Aesir Code Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Honestly I just created an account, and am starting this thread to just put myself out there. I don't know much about my asexuality or what spectrum I'm on, but I decided to take the plunge and hopefully find out more about myself and others. In my experience It's a pipe dream to hope to find "the one" whose ok with no or little sex, but still enjoys romance. But I won't stop trying! Being alone is something I'm good at but don't enjoy. So I guess to wrap this up, since I'm not saying anything really lol. But what are some of your experiences? Have/can other issues contributed to your asexuality? (I have intense anxiety panic OCD 😅, didn't know if that could have influenced me). Anyway thanks for reading! It's nice meeting you ps. Im a 25 year old male, who loves books, and a vast amount of other things such as music, lifting, anime, camping and writing poems. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello again @Aesir Code, there is no problem with not knowing too much about asexuality or what spectrum you are right now, because there is a lot of resources around here at AVEN for you to find and learn more about it. I know that sometimes it seems a distance dream to find someone to be okay without sex in a romantic relationship, but there is always hope and you can end finding someone that will love you and won't care for sex, so do just as you said, don't stop trying. I believe some experiences can contribute or enhance the way you feel about your a/sexuality, but them to create it's not possible. There is always more on the equation after looking for a couple of times, and you may see that the influences will only do as what they are meant and have an impact/affect but they can't change you in your own core. So, in my opinion you would still be asexual even if you wouldn't have anxiety panic OCD, but I don't own the truth. So who knows, but the most important it's that you are here and discovering more about yourself, no matter what. Some links that can be useful for you : http://wiki.asexuality.org/Asexuality http://wiki.asexuality.org/Romantic_attraction http://wiki.asexuality.org/Romantic_orientation Link to post Share on other sites
Aesir Code Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 @Lucas Monteiro hello again and thanks for the warm welcome and advice. Once I'm done writing this I'll check out those links. In such a hyper sexual world we live in, it just feels weird or embarrassing when everyone around you is looking to "get some" except yourself. I guess I'm technically still in closet about that 😅 What you say makes sense about them not creating it, and maybe only influencing my views on it. Hopefully me coming here will help, and although I only have my limited experience hopefuls I can help someone too. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Aesir Code said: @Lucas Monteiro hello again and thanks for the warm welcome and advice. Once I'm done writing this I'll check out those links. In such a hyper sexual world we live in, it just feels weird or embarrassing when everyone around you is looking to "get some" except yourself. I guess I'm technically still in closet about that 😅 What you say makes sense about them not creating it, and maybe only influencing my views on it. Hopefully me coming here will help, and although I only have my limited experience hopefuls I can help someone too. It's truly hard to live in a hypersexual world, where if we don't want sex we are broken or we have to get more to be happy about it, but there is still hope when we find that some people don't care for sex and know it doesn't need to be the most important thing in a relationship. And there is no problem still being in the closet, it's difficult to talk about but take your time if you want to be open and everything will find it's way. If you want to talk more, you can PM me. I know that while discovering asexuality, it not only opens a door to another sexual orientation, it opens to thousand of possible romantic orientations and it's truly wonderful but at the same time somehow scary. Link to post Share on other sites
Aesir Code Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 @Lucas Monteiro It's like you know exactly what I'm thinking 😅. Feeling broken is the best way to put it, for me that is. And yeah I'll stick to the closet for now until I figure myself out more. i really do appreciate your welcome, advice, and offer of help. I'll probably take you up on that offer. Do you mind if I follow you as well? Link to post Share on other sites
mak Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Aww, I just want to give you a hug! I felt that way when I first started but talking with others on here really helped me feel like I am not as alone and broken as I thought. Hope you like it here! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Welcome! It's not a pipe dream to find someone where doesn't want sex but wants a romantic relationship. You've just joined a community with a lot of people who want that kind of relationship. You can go to meetups and events, and meet people in your local area. You can chat with others with similar beliefs online. It's not a pipe dream, you're one step closer to achieving it Link to post Share on other sites
lucyrose_x Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 8 hours ago, Aesir Code said: Honestly I just created an account, and am starting this thread to just put myself out there. I don't know much about my asexuality or what spectrum I'm on, but I decided to take the plunge and hopefully find out more about myself and others. In my experience It's a pipe dream to hope to find "the one" whose ok with no or little sex, but still enjoys romance. But I won't stop trying! Being alone is something I'm good at but don't enjoy. So I guess to wrap this up, since I'm not saying anything really lol. But what are some of your experiences? Have/can other issues contributed to your asexuality? (I have intense anxiety panic OCD 😅, didn't know if that could have influenced me). Anyway thanks for reading! It's nice meeting you ps. Im a 25 year old male, who loves books, and a vast amount of other things such as music, lifting, anime, camping and writing poems. Welcome! your situation sounds very similar to mine! I'm new too and trying to figure everything out! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 9 hours ago, Aesir Code said: @Lucas Monteiro It's like you know exactly what I'm thinking 😅. Feeling broken is the best way to put it, for me that is. And yeah I'll stick to the closet for now until I figure myself out more. i really do appreciate your welcome, advice, and offer of help. I'll probably take you up on that offer. Do you mind if I follow you as well? I'm happy to know that you appreciate my advice and help. I don't mind at all, if you want to follow me you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
Ffyhdry Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hey there and welcome!! I hope your finding yourself journey is going well I'm not 100% certain on this but I think I'm quite affected by anxiety and major depressive disorder in terms of connecting with people and stuff, but who knows! I'm hoping to find an answer in a book some day soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Aesir Code Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 I seriously want to thank everyone for the warm welcome! And the cake! (For once the cake wasn't a lie lol). @mak (virtual hugs still count!) I'm glad to have found this place and hope I can interact with others, and not feel broken as well! @Lichley Your words really do encourage! I'm just afraid there won't be that many meet ups or others near me with similar beliefs 😅 (I live borderline rural area). But hopefully with some effort and luck I'll find some! @lucyrose_x Aww I'm sorry your in a similar position! But hey at least we discovered this place and am making a starting point for us to be happy, and discover ourselves! I'll send out the good vibes for us both! @Lucas Monteiro Thanks man! I may be wrong but you seem like mister miyagi lol (I definitely spelled that wrong) @.Lia Thank you for the information, if I need help admods are the first I'll go too! @Princess Merida That cake looks really good, and enough for everyone too! Thank you for the welcome, I hope to make friends with everyone here 😁 @binlass Aww I'm so sorry to hear that! I honestly wouldn't wish anxiety on my worst enemy! Im not a doctor but if you need to talk about it I've plenty of experience with those disorders 😅. If I find any books that may be insightful I'll let you know. I'll send some good vibes for you too, and hope you can overcome and connect with others! It means a lot to me that you guys welcomed me, and I'm sorry if my messages seemed short! Not going to lie I was almost a little overwhelmed and nervous on replying! But I really do appreciate it, and if anyone would still like to talk, or follow each other I'd be more than happy to! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 20 minutes ago, Aesir Code said: @Lucas Monteiro Thanks man! I may be wrong but you seem like mister miyagi lol (I definitely spelled that wrong) I'm honored that you think that, but I'm just a simple human being. No better or worst than anybody, learning more each day with my own flaws. And it's good to know that you feel really welcomed, this community it's very open to new people and I'm proud to be part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ev13 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Welcome fellow newbie! I've been pondering that very same question, if anxiety has contributed to my asexuality. But on the other hand it might be the other way as well, living in a hypersexual age and not really relating to it and/or understanding it might contribute to anxiety. I don't think that they cause each other, but possibly crank it up a notch. I think pretty much the only thing to do is to keep reading, discussing and searching for answers, hoping to connect the dots and figuring yourself out and seems like you are well on your way in that path. Hopefully you find your answers and in the meantime, keep lifting! Link to post Share on other sites
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