AceBK Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Hey Everyone - After decades of pursuing relationships and avoiding them, seeking a place to fit in and not finding one and all the while obtaining master status in the art of people pleasing, somehow I developed a relationship with myself which seems somewhat healthy (although it may just be a prolonged honeymoon phase). Along with self-acceptance comes a deeper understanding of my identity. My character is quite strong and one that I will not attach any labels or terms to because I feel that many or none apply at any given moment. Why should others define me so easily when I've had such difficulties doing so for a really, really long time? This is not a criticism of anyone, just what works for me at this point of my life given my history and personal experience. Had I known about this forum years ago, I may have gotten to this place more quickly. I find comfort maintaining the delusion that things happen the way they do for a reason. And as far as introductions go, I've started badly, so Hi! I'm Ace, 50 years old but terribly immature, have over 3k facebook friends, dozens of IRL friends I can call in an emergency but there are only 2 maybe 3 that I might call, begrudgingly. I've worked in the nightlife and entertainment scene for over 30 years hiding behind a persona that allowed me to relate to others and become highly skilled in social situations. Despite always feeling and being different than, I have had a lot of fun trying to fit in with a vibrant community of wonderful and occasionally awful people. I do not regret this identity I developed and navigated life with - it's a great feeling to walk into a venue and have the whole room turn and call out my name after all. Sadly that fact hasn't helped me in the slightest when I've felt so totally alone and deep in the grip of depression. I relate to animals more easily than people and sometimes feel a closer bond with the characters from the video games I play than that I have with dear friends. I'm over the moon with Giddy, my horse in Skyrim, who I'm always having to chase after and yeah it's weird but I'm okay with that. My hope is that I may gain some further insight into myself here and perhaps find others I can relate to even if people can't relate to me, which I'm quite accustomed to by now. I do find such relief in knowing that nobody here is going to try to fix me up with someone or ask me why I haven't found the right person yet. Most people make the confused face or shoot me the "oh brother" look when I tell them I have found the right person - myself. That's not gonna be an issue here simply because I can't see you. I've moderated forums in the past going as far back as the days of BBS's so I'm a newbie with mileage. I have reviewed the guidelines, TOS, etc. With that said, I'm a true New Yorker and drop the f-bomb on the regular and joke around a lot. Don't let that put you off - I'm one who believes in respect afforded to everyone - that people should have the safety and support they need to express themselves - I follow through on this belief in practice. Before I end, I want to share about my recent internet search on the word, asexuality. I first typed this into the Bing search engine which resulted with the auto suggestion of "asexuality symptoms" and was immediately taken aback. WTF? I then tried Google and got, "asexuality test" (now I'm curious - blood test or multiple choice?) which made me feel a little better. I moved on to Dogpile and DAMN, "asexuality symptoms" again. Finally DuckDuckGo only produced a result with just "asexu" having been typed in and came back with "asexual definition". My conclusion: I use Bing as a search engine only to get those Microsoft Points. As much as I want to win a Surface Studio I know it ain't gonna happen so I think it's time I search exclusively with DuckDuckGo. Okay-See-Ya! - Ace Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Welcome Ace! It’s very true that the label of asexuality is to help others understand, but it also means that one can find others like themself, and can understand others a bit more. Don’t force yourself to take up a label if you don’t want to, but if you like the definition you can accept that the definition may apply, or chose whether to take it on but not tell anyone so that you know. P.s. What kind of horse is Giddy? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Hello and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
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