Am I asexual and am I normal?

[Starlight01]

I’ve just made this account cause I’ve been wondering for about a year if I might be asexual. So I’m a 16 year old girl that has thought about what sexuality and gender that might apply to her for some years. I’m also not a native english speaker and english is my second language so I apologize in advance if I don’t make sense. So firstly I have some questions about asexuality and I would love if someone could explain it to me as detailed as possibly. 

    So well my situation is that I think I always haven’t been that interested in sex and I find everything about it absolutely disgusting. I’m not sure why. Is this normal? Is this only because of the sex or also because of me not liking my body that much? I’ve been on different kinds of hormones for some years because I couldn’t handle my period, I have depression and it just made me hate life even more. I’m currently on a ”mini birth control” which is called Exlutena. Can this be the reason that I have remotely (I’m not sure) no sex drive? I’ve been taking medication like this for a few years (since maybe I was 13?) and I’m wondering if being on it for so long without a stop and in my teenage years could affect my sex drive this much. 

    Last week I was talking with my friends and I found out something that I didn’t know: they watch porn like maybe every other week and has been doing that since like around the start of their puberty. I’ve never watched porn and sex scenes in movies makes me uncomfortable. They also said that they do that because they get in the mood or are bored. I’m not 100% sure what’s up with me. 

    There’s probably more details that I forgot to talk about and feel free to ask. It’s also very hard to be completely sure what I really think and what’s really going on in my head

[Chimeric]

Welcome to AVEN! 

Your English is very good. =)

 

16 is still within the realm of normal to have not developed sexual attraction quite yet; I wasn't fully interested in sex until I was 18 (and I still don't watch porn on a regular basis a decade and change later- just not my cup of tea), and I have friends who didn't find themselves experiencing sexual attraction until they were in their early to mid-20's. It may just be that you haven't quite gotten there yet, and that's okay.

As far as your birth control medication - I'm not sure, but it would be a good question for your doctor! Don't be ashamed to ask, that's what they're there for. 

 

It may turn out, as you learn more about who you are and what you like, that you never develop sexual feelings or sexual attraction - and that's okay, too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, as the lovely community here will quickly demonstrate to you. =)

 

[Philip027]

Your English is better than that of many native English speakers, so don't even worry about that.

 

Quote

I’m currently on a ”mini birth control” which is called Exlutena. Can this be the reason that I have remotely (I’m not sure) no sex drive?

BC can affect that kind of thing, yeah, although I wouldn't know about that one.  Try google searching it (it can also tell you if that's just a brand name under another umbrella drug) and you can usually find potential side effects.

 

[Starlight01]

1 hour ago, OptimisticPessimist said:

Welcome .N

 

Not being interested in Sex is normal, many people, even those who aren't Ace aren't as interested as others may be and it is normal.  Tablets can affect sex drive, but you can still identify as Asexual if you feel that's what you are. It may be that it's because it's sex and it's something that you say your repulsed by but it's something that only you can know for sure. You may find this section useful.

 

 

Awe thanks!

Thank you, I will think about it and I will read the article. Also I couldn’t help but notice your pfp, do you like kpop?

[Starlight01]

1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

Your English is better than that of many native English speakers, so don't even worry about that.

 

BC can affect that kind of thing, yeah, although I wouldn't know about that one.  Try google searching it (it can also tell you if that's just a brand name under another umbrella drug) and you can usually find potential side effects.

 

Oh really? Thank you! 

I think it’s called Lynestrenol, I’m guessing Exlutena might be a swedish brand and it’s probably therefor you haven’t heard of it. It says it can affect your sex drive, but do you think it can affect it this much?

[Starlight01]

1 hour ago, Chimeric said:

Welcome to AVEN! 

Your English is very good. =)

 

16 is still within the realm of normal to have not developed sexual attraction quite yet; I wasn't fully interested in sex until I was 18 (and I still don't watch porn on a regular basis a decade and change later- just not my cup of tea), and I have friends who didn't find themselves experiencing sexual attraction until they were in their early to mid-20's. It may just be that you haven't quite gotten there yet, and that's okay.

As far as your birth control medication - I'm not sure, but it would be a good question for your doctor! Don't be ashamed to ask, that's what they're there for. 

 

It may turn out, as you learn more about who you are and what you like, that you never develop sexual feelings or sexual attraction - and that's okay, too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, as the lovely community here will quickly demonstrate to you. =)

 

Thank you so much

Also thank you for this information, I’m gonna think about it, it’s nice to get to hear other people’s situations. 

Thank you and I can already tell that this is a nice site and I’m glad I found it and made an account!

[Starlight01]

@OptimisticPessimist thank you and yay, me too.

 

[Philip027]

Quote

I think it’s called Lynestrenol, I’m guessing Exlutena might be a swedish brand and it’s probably therefor you haven’t heard of it. It says it can affect your sex drive, but do you think it can affect it this much?

I don't really know of any particular BC names, but that's probably on account of me being a guy

 

Anything that affects the hormones can potentially mess with your sex drive, and from accounts I've heard, some BCs can absolutely kill some people's sex drive.  The thing is, it's harder to tell if you never really experienced sex drive before to begin with.

[Guest]

31 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

some BCs can absolutely kill some people's sex drive. 

Yep, I've known sooooo many people who went on birth control and almost instantly stopped wanting sex after previously having been pretty sexually enthusiastic (hence the need for birth control). We were even joking that that's the real reason birth control works.. there's nothing special in it to stop the babies, you just don't want sex anymore while you're on it so won't get pregnant! haha (That's not actually how they work by the way, for anyone reading this who might take me seriously), it's just something I've joked about with friends who lost their sex drive as soon as they went on birth control (that's whether they took the pill. had the injection, or had that rod thing in their arm)

[uhtred]

2 hours ago, Starlight01 said:

Oh really? Thank you! 

I think it’s called Lynestrenol, I’m guessing Exlutena might be a swedish brand and it’s probably therefor you haven’t heard of it. It says it can affect your sex drive, but do you think it can affect it this much?

For some women, some birth control can have a HUGE effect on sex drive - in some cases killing it completely.  Same for some anti-depressants. Medical science really doesn't do a good job of tracking these problems because they don't result in death, just miserable people.  It really pisses me off because there are people whose lives have been ruined by this. 

 

I would suggest getting off of all medication that isn't necessary for your health.  Then of course without BC if you do develop sexual interests you need to be extremely careful about pregnancy until you find BC that doesn't have that effect. 

 

Of course it might not be medications, it might just be how you are wired and that is fine too. I just think its important to be sure that what you feel is really *you* and not some drug reaction. 

[Janus the Fox]

Feel free to ask as many questions across the site, it'll be answered usually very quickly.

 

Both a-sex and sexuality is often very normal, of course though, local cultures will have a different viewpoint on sexuality in general.  The sexuality cultures across Europe varies, depending where you are.

[bee3]

Your English is great! Much better than my Chinese...

You sound asexual. If you really think the pills have an effect, just ask your doctor!

[everywhere and nowhere]

I don't know much about birth control, I've never used it. But while it can affect a person's libido, I don't think it can make anyone uncomfortable about sex. This is already a feeling external to low libido itself and the two together may indicate asexuality more strongly than either one in isolation (but still, they also may not).

Also remember that even if your feelings were induced by an identifiable factor, they aren't "ungenuine" and you have a right to self-identify as you choose and to explore your thoughtfeeling.

[Starlight01]

On 2018-02-18 at 11:22 PM, Janus DarkFox said:

Feel free to ask as many questions across the site, it'll be answered usually very quickly.

 

Both a-sex and sexuality is often very normal, of course though, local cultures will have a different viewpoint on sexuality in general.  The sexuality cultures across Europe varies, depending where you are.

I will, thank you^^

 

I live in Sweden. Yeah and I’m scared thay I in the future won’t be able to find someone who is content with a relationship without sex, which makes me scared. I don’t want to be alone forever.

[Starlight01]

On 2018-02-19 at 4:26 AM, meepbee said:

Your English is great! Much better than my Chinese...

You sound asexual. If you really think the pills have an effect, just ask your doctor!

Haha thank you, I’m sure that with practice you will become better, I’m cheering for you!

Yeah I probably should, but I’m way too scared to ask that...

[Starlight01]

On 2018-02-19 at 8:10 AM, Nowhere Girl said:

I don't know much about birth control, I've never used it. But while it can affect a person's libido, I don't think it can make anyone uncomfortable about sex. This is already a feeling external to low libido itself and the two together may indicate asexuality more strongly than either one in isolation (but still, they also may not).

Also remember that even if your feelings were induced by an identifiable factor, they aren't "ungenuine" and you have a right to self-identify as you choose and to explore your thoughtfeeling.

Hmm that’s interesting and thank you for the last part, I’m scared to identify myself openly to anyone, not even my friends, both because they probably will treat me differently and because I’m not sure of my identity.