Tintinfan Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 @helana12_03 It was a spoken essay for a speaking exam. They didn't appear to be worried. Probably a nice change from people waxing lyrical about their boyfriends. Note the boyfriend. My friend described her ideal girlfriend (she's bi) and her teacher corrected all of the nouns and adjective to the male ending in her speaking essay. Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 18 minutes ago, Tintinfan said: @helana12_03 It was a spoken essay for a speaking exam. They didn't appear to be worried. Probably a nice change from people waxing lyrical about their boyfriends. Note the boyfriend. My friend described her ideal girlfriend (she's bi) and her teacher corrected all of the nouns and adjective to the male ending in her speaking essay. That's so insensitive and ignorant. Did your friend complain? Did this affect her final score? Was it a public speaking type of thing or just you and the teacher? Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Some hard parts of being aromantic: 1) trying to make friends with people who develop attractions to you; I have been able to have some great male friends, but others act like they understand, then still try to push like they didn't actually believe me the whole time. I end up having to drop them as a friend 2) friends getting significant others and slowly fading more and more out of your life.. You were the one they spent all their time with but not anymore. I understand, but it still hurts. I also will get jealous of the attention they give their partners. 3) people assuming you have dated or are a sexual person and you struggle with whether to tell people the whole spiel anytime sexuality comes up. Usually just end up saying nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 Of course, I have considered starting to date, because I mostly just want a live-in best friend that is more permanent, but it's harder to find that than a romantic partner. Debating if I'd be willing to enter a romantic or even sexual relationship if it was the right person. I am just feeling lonely, and miss the days when I was younger and got to spend almost every single day with my best friend ever. It kind of hurts to think that cannot ever be something I have more permanently in my life. (I mean sure you can get a friend as a roommate but usually they find a lover and move on from you). Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I'm not fully aromantic I'm aroflux (meaning my orientation fluctuates for me personally it fluctuates between aromantic and demi romantic) but I've been accused of being jealous I've been asked why I don't want a relationship and I've had my mum try setting me up with someone which was annoying Link to post Share on other sites
Tintinfan Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 14 minutes ago, helana12_03 said: That's so insensitive and ignorant. Did your friend complain? Did this affect her final score? Was it a public speaking type of thing or just you and the teacher? I'm not sure if she did. She complained to us but I'm not sure if she complained to the teacher as that teacher was particularly scary. One on one with a teacher remembering a A4 sheet of writing with 40 prompt words... I loved speaking assment... Not Link to post Share on other sites
Kyōma32 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 I find it difficult to deal with flirting (when I notice) as well as the fear of missing out on something 99% of people think is really neat. I don't desire relationships at all, and because of this, I feel I will never get to have what everyone seems to want. It makes it hard to be okay with being aro ace. Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 7 minutes ago, Kyōma32 said: I find it difficult to deal with flirting (when I notice) as well as the fear of missing out on something 99% of people think is really neat. I don't desire relationships at all, and because of this, I feel I will never get to have what everyone seems to want. It makes it hard to be okay with being aro ace. I kind of got over feeling like I'm missing out when I realized that some people have deeper love for each other in their friendship than others do in their romances. I think I'm just more afraid of being able to hold onto these friendships because I've noticed they definitely change when the person gets into a romantic relationship. I think I'm afraid I won't be able to have the long term friendship people get when they have a long term lover or spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Kyōma32 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 8 minutes ago, spazzticsoda said: I kind of got over feeling like I'm missing out when I realized that some people have deeper love for each other in their friendship than others do in their romances. I think I'm just more afraid of being able to hold onto these friendships because I've noticed they definitely change when the person gets into a romantic relationship. I think I'm afraid I won't be able to have the long term friendship people get when they have a long term lover or spouse. Sadly, you are spot on with that. I have two friends going that way right now, and we spend less and less time together. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 1 hour ago, spazzticsoda said: I kind of got over feeling like I'm missing out when I realized that some people have deeper love for each other in their friendship than others do in their romances. I think I'm just more afraid of being able to hold onto these friendships because I've noticed they definitely change when the person gets into a romantic relationship. I think I'm afraid I won't be able to have the long term friendship people get when they have a long term lover or spouse. yes . That happened to me . I was friends with a guy who kicked me out of his life the moment I said I was aro , he was looking for a girlfriend and apparently , I wasn't good enough to be just a friend 😒 Link to post Share on other sites
donttouchme Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I dread the day kids arrive. That is truly the ironic death knell for many friendships. One friend recently disappeared on me since she got a bf. We shared quite a few intimate thoughts with each other but since every hang out has included him. I have not brought it up but I've sought it out in others (with success). The hardest part of ACE is constantly cycling through friendships. I'd prefer the live-in best friend where I could do everything but the physical touch part. I really dislike that part. We'll adopt a dog and name her Kiwi. Link to post Share on other sites
PittAce92 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Like what a lot of comments have included, some are: "Why are you still single?" "Oh, you haven't met the right person yet" "You're not looking hard enough" "My friend is looking for someone" or even "My friend wants to know what love is too, so you are a perfect match" (Since when did we decide referencing Foreigner "I Want to Know What Love Is" is acceptable for an asexual, even if this asexual likes the song for the melody ) It is just the brazen tone from people sometimes, even friends you respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 11 hours ago, Kyōma32 said: I find it difficult to deal with flirting (when I notice) Subtle flirting I generally don't notice and the more obvious flirting can make me feel odd/slightly uncomfortable so you aren't alone there 11 hours ago, spazzticsoda said: I think I'm just more afraid of being able to hold onto these friendships because I've noticed they definitely change when the person gets into a romantic relationship Unfortunately this is all too true Link to post Share on other sites
givememyname Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 9 hours ago, donttouchme said: I dread the day kids arrive. That is truly the ironic death knell for many friendships. Me too Thankfully two of my closest friends don't want kids, but maybe they'll change their minds and I'm scared this will be the end of our friendship. I wish I could make aro friends and I wouldn't have to worry about these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamabookworm Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 My really straight sister likes to try to set me up with apparently “cute” younger brothers of her friends that I have either never met before or know but don't want to date cause I’m super Aro Ace, but she doesn’t know that. Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 39 minutes ago, Iamthebookwormgirl said: My really straight sister likes to try to set me up with apparently “cute” younger brothers of her friends that I have either never met before or know but don't want to date cause I’m super Aro Ace, but she doesn’t know that. My older sister would do that. I also hung out with this guy a lot and she tried convincing me that I must be in love with him -3-. Link to post Share on other sites
Mx. Who Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Okay, so I'm sadly not an aromatic. But I am asexual, thank God!! I'm going to tell everyone a story!! My English teacher gave us an assignment when we were reading Romeo and Juliet (the stupid people). She said stuff like "I'm sure you've long dreamed about your perfect mate, and how their eyes sparkle and that perfect way their hair parts." Yes, she literally said mate. Anyway, so I raised my hand. She called on me. I said, "Can I put nonexistent?" Then a boy said "What are you asexual?" I said, "Yes, actually, I am!" The stupid boy immediately started gossiping. (No offense meant to any other boys.) So that assignment sucked. Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 15 hours ago, Iamthebookwormgirl said: My really straight sister likes to try to set me up with apparently “cute” younger brothers of her friends that I have either never met before or know but don't want to date cause I’m super Aro Ace, but she doesn’t know that. So it's not just mums who want to be annoying in that regards Link to post Share on other sites
Iamabookworm Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 On 2/26/2018 at 6:30 PM, spazzticsoda said: My older sister would do that. I also hung out with this guy a lot and she tried convincing me that I must be in love with him -3-. Luckily my sister doesn't live with me anymore, and i only have to deal with stuff like that when she visits during school breaks! Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 On 2/27/2018 at 9:56 AM, Tasha27 said: So it's not just mums who want to be annoying in that regards Nah, my mom is super chill and so is my dad. It's my older sister who was the annoying one . Link to post Share on other sites
Orianaro Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 On 2/22/2018 at 8:04 PM, arekathevampyre said: Awesome !! hahaha same here lol I am glad no one actually tell me they like me (romantically) - I would be mortified !! OH MY GOODNESS I have a friend who knows that I'm aromantic and so pretended to tell me they liked me (we were talking about what my reaction would probably be so I saw it coming) and ohh it was horrible. Apparently I looked mildly panicked... Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Sometimes I think I'm lith... I like people and I like to like people, but when these feelings are returned I can't skidaddle fast enough! It's so frustrating, I just want to accept that these feelings are a two-way street but it's like my heart hates the bloody compliment. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Now that I know who I am, I've never had trouble with being aromantic, I never got the flowers and hearts thing anyway, so just putting a name to it changed nothing really. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 On Friday, February 23, 2018 at 9:04 AM, arekathevampyre said: Awesome !! hahaha same here lol I am glad no one actually tell me they like me (romantically) - I would be mortified !! someone told me that and I was shocked but once the shock got over , I wondered how can they ever like me romantically (I mean , I am not the kind who look pretty or whatever) ... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 The constant fear that someone might think you like them. Link to post Share on other sites
erf Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 "You're missing out" Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 People not taking it seriously/thinking it's not a real thing Link to post Share on other sites
Srslydunno Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 People that keep assuming that I'm just too selfish/childish/egiostic to be in a relationship. Or ppl that will circle around you telling how magnificant love is or how much do you miss out. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 I never know if people flirt with me because it's fun (yay!) or they want... something (nay!). A collegue was constantly flirting with me, and he's actually a nice and fun guy, but I was hesitant to flirt back because I had no idea if he meant it or not. He does this with other colleagues as well though, so it's most likely just his nature. Personally I love flirting, as long as it has no meaning behind it. When it becomes serious I run for the hills. Luckily, after a while I found out he has a girlfriend of two years, and he's really just having fun. So we're flirting like mad and it's just so much fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Beaver Boy Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I remember taking a practice SAT (or was it ACT?) exam I believe from a Princeton Review prep book. One of the reading questions asked who a certain character was, I skimmed the story, and a male character said he had to pick up his sister (the character on question). So I checked the “his sister” option. Apparently I was wrong because he put his arm around her waist so I was supposed to “take the hint” that she was his girlfriend (the correct answer). How do they expect us to know this!!! In real life, I hug my sister and lots of times people think were a couple, which is threefold annoying because 1. I’m aro ace, 2. We’re siblings, and 3. She’s gay. And then, she’s like a really close friend to me so I guess that’s why ppl think she’s my girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
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