as foreplay, whereas we see it as a sensual activity with no more to it. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nirnroot Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 I know that it probably means you don't like men in some way. Have you ever considered that you like women? If that isn't a possibility then it could definitely be a sign that you're ace. I know that when I was a clueless middle schooler, I tried to date men. And the idea of doing anything with them made me very uncomfortable, and I thought it meant I wasn't ready. Turns out I was asexual homoromantic, but it took me years to put that together. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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