Asexual? Bisexual? What am I?

[icaros]

Hi! 20 years old female here.

I hope this explanation won't get too complicated...

 

At first, I've had crushes on both, guys and girls. (Although the girls crushes have been very rare.)

I can feel physically attracted to guys, but the idea of sex feels distant and weird. I like to cuddle sometimes instead. I have had sex with both of my previous boyfriends (because of the social pressure). Sometimes it felt physically nice, but mostly I just found it boring. Sometimes I've even felt slightly disgusted. I always tried my best to play along when my partner was horny, but they still somehow sensed that I'm not actually in a mood myself (and that lead to an argue, since my boyfriends always used to take it as an insult when I "wasn't sexually attracted to them").

 

I can also find girls very physically attractive, and even have fantasies of them. I'd never want to have sex with a girl in real life though.

When I'm alone, I do like to masturbate and fantasize. I just don't feel the need to find an actual person and have sex. In reality the sex just isn't nowhere as great as in the fantasies.

 

Now I just have no idea if I'm asexual or just have low libido. Also, I don't know if the negative experiences (others putting pressure on me & having hundred of arguments because of sex issues) have affected on this situation somehow.

[Moenalie]

Hello
I'm in the same situation as, i've been attracted to both girls and guys for reasons that aren't the will to have sex or anything of that sort, well, I didn't really felt like physically attracted to anyone either, but either way here is my share of what I experience I guess
I do happen to fantaisize about any kind of scenario , but there is an important catch, I don't feel like I would actually do it with someone IRL
as i've read to many places , you can feel the need to have thoose kind of fantaisies but still not will to engage in any kind of sexual relationship with someone
May it be because of bad experiences in the past, or that you just feel disgusted by the contact it all is up to you to figure out
you don't have to be strictly labeling yourself as asexual nor bi nor anything tbh, just take the time to find what you think is right for yourself
I'm also going by that step tbh so good luck~
be happy~

[danvers]

There are different kinds of attraction, so you can think someone is good-looking (aesthetic attraction), want to cuddle with them or touch them non-sexually (sensual attraction), and want a romantic relationship with them (romantic attraction) without ever wanting sex with them (sexual attraction). Since there are different kinds of attractions that don't always happen together, you can have different romantic and sexual orientation. It sounds like you could be biromantic asexual, like me! I have had crushes on guys and girls, and I could see myself in a happy romantic relationship with someone of my some gender or a different gender. However, I have never experienced sexual attraction, and the idea of sex kind of weirds me out.

 

Hope this helps!