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Asexuality is a thing?


Tirisilex

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I've been running into people who haven't even got a clue that Asexuality is even a thing. I keep telling them that for me it means I don't find people sexually attractive and though, not true of every asexual, I'm sex repulsed. These people think that because I find a woman attractive it means I want to have sex with them. I've explained what Aesthetic attraction is but they say there is no such thing. They cant wrap their mind around the concept. I've met like 3 people who tried to tell me that If I find a woman attractive then I'm finding them sexually attractive. 

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I hate that when it happens. I explained to my two friends who are bi that I'm asexual and the entire simple definition of it. Turns out that I don't exist. "It's impossible to not want sex, asexuality doesn't exist" so i was like, "Great, thank you for your support" and we ended things there.

The other day one of them comes to me and is like: "I was in this chat discussing about sexualities and they said that asexuality is a thing" I wanted to rub it into her face, but I just grinned. I must admit that I felt...betrayed? like you believe a bunch of people who you see one time a year, but don't believe me? Oh, there were times were my classmates said that asexuality is stupid and that everyone should have sex... sometimes I'm reaally done with people.

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While it's true that asexuality is not well known it is a thing. As for these people not accepting aesthetic attraction, ask them, in a hypothetical way, if they find someone they know is attractive, esp. if the person is the opposite of their preference. If they say yes, ask them if they'd have sex with said person. If they say no, ask them why not, since being aesthitically attracted to someone means you want to have sex with them, right?

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Eh, some people expect everyone to live by the same rules they do.

 

In these rules, everyone has sex with everyone and eventually get married.

 

Kids are kind of optional, but there are expectations that everyone sooner or later will be a parent.

 

Generally I tend to not waste any time with people like this.

 

I respect there opinion, but I am not wasting time in an argument where their core belief that everyone has sex.

 

Lets be honest, how many movies and music perpetuate the theme of falling in love and having sex?

 

So I would suggest living your life, and let them live there's.

 

You are only accountable for your own mental and emotional well being.

 

Just my opinion though.

 

 

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Lucas Monteiro
22 minutes ago, Stray_Cat said:

I hate that when it happens. I explained to my two friends who are bi that I'm asexual and the entire simple definition of it. Turns out that I don't exist. "It's impossible to not want sex, asexuality doesn't exist" so i was like, "Great, thank you for your support" and we ended things there.

The other day one of them comes to me and is like: "I was in this chat discussing about sexualities and they said that asexuality is a thing" I wanted to rub it into her face, but I just grinned. I must admit that I felt...betrayed? like you believe a bunch of people who you see one time a year, but don't believe me? Oh, there were times were my classmates said that asexuality is stupid and that everyone should have sex... sometimes I'm reaally done with people.

For them to feel the same, you could talk to them how they would feel if you would say in their face that bisexuality doesn't exist and that you can't want sex with both men and women. It's really rude to say that to someone, even more when they are your friend and it's already expected that you somehow will show support for them. Some people can be really assholes, so at least those who you don't have a connection, I would say for you to not mind them otherwise you can go really mad with their ideas of how the world is supposed to work.

 

Stupid are the ones who without any knowledge and only looking through their point of view claim those arguments. You know what everyone should have ? A critical and logical thinking, knowing that their view on the world it's not an absolute truth.

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Sometimes it's best to learn their opinion on minority parts of the LGBT+ Community, in order to guess their reaction. 

It's always worse when they're part of the LGBT+ community, and completely hypocritical. I've honestly met a bi ftm who complains about being bullied for being bi and ftm, but he bullies non-binaries and pansexuals?!?  I was going to come out to them, and then I learnt their opinion. Nope, nu-uh. Not trying that one. 

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Lucas Monteiro
27 minutes ago, argar said:

Kids are kind of optional, but there are expectations that everyone sooner or later will be a parent.

I don't think it's optional, at least in the view of many people. I have already seen many people saying that if you are in your 30s and without no kids, you have a pathetic life and all of that just because you don't want to have children, the idea is just ridiculous. 

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Janus the Fox

Yeah some, probably still a majority find asexual differences still like an early stage of normal social development, and don't see that a cut off point, where romance or sexuality starts or ends.  In time, it'll be more accessible in understanding, hopefully.

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I also have one particular friend who can't grasp the concept of different kinds of attraction. If I admit to having a crush on someone he immediately thinks it means I'm not ace anymore. Or if I appreciate someone's legs or something, he goes : "I thought you didn't think about sex". No, buddy, I don't. But I can think people are cute or look good while still not wanting to bang them.

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I had a guy once tell me that I just "haven't tried enough, you just don't know what you like yet".

Ughhh, no, I'm not going to go and have random kinky sex just because you can't grasp the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to people. I'm not sex repulsed, but still, no. And I don't have to try certain things to know that I won't like them, it's like with a cactus. I know it will hurt if I hug a cactus, even without hugging said cactus.

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SaltySammy, I know what you mean I get that all the time... I said that a woman had a nice ass and the person I was with said: "I thought you don't find people sexually attractive." I had to explain aesthetic attraction and they still didn't understand. 

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