Demisexaul partner help

[OwO]

I'm really sorry to have to ask this but my girlfriend who I love so much is demisexual after dating for a while lost her demi but after a while she said she was regaining her demi for me I'm really scared I don't want this relationship to end what if she doesn't want to date me after a while how can I help her lose her demi for me again I really don't want this relationship to end I love her so much I'm really scared please help me

[Philip027]

If you stop to breathe and maybe use some periods and actual sentences, maybe you can better communicate exactly why you think your relationship is in any danger, because as it is now, I'm not getting it.

 

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I'm really sorry to have to ask this but my girlfriend who I love so much is demisexual after dating for a while lost her demi but after a while she said she was regaining her demi for me

I don't think one or both of you understands here.  "Demi" is not just something you put on and take off like a glove when it's convenient.

[Marlow1]

On 17 February 2018 at 3:00 AM, OwO said:

I'm really sorry to have to ask this but my girlfriend who I love so much is demisexual after dating for a while lost her demi but after a while she said she was regaining her demi for me I'm really scared I don't want this relationship to end what if she doesn't want to date me after a while how can I help her lose her demi for me again I really don't want this relationship to end I love her so much I'm really scared please help me

In your post you do not state if you are a man or a woman. But you did say your partner is female. I raise this point because what I am about to say is from a male demisexuals perspective who has a female partner who is a sexual. The gender does naturally have some influence too, in addition to the Demisexuality I mean, in regards to how we respond to sexuality and our partner. Nonetheless though some of this here what I am saying could apply to you both as a couple

 

I am demisexual which means that when I meet a person for the first time it is impossible for me to know if or how I might get attracted to them. It is only over time, once I really know somebody that I might get attracted and only if that person meets certain requirements that I have, which again I did not even know what they were until all this happened to me. Through therapy we realised these things include, similar intellectual level, similar outlook, family orientated, fun loving and so on

 

The more that I could enjoy the many aspects of my partner the more attracted I became. Don't get me wrong this is not a pass or fail test, I don't demand she meets my criteria, and this does not have to be constant, but generally as we have grown into each other the more attracted I have become over the years. Plus as you may already understand, it is next to impossible for me to become attracted to anybody else because whilst in this happy relationship there would be no desire whatsoever for me to seek sexual or even romantic relationship elsewhere

 

Sounds great, I know, but there is just one snag, stress can make me loose my attraction and/or towards my partner. Not the love, I always love her but when we have a lot of stress then I struggle to feel attracted, it is like it is just not there and so in our case this is where we prioritise when taking care of the relationship, so to speak. We make sure our stress levels are low, and so that we can both enjoy the characteristics that we find appealing in each other, (the stuff I mentioned earlier and more), we actively work at keeping the relationship romantic. Deliberately doing  the things we both love together, making time for these things, scheduling these things really has helped too

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

I think if your partner is comfortable talking to you about her change in attraction that is a sign that she may want to work things through together so maybe the best thing to do is explain you concerns to her and ask for clarification on how she wants to handle things moving forward