Jump to content

I Might Be a Romantic-Repulsed Romantic?


Asharee

Recommended Posts

Alright, so all of my life has been pretty confusing. To begin with, my most successful and ideal relationship happened in grade four (we held hands, I got butterflies, and that was the only time in my life I felt anything non-platonic for someone).

Anyways, especially in my teens, I began to develop crushes on people when I was away from them. I was sort of infatuated with the romantic scenarios I would create for myself, yet whenever I met with them or began to act on romantic impulses, I would become physically nauseous. The act of receiving flowers, a kiss, or anything made me clam up and feel absolutely uncomfortable and horrible despite being sure I liked this person.

To this day, I still enjoy the idea of being in a romantic relationship but I can't get over the queasiness/embarassment of being seen with the person at all.

 

Has anyone had any experience with this? Just so confused as to how I can feel one way and then immediately be repulsed!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Asharee

 

I know exactly how you feel! Romance in theory is such a lovely experience - or at least we make it out to be - however romance in practice is not. It's the constant struggle of liking someone, desiring them to reciprocate the feeling but when they do, you bail because it causes too much anxiety. And the predictable idea of this repeatedly happening also fuels our anxiety.

 

You've labelled yourself as a lithromantic and I think it's the best suited option (: Just know that you aren't alone with the way you feel. Some people may tell you that being a "lithromantic" isn't a real thing but be confident with who you are, your identity is valid! There is an obvious reason why this orientation has been named, people knew that it was occurring too often for it to be just a "phase" and that the "right person" wasn't going to quite come along.

 

Then again, sexuality can be fluid so we need to be prepared for anything unpredictable!

Link to post
Share on other sites
On Monday, February 19, 2018 at 1:36 AM, Gldlynch said:

Hey Asharee

 

I know exactly how you feel! Romance in theory is such a lovely experience - or at least we make it out to be - however romance in practice is not. It's the constant struggle of liking someone, desiring them to reciprocate the feeling but when they do, you bail because it causes too much anxiety. And the predictable idea of this repeatedly happening also fuels our anxiety.

 

You've labelled yourself as a lithromantic and I think it's the best suited option (: Just know that you aren't alone with the way you feel. Some people may tell you that being a "lithromantic" isn't a real thing but be confident with who you are, your identity is valid! There is an obvious reason why this orientation has been named, people knew that it was occurring too often for it to be just a "phase" and that the "right person" wasn't going to quite come along.

 

Then again, sexuality can be fluid so we need to be prepared for anything unpredictable!

This. Has SO much win. Just wanted to say that. And completely agree. I think I'm a mixture of homoromantic and lithromantic, but identify as lithromantic because I totally understand what you mean. As fast as my feelings are reciprocated is how fast I bolt. I think we, as lithromantics, are romantic rebels. Saying anything even close to "I don't want to be romantically loved," IS a rebellion in and of itself in this day and age, where romantic love is put on a pedestal above all other types of love. Your orientation is valid. You are valid. You are a romantic rebel.

~Missy

Link to post
Share on other sites

@MissyLithy Wow. I never thought I'd feel so bad ass, but that's a really cool and empowering way to look at it! I'm absolutely the same in how I bolt, but you know what? Remembering I'm a "Romantic Rebel" will definitely make me more comfortable with being this way! 😊❤️

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Asharee said:

@MissyLithy Wow. I never thought I'd feel so bad ass, but that's a really cool and empowering way to look at it! I'm absolutely the same in how I bolt, but you know what? Remembering I'm a "Romantic Rebel" will definitely make me more comfortable with being this way! 😊❤️

Thank you. *blushes* I'm happy to be helpful. *takes off top hat and does sweeping bow*

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate to some degree. Unlike you, I've only had 2-3 crushes (or squishes) in my life. But even when I did, I didn't actually want to date those people. There was this one guy I actually wanted to date. We dated for a bit and it really wasn't what I thought it would be. The guy was nice and all but I didn't like being in a relationship. Part of me constantly wanted out. At times I would feel nauseous just thinking about the fact that I was in a romantic relationship. It felt so wrong and unnatural. I could barely even get myself to tell people I had a bf. It felt soooo wrong and not me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

@helana12_03 Gotcha! Actually, within the last 3 years I've probably had one serious crush. I get more of a "longing" for romance on my own, rather than it actually being directed at a single person. 

Sorry your relationship didn't feel right, that's never any fun!

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 19/2/2018 at 6:44 AM, Asharee said:

Alright, so all of my life has been pretty confusing. To begin with, my most successful and ideal relationship happened in grade four (we held hands, I got butterflies, and that was the only time in my life I felt anything non-platonic for someone).

Anyways, especially in my teens, I began to develop crushes on people when I was away from them. I was sort of infatuated with the romantic scenarios I would create for myself, yet whenever I met with them or began to act on romantic impulses, I would become physically nauseous. The act of receiving flowers, a kiss, or anything made me clam up and feel absolutely uncomfortable and horrible despite being sure I liked this person.

To this day, I still enjoy the idea of being in a romantic relationship but I can't get over the queasiness/embarassment of being seen with the person at all.

 

Has anyone had any experience with this? Just so confused as to how I can feel one way and then immediately be repulsed!

Did I write this?! 😂

You're definitely not alone.. I feel the exact same way. Except I don't think I've ever felt nauseous if someone acts romantic towards me, however I feel very out of place and uncomfortable. There's a voice in my head saying "this isn't what you want!". I've had crushes but as soon as they reciprocated I stopped feeling any kind of romantic feelings towards them. Our brains work in mysterious ways 😂

Link to post
Share on other sites

@givememyname Wow! It's so funny how it's both comforting and a bit sad to find so many people that are going through the same frustrating feelings that I do. I mean, I had a successful "romance" in Grade Four, so there might be hope for us at some point? ^_^

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...