When is the right time to tell a potential partner that you're asexual?

[sk8ergrandma]

I've been speaking to someone online lately and I really like him but I can't decide when I should tell him that I'm asexual.

We haven't met yet so I'm not sure whether to mention it beforehand or after we've met a couple of times,  does anyone have any advice?

 

Thanks!

[Tercy]

As early as possible, perhaps? So you're not wasting anyone's time by withholding important information that could potentially be a non-negotiable dealbreaker?

[Yeast]

I don't know. There was a dating service I used named "Hello Cupid". I described myself as asexual although the site cautioned me against it. Several women did reply but I never met them. I suppose they read what I had written about myself and decided I wasn't worth knowing. It seems logical to be as honest as possible but sometimes I think I should have not admitted my asexuality immediately. It would have given each of us a chance to get to know one another. There is a lot more in a relationship than sex. Unfortunately some don't seem to realize this. Here's hoping we both find suitable partners. 

[DayDreamer~]

Usually I wait first to see how our compatibility is in the beginning for maybe the first week or two, and if things seem like they could go well, I tell them about my asexuality before we go any further. I think it best to get to know them a bit first because I think having  a connection helps later on to discuss things, and plus I don't want them to think of me only for my asexuality. I want them to get to know my personality, and then they can decide if me being Ace is enough of a reason to not try a relationship.

 

Wishing you all the best! (^-^)/

[Chimeric]

My partner told me before we started dating, though after we had been talking for a while - I strongly advocate for this approach. =)

 

I knew him well enough to know that I was already head over heels for him, but I also had an idea of what to expect before entering into an "official" relationship with him. 

 

If you tell the person before you start dating, that gives you both an "out" without anyone really getting hurt - I mean, it would suck if he ghosted on you, but it would suck less than it would in the context of a dating relationship. Upside, if he doesn't ghost on you, you can take his interest in you seriously, and navigate it from there.

 

Good luck! =) 

[everywhere and nowhere]

When I was trying to find a partner, I explicitly wrote "asexual" in my ad title. So that everyone knows beforehand what to expect.

However, it doesn't really work for me. I learned that I can't develop feelings for someone so quickly, I need to know a person well. And now there is one particular woman I'm interested about and I want to be able to see her more often... So I'm not looking for anyone else right now.

[Guest]

How difficult will it be to meet? How long will it take to do? 

 

If it's a case of "I met someone on OKCupid and we live in the same city, but no dates as of yet"... I think it's OK to go on 1-2 dates and see if you get along in person before having the talk.

 

If it's a case of they're far away, you've been talking for months and  meeting up will be a bit of a travel (and some money) then tell them ASAP. It's easy to get deeply emotionally invested even before meeting and it's not fair for them to get to that point before knowing such a huge potential deal breaker.