Amanda_cbarros Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Hello! So, I've been using the "aromantic asexual" label for two years and I feel very comfortable with that. When I discovered it, I was so relieved that I couldn't stop crying. But recently, my best friend said she had romantic feelings for me, and that we shouldn't talk or see each other anymore. I feel very broken and alone. I wish I was able to love her like that back, but... I loved hanging out with her, talking and holding hands. Sometimes, I liked to cuddle as well. I used to imagine the both of us living together when we were older, it would be so much fun! The thing is, I could hold hands with other friends too. And hug, and cuddle. She wasn't the only one I wanted to be close to. And I would be okay with her baing close with other people too. Also, sometimes I liked to cuddle, but sometimes it was too much, and I silently hated she was all over me, I wanted my space. She liked to kiss my forehead, hair and hands as well, and I didn't like that. It made me uncomfortable. She was very, very jealous, and I hated it. I wanted to be able to cuddle with other people too, I just can't because she was the only one person close enough to me. I don't have many friends. So... I guess I don't feel romantic attraction, right? I wish I could tho, so I wouldn't have to be alone forever. Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 23 minutes ago, Amanda_cbarros said: Hello! So, I've been using the "aromantic asexual" label for two years and I feel very comfortable with that. When I discovered it, I was so relieved that I couldn't stop crying. But recently, my best friend said she had romantic feelings for me, and that we shouldn't talk or see each other anymore. I feel very broken and alone. I wish I was able to love her like that back, but... I loved hanging out with her, talking and holding hands. Sometimes, I liked to cuddle as well. I used to imagine the both of us living together when we were older, it would be so much fun! The thing is, I could hold hands with other friends too. And hug, and cuddle. She wasn't the only one I wanted to be close to. And I would be okay with her baing close with other people too. Also, sometimes I liked to cuddle, but sometimes it was too much, and I silently hated she was all over me, I wanted my space. She liked to kiss my forehead, hair and hands as well, and I didn't like that. It made me uncomfortable. She was very, very jealous, and I hated it. I wanted to be able to cuddle with other people too, I just can't because she was the only one person close enough to me. I don't have many friends. So... I guess I don't feel romantic attraction, right? I wish I could tho, so I wouldn't have to be alone forever. It sounds like you're aromantic with the way you describe yourself. I am really sorry your friend cannot see you two being friends anymore. That's not fun at all. However, as Optimistic Pessimist says, QPRs and QPPs (partnerships) are quite possible and you may find someone with whom you can be who likes you just the way you are. Also, having a good set of close knit friends is always a plus. These are the people with whom you hang out on a regular basis and rely on in a pinch. I find being among my friends to be the most satisfying thing I can do for myself (but, being an introvert, draining at times - but worth it! ). Hang in there Amanda_cbarros. Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda_cbarros Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 55 minutes ago, OptimisticPessimist said: If you don't experience any romantic attraction, that would Aromantic. Your not broken, if your able try and reach out to them. Aromantic people can be in relationships though, QueerPlatonic. Their's lots of support and advice here . Thank you! I want a queer platonic relationship so badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda_cbarros Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 27 minutes ago, fuzzipueo said: It sounds like you're aromantic with the way you describe yourself. I am really sorry your friend cannot see you two being friends anymore. That's not fun at all. However, as Optimistic Pessimist says, QPRs and QPPs (partnerships) are quite possible and you may find someone with whom you can be who likes you just the way you are. Also, having a good set of close knit friends is always a plus. These are the people with whom you hang out on a regular basis and rely on in a pinch. I find being among my friends to be the most satisfying thing I can do for myself (but, being an introvert, draining at times - but worth it! ). Hang in there Amanda_cbarros. Thank you for your words! As an introvert myself, being among people and making frienda can be tough. I wish I can find someone who likes me the way I am, but after this experience with my...friend, I don't know if I can get close to someone again. What if I'm never enough? What if I just keep on making people suffer, just like I did to her? Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 36 minutes ago, Amanda_cbarros said: Thank you for your words! As an introvert myself, being among people and making frienda can be tough. I wish I can find someone who likes me the way I am, but after this experience with my...friend, I don't know if I can get close to someone again. What if I'm never enough? What if I just keep on making people suffer, just like I did to her? I've never been in that kind of relationship, but I do understand your pain. Losing someone that close is awful. The only advice I have is give yourself time to heal and keep going forward. Be clear with the next person you are with, communicate your needs, be willing to discuss limits and comfort zones, and take life on your own terms, but be willing to compromise too. Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda_cbarros Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 1 hour ago, fuzzipueo said: I've never been in that kind of relationship, but I do understand your pain. Losing someone that close is awful. The only advice I have is give yourself time to heal and keep going forward. Be clear with the next person you are with, communicate your needs, be willing to discuss limits and comfort zones, and take life on your own terms, but be willing to compromise too. I will try... thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
MissyLithy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hey, I'm so sorry that happened with your friend. I know how it feels to lose someone for that reason. But you are most certainly NOT broken. You, my angel, are valid and worthy and not alone. Perhaps you feel sensual attraction, like with your desires to cuddle and hold hands. I, myself am lithromantic--I want to fall in love but don't want to have my feelings reciprocated. I also felt very broken, but then I found out that it's an actual romantic orientation. I would do almost anything to find an Aromantic to be in a relationship with. And as long as you've got a good personality and friends, you won't be alone. ~Missy Link to post Share on other sites
Hayis4horses Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 On 2/19/2018 at 1:44 PM, Amanda_cbarros said: my best friend said she had romantic feelings for me, and that we shouldn't talk or see each other anymore. That's messed up. I'm sooooooo sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don't get to see my best friend anymore because she moved to the other side of the country. And I can still talk to her, but I am super sad. So, I can't even imagine what you are going through. I apoligize. Hope you feel better soon. Sending virtual hug... Edit: I just realized this is old, so I hope you feel a little better now. Still, everything I said still applies. Link to post Share on other sites
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