Conchobar Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hi all. I am an over-sexual man married to a borderline asexual woman. My libido runs at daily when it's going slow. Hers is every 2 months at the fastest. We have spent several years trying to find was to slow my libido and increase hers, (she was very sexual when we first started dating) but so far, nothing has worked. We recently had a talk about allowing me to go outside our marriage for sex. It's not something she is the most comfortable with, (she finds sex and emotion strongly linked, I don't. She recognises that I could pursue sex without any emotional link, it's just a strange idea for her), so after much discussion we have come to a compromise. We have agreed that I can use the internet to find chat services and find other people interested in pure sex and exchange messages, and occasional pictures. Essentially, I am free to sext whomever I please. This allows me a greater access to sexual release, while not going so far as to make her feel like I'm cheating. So far, so good. However, I have hit a snag; I have no idea how to find people for such exchanges! Has anyone ever come to a similar compromise? How do you find willing partners? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
majace Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hi @Conchobar, I recently posted something similar here. Take a look at Chimeric's response to my post and the thread she suggested. If you read through the comments you'll see that this is not something easy. It is hard for women to find men, and even harder for men to find women. We have also found ourselves in a similar situation to yours. There are many online dating sites which my husband is checking out but it is not easy and we have not had any success up to now, especially with the level of discreetness that we wish to pursue. Also, not many people find it appealing to be in the position of this third person. I too, similar to your wife, am afraid that my husband will bond emotionally with someone else but he too, like you, says he wont. This is a never ending and complicated process which we will all be involved in so please keep us updated on your ideas and lessons learned and we will do the same Link to post Share on other sites
Conchobar Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 Thanks for the info. I've looked at a couple of swinger sites, theoretical, people there would be less worried about me being married! unfortunately, so far they all want paid memberships! Good luck to you and your husband Link to post Share on other sites
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