Foxoul Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I've thought I was for a while but I've been thinking about it more recently and I have no idea. Basically, whenever I see a person who is really attractive to me I get like... fluttery and stuff? But then I think about being in a sexual situation with them and I have what is basically a panic attack (though it isn't usually as bad as my normal ones) and I have no idea why. The only logical explanation I can see is being asexual, since I've never (to my knowledge/memory) been traumatized or assaulted in any way (there was one thing but I don't think it traumatized me it wasn't really serious?). I think I would be fine just saying I'm asexual and sex repulsed or whatever but I still feel feelings? Usually for the first few seconds after meeting someone I might have feelings like fluttering and jumping in my stomach but it never goes beyond that. (Part of it might be related to me having schizoid personality disorder (and borderline), but I don't know) Please help if you can this is stressing me out a lot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lizbeth Mav Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Do you want to have sex with people? If not then you're probably asexual. I have crushes and stop and i like them and my heart races and i get butterflies in my stomach but i would never want to have sex with them i think its disgusting and how do i know that ur not only in it for sex? I like a genuine relationship based on love, feelings, understand and not sexual pleasure so i identify as asexual and if you can relate even a little you probably are too but theres a whole spectrum and everyone is different so look into it but dont get to stressed out about it just be you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxoul Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 10 minutes ago, Lizbeth Mav said: Do you want to have sex with people? If not then you're probably asexual. I have crushes and stop and i like them and my heart races and i get butterflies in my stomach but i would never want to have sex with them i think its disgusting and how do i know that ur not only in it for sex? I like a genuine relationship based on love, feelings, understand and not sexual pleasure so i identify as asexual and if you can relate even a little you probably are too but theres a whole spectrum and everyone is different so look into it but dont get to stressed out about it just be you I don't know if I want to. I have but I don't know if it was because I was in a relationship and felt like I had to or if I did actually want to have sex. A lot of the times when we did have sex I would almost dissociate? Not exactly that but it would be like it wasn't me. I could touch or be touched at different times and still be stressed as hell but okay but if I tried to do both I would start crying. This is probably too personal but the few times I try to masturbate I can't finish like I would get bored and even if I want to my body just stops responding? But even just thinking about sex with people I like or find physically appealing I will get close to if not actually start crying Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lizbeth Mav Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Im no expert but i'd say you could identify as asexual i totally relate to the part u said about wanting to cry thinking about sex with someone you like so thats what makes me think youre asexual the part about masturbation ive read countless times that it has nothing to do with being asexual and doesnt effect your sexuality 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Hey Foxoul Welcome to AVEN! From your description it sounds like you may be on the asexual spectrum - join the club! However you also mention that you feel those warm fuzzies and butterflies when crossing paths with someone attractive. One thing to know is that sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two seperate streams. Those warm fuzzies and butterflies may be feelings of romantic attraction - perhaps even simply aesthetic attraction (meaning, you think the physical appearance of someone is pleasing to your eye). Sexual attraction is what your brain thinks, heart feels, and soul swallows, it's quite seperate from any sexual activity you have encountered. Often, not all the time, but often asexuality is not induced by a traumatic event. People can become sex-repulsed from this, meaning you are repulsed from the act itself, but attraction lies in the gut feeling and when you feel an attraction towards someone whether it be romantic, sexual, etc., it's something we cannot easily deny. Please know that it's okay to be confused about your sexual orientation! We're all here to figure it out together (: Best of luck! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 No need to label, just go with how you feel. One comment though is that there are a fair number of people who only have sexual interest when they are already romantically involved with someone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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