Zale Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 So, I desire a queerplatonic partner, and I've noticed that I only get the desire for that kind of more than platonic but not quite romantic relationship with only guys? I think this is different than most other people who want a QPR, who, from what I've read and heard, seem to want it equally for everyone, and I don't know if it's weird, or I'm just thinking about it too much. I think it's purely because I understand, get along with better, and overall share the same interests with other guys, and that's kinda the reason for the queerplatonic attraction? I don't know, I was mostly just wondering if I'm just weird or this is a more common thing that I thought, just not commonly talked about (that I've seen)? Sorry if this is really confusing or if my question just doesn't make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 So basically you wonder if it's common for QPR seekers to prefer a certain gender? Link to post Share on other sites
Zale Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 6 minutes ago, Homer said: So basically you wonder if it's common for QPR seekers to prefer a certain gender? Yeah because it's not something I've seen discussed. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenAce Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I'm, from what I can tell, only platonic attracted to guys, the only people I have had squishes on are straight guys, it kinda sucks, cause like, I want a relationship with them (QPR), but not the kind they're looking for (romantic/sexual). I can agree with the thing of not seeing it discussed. I'm someone who finds comfort in giving everything in my life a name (labels- but I don't let them define me, and I change them as I change). I use the split attraction model, and go further than I assume most people do, saying I'm hetero-platonic, cause I have have no desire to be friends with a girl, really for several years... Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 9 minutes ago, Zale said: Yeah because it's not something I've seen discussed. I've actually seen people refer to themselves with terms like "heteroplatonic" and "homoplatonic" to express gendered preference in QPRs, so that's definitely a thing. Actually, I'm slowly realizing that I can experience very powerful platonic attraction towards other men, so in some respects, you and I might be in the same boat. Link to post Share on other sites
fiѕh Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Most people have a gender preference for romantic relationships, and enough people generally prefer to make friends with one gender. Makes perfect sense to me that it can apply to anything in between as well. Can't back that up with experience because it's all not the case for me, but like... it makes sense, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Member5732 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 7 hours ago, Zale said: So, I desire a queerplatonic partner, and I've noticed that I only get the desire for that kind of more than platonic but not quite romantic relationship with only guys? I think this is different than most other people who want a QPR, who, from what I've read and heard, seem to want it equally for everyone, and I don't know if it's weird, or I'm just thinking about it too much. I think it's purely because I understand, get along with better, and overall share the same interests with other guys, and that's kinda the reason for the queerplatonic attraction? I don't know, I was mostly just wondering if I'm just weird or this is a more common thing that I thought, just not commonly talked about (that I've seen)? Sorry if this is really confusing or if my question just doesn't make sense. Oh my!! It's like talking in the mirror. You are saying everything I've been saying all these times. I also used to think that it's kinda weird maybe but now I don't think of it like that anymore. We all are different and have different preferences and most importantly, we are who we are for a lot of reasons. I just want you to know that it's totally cool and don't be confused. You are looking in the mirror xD ( You'll know why I'm saying it when you see my info ) Feel free to PM me or talk to me about anything anytime. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I don't want to be in a QPR but I'm only friends with girls. Wasn't a conscious choice on my part, that's just the way it happened. Some of my friends are friends with boys so they'll be around sometimes at larger social gatherings but... yeah. The female experience has shaped my life in a lot of ways. I went to an all girls school for fourteen years. I have an older sister. I just really don't connect with guys and after uncomfortable experiences later in life I really don't feel comfortable around them either unless they're associated with one of my girl friends and they're present during all of our interactions. Link to post Share on other sites
Haze. Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I prefer QPRs with boys and romantic relationships with girls and androgynous people, I think. Not to say that I haven't been romantically interested in a boy, but those are the ways my preferences lean. Link to post Share on other sites
Zale Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Thank you to everyone who responded to this, it was really helpful!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ldlelee Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 I don't think it's weird at all to have a gender preference when it comes to QPRs. The same applies to sexual and romantic attraction, right? You want relationships with certain genders (or none at all), so the same would apply to platonic attraction. I, personally, can only see myself in a QPR with a female or someone who is biologically female but identifies on the non-binary spectrum. Men generally make me uncomfortable (nothing against any of you here), and growing up, almost all of my friends were female. That's the way I am, and nothing can change that. Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 On 2/21/2018 at 11:47 PM, Gareki said: I don't think it's weird at all to have a gender preference when it comes to QPRs. The same applies to sexual and romantic attraction, right? You want relationships with certain genders (or none at all), so the same would apply to platonic attraction. I, personally, can only see myself in a QPR with a female or someone who is biologically female but identifies on the non-binary spectrum. Men generally make me uncomfortable (nothing against any of you here), and growing up, almost all of my friends were female. That's the way I am, and nothing can change that. Hello my Shizuo, Izaya friend. I want to give you a cyber hug! I also think it makes total sense for QPRs to have gender preferences; I know it's problematic to say this, but men and women (cis or trans) tend to act a certain way in general, adn we attach to certain personality types. As for me, I've been great friends with both girls and guys. People who are male I am more wary of though because I've had the problem of them hiding their sexual intentions and then pulling them up on me later, despite me saying we are just friends and I'm asexual. This is not all the guys ,though. I've had great friendships with guys regardless, but girls are usually a safer bet. I think I have more of an age requirement than a gender one. I don't think they could be any more than 3 or 4 years younger and definitely not too much older than 10 years. I've never had a QPR but I really really really really want one pretty bad, and am considering scouring the internet for one (maybe I should put an ad for one in my signature here). Link to post Share on other sites
Ldlelee Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 33 minutes ago, spazzticsoda said: Hello my Shizuo, Izaya friend. I want to give you a cyber hug! AHHH, THANKS! *cyber hugs* (That gif has gotten so much attention. I'm glad I put it in my signature. xD) Link to post Share on other sites
Extroverted Introvert Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 On 2/21/2018 at 9:27 AM, Galactic Turtle said: I don't want to be in a QPR but I'm only friends with girls. Wasn't a conscious choice on my part, that's just the way it happened. Some of my friends are friends with boys so they'll be around sometimes at larger social gatherings but... yeah. The female experience has shaped my life in a lot of ways. I went to an all girls school for fourteen years. I have an older sister. I just really don't connect with guys and after uncomfortable experiences later in life I really don't feel comfortable around them either unless they're associated with one of my girl friends and they're present during all of our interactions. I also desire a QPR (or think I do?) and am only really interested in having one with a guy. I always figured that this was shaped by what my culture and religion views as acceptable (even though I know a QPR doesn't involve a sexual relationship, so having one with a girl wouldn't actually go against what my religion teaches). But now that I have stepped back and looked at my life, I think that it probably has to do more with the fact that I simply have more guy friends. I only have brothers and have generally had more guy friends growing up. I have one close girl friend but otherwise have tended to connect more with guys. And now that I am studying technology, there is an even more imbalanced number of guys in my life. So I think there can be several influences for why someone might lean towards a particular gender for a QPR. I think that is very natural. Link to post Share on other sites
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