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Is this what sexual attraction feels like?


mimi3g

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Hi everyone! I will try to keep this as brief as I can.

 

Basically there is this dude that I met last year that I had always been attracted to and thought was cute/funny. Even though on paper he is not someone I would logically want to have as my boyfriend but for some reason even if I said I didn't like him like that, I was still always drawn to him and wanted him to like me and wanted to impress him, etc. Then this year somehow the circumstances ended up with me doing some intimate things with him (not sex, but it was more intimate than I've ever been with someone before so to me it was a big deal! Especially as someone who thinks she's on the asexual spectrum). I will admit the physical act itself was kinda uncomfortable for me, but the idea of having this  experience with this person was pretty special to me especially since I thought I would never have interest in this activity with someone. But then he essentially ghosted me and it hurt me really bad and still does months later. He knew it was a huge deal for me but yet for some reason he just vanished with no explanation or reason which is really hard on me to not have closure. Sexual things have always been a hard subject for me (hence the fact that I'm on an asexual forum) but then when I actually try getting intimate it completely backfires on me. Yet, for whatever reason despite all the anger/confusion/sadness I have towards this guy, I still feel drawn to him. Logically I would never want to get back with him or anything because I know I would just get hurt again, but I still find myself feeling attracted to him.... is that what sexual attraction is like?

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from what you've shared, it could be sexual or romantic or both. Probably romantic, as you said:

 

2 hours ago, mimi3g said:

I will admit the physical act itself was kinda uncomfortable for me, but the idea of having this  experience with this person was pretty special to me 

 

Which usually is something romantic asexuals say. Tho sometimes... a sexual person might say that when inexperienced... but, be aware that some people are perfectly happy never having sex. If you are such a person who wants to not have sex, then don't - it's perfectly valid and healthy to feel that way. 


it's more important to accept who you are today, rather than to fret over what might change tomorrow. Let the consistency speak for itself, and the unknown be only speculation. 

 

 

 

 

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