Gldlynch Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hey AVEN Does anyone on this site identify as lith, akoi or ap -romantic? These are the people who experience romantic attraction towards other people, but don't desire for those feelings to be reciprocated by those individuals. I.e. You admire love in theory but not through practice; you don't want the romantic attraction returned. If you identify as lith, akoi or ap, what are your experiences? Did you pursue those feelings and date? How did you discover that this is your romantic attraction? Did your feelings ever change? Please share some of your stories! x Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 3 hours ago, Gldlynch said: Hey AVEN Does anyone on this site identify as lith, akoi or ap -romantic? These are the people who experience romantic attraction towards other people, but don't desire for those feelings to be reciprocated by those individuals. I.e. You admire love in theory but not through practice; you don't want the romantic attraction returned. If you identify as lith, akoi or ap, what are your experiences? Did you pursue those feelings and date? How did you discover that this is your romantic attraction? Did your feelings ever change? Please share some of your stories! x I still date, and I write about couples in Fanfiction that experience romance. But I make it clear to anyone(once I know them well enough that I may not feel the same as me when it comes to love, some are understanding, but others aren't. I discovered this was my romantic attraction when I felt like I couldn't love my ex in the same way he loved me. Link to post Share on other sites
MissyLithy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I feel like I'm somewhere between lithromantic and homoromantic. I don't exactly want my feelings to be returned (in fact it's probably best if they're not) but... if they are returned, I won't just immediately break up with them. But I bring up homoromantic because when I do date, I only go for women. Don't really know if that makes me some sort of combination of the two or what, but I'm leaning toward lithromantic (hence "MissyLithy"). Link to post Share on other sites
Asharee Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Yup, I'm Lith! 😊 The one time I was actually "in" love and not nauseated by it (I actually felt butterflies and everything!) was with my four month long boyfriend in (wait for it)... Grade four. Yup, my best relationship was at ten years old. Ever since then I have been physically repulsed by anything romantic (flowers, kisses, etc). If the person doesn't like me and gives me a kiss, I'm perfectly fine! If they make that lovey-dovey face at me or tell me they like me, I become physically nauseated and can't stand the thought or sight of them, and can't even be seen with them in public if I do start dating them! It's absolutely dreadful because I really do want to experience love and romance, and imagine it quite often (even when I have a"crush" on someone) but as soon as I receive that love, I'm disgusted. Definitely the worst thing ever, to want love but not be "wired" for it! Link to post Share on other sites
bananagoatman Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I'm akoi! It's lit. Basically I just get to fantasize about having romantic/sexual relationships and never deal with the reprecussions that would come with actually having one. Most of the people I like are characters from movies, books, etc. it's only awkward when they actually exist. I'll get someone's number, ask them out, feel sick, and then text them saying Im too busy for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Keewee Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 On 2/20/2018 at 11:52 PM, Asharee said: It's absolutely dreadful because I really do want to experience love and romance, and imagine it quite often (even when I have a"crush" on someone) but as soon as I receive that love, I'm disgusted. Yup, this is how I feel. I don't have much experience, but it has happened to me twice where guys I like and want to get to know better start to show signs of maybe liking me back that I start to hit the brakes and distance myself from them. It makes me feel awful and awkward, because on one hand I use to really like and want to get to know them but now my stomach just feels sick, and on the other hand I feel like a jerk for hoping for them to like me and then just turn around and start to distance myself. The first guy I don't feel too bad about because he has never really reached out to me again, but the second guy I see fairly often as we are in the same major and so have many of the same classes. We are on better terms now, but not like before. Despite this happening, I still really want a relationship but I'm nervous about reaching out because I don't want to retreat again and make the guy feel bad, because it's not just my feelings on the line. It can really suck, and I don't know if its the case of "he wasn't the one", or if it's just the way I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Madao Posted July 9, 2018 Share Posted July 9, 2018 I think I am something between lithoromantic and aromantic. I am a huge, hopeless romantic, and I always fantasize about perfect relationship and spend my day shipping characters. However, to this day, I haven't really experienced a solid crush on anyone or a celebrity yet. A guy once had approached me during my middle school days and my friend told me how he was into me. He contacted me on my phone even though I hadn't given it to him and I got scared and immediately blocked him. I like the idea of someone crushing on me, but when that happens, I get scared and want that person to divert their attention to something else. Link to post Share on other sites
SallyBlackwater Posted July 9, 2018 Share Posted July 9, 2018 I'm... not sure. I don't experience romantic feelings that frequently, and usually they aren't reciprocated. That one time that I had the feeling someone I liked was interested in me, my brain just noped out of it and I felt physically awful for a weekend. It sounds like I might be lithromantic, but at the same time I'm not sure if my feelings can be explained by a romantic orientation or it's just me wanting to be free and not wanting to "settle down".... Link to post Share on other sites
Eveelowthwaite Posted July 11, 2018 Share Posted July 11, 2018 I identify as Lith but rather than an immediate repulsion I’ve experienced a slow fade of feelings. If they don’t reciprocate or are like famous I can keep crushes and romantic interest going for YEARS. Hell I’ve even had a kind of pseudo relationship with a guy in the other side of the country for 2 yrs now. However, when it’s real aka we meet face to face &/or date, the attraction fades away. Sometimes swiftly (1 or 2 dates) and sometimes slowly, the longest I’ve managed a relationship is 2 months. We lived in different cities hours apart and still his affection got to me and became annoying, dull & made me feel kinda gross. Link to post Share on other sites
luna07 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I'm questioning as lith. I've had lots of crushes and only a few have been reciprocated, and every time that happened my attraction vanished immediately. The most extreme case was last year when I had this huge crush on a friend of mine. I liked him for months and had a really close, flirty friendship with him. Then on our first date I got really repulsed, sat as far away from him as possible during the movie, and left early. This made me really confused and ashamed, but it was a huge relief to learn about Lithromanticism! (I actually only started questioning a month ago and I'm 15, so nothing's set in stone) (ha, get it? "stone") Link to post Share on other sites
DogObsessedLi Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Thanks for this post! I've just had an epiphany and have realised after a long and painful period that I'm lithromantic. I crush on people but once we get into a relationship the attraction fizzles out. It's not necessarily the statement "I love you",but it's the whole body language communication when when they start reciprocating it. It's highly frustrating because I find I want a relationship and I get lonely, but in practice it's stressful and nauseating. Even a romantic character in a film can totally make me go cold because even though it's fictional, my head blurs the lines between reality and fiction quite a bit while I'm watching a film. I'm fed up of my relationships going pear-shaped. An ex has just come back in my life (not as a partner as yet), but I'm scared I'll hurt him all over again, I don't want to hurt anyone and definitely not a good 'un like him. I end up feeling like a jerk. I suppose with awareness comes mindfulness about how I then function in such relationships, helping me to have choice about how I then respond in a relationship (unlike being unaware and on autopilot that is). On 7/11/2018 at 8:25 AM, Eveelowthwaite said: I identify as Lith but rather than an immediate repulsion I’ve experienced a slow fade of feelings. If they don’t reciprocate or are like famous I can keep crushes and romantic interest going for YEARS. Hell I’ve even had a kind of pseudo relationship with a guy in the other side of the country for 2 yrs now. However, when it’s real aka we meet face to face &/or date, the attraction fades away. Sometimes swiftly (1 or 2 dates) and sometimes slowly, the longest I’ve managed a relationship is 2 months. We lived in different cities hours apart and still his affection got to me and became annoying, dull & made me feel kinda gross. This is totally my experience! Link to post Share on other sites
DarkPursuit Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 On 7/11/2018 at 3:25 AM, Eveelowthwaite said: I identify as Lith but rather than an immediate repulsion I’ve experienced a slow fade of feelings. If they don’t reciprocate or are like famous I can keep crushes and romantic interest going for YEARS. Hell I’ve even had a kind of pseudo relationship with a guy in the other side of the country for 2 yrs now. However, when it’s real aka we meet face to face &/or date, the attraction fades away. Sometimes swiftly (1 or 2 dates) and sometimes slowly, the longest I’ve managed a relationship is 2 months. We lived in different cities hours apart and still his affection got to me and became annoying, dull & made me feel kinda gross. You definitely should contact the lasher guy in the other side of the country. Link to post Share on other sites
Nylocke Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I did think I was a lithromantic back in high school because I never desired to pursue relationships or reciprocation for that matter. Likely I could be partially lithromantic because how else would I hold a 2D complex so strongly??? Link to post Share on other sites
gettinaway Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Hi, thanks for starting this topic :3 I'm questioning as lithromantic and maybe lithsexual as well. So yeah, I had "crushes" on guys but it was just.. physical? Like I had stuff like blushing and butterflies in the stomach but didn't really want to date anyone. I was just enjoying the feelings and didn't want it to go any further. And several months ago I liked a guy that way and when he started acting like he liked me back it made me REALLY anxious. It never happened to me before, well, I tried to kind of distance from ppl who liked me but I've never had that panic (?) But a couple of days ago I've read that some aromantics can feel that kind of anxiety so I understood that maybe it's okay :) Sometimes I think that maybe I'm romantic but just "not ready" for all that stuff like relationships and that not having relationships is a choice but not the orientation and blah blah blah. It's really hard but idk what to do in that case... Anyway thanks for reading this! Link to post Share on other sites
Nobody2021 Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I thought I might be aromantic, but that didn’t make sense because I’ve had crushes before, then one day I stumbled upon a Certain little word And everything made sense. i never actually liked the idea of “being in love” and never actually wanted my crushes to be reciprocated either. I also have zero interest in dating. in short, I identify as asexual and lithromantic. It’s hard to find info on lithromanticism. Link to post Share on other sites
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