Micch Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hi everyone, I'm a 26 years old ace, possibly demi. English is not my first language so I apologise in advance for any mistake. I've found out about asexuality and this website for the first time last year. It was so great, everything suddenly made sense and I felt so relieved. Honestly, I would have never thought to be so happy to find a label to describe myself with. I've never liked labels but I was unknowingly using several already , like“late bloomer”, “weird”, “different”. A dear friend of mine called me that same day and I immediately came out to her, I was so excited...but her reaction was such a put off, something like “don't you dare say something like that! You just have to find the right guy”. I was so disappointed, I swear I can remember even now how quickly my happiness crumbled. She did manage to convince me though and since then I went to several dates, none worked. Every time a boy would kiss me I would be bored and mildly grossed out, but I kept trying because I kept saying to myself “you will find one that will work eventually”. Recently I dated a guy that lasted longer than a couple of dinners, guess what, it didn't work, but it made me realise I do like companionship, cuddling, sharing experiences...but that sex is really something that doesn't belong to me, at all. And so I'm back to this website, I've singed in and I'm posting this introduction...I should have done this a year ago, but now I'm sure about what I am, and next time I'll come out I won't let someone else tell me otherwise. (Although it will be really hard to come out...and I'm not sure when I'll find the courage to do it, but I'll try). Thanks for reading this Link to post Share on other sites
hopeisnotlost Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Welcome! Just outta curiosity what is your native tongue? Link to post Share on other sites
StreetlightDawn Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Welcome! I'm so sorry your friend had such a negative reaction to you coming out, my heart sank a bit for you reading that. But I'm glad you're here now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Welcome! I'm sorry to hear that your friend put you down like that, it wasn't very supportive of her, but maybe she is just uninformed on the subject, and only wants what she thinks is best for you. Try explaining it to her, show her the website and some links to try to help her understand the situation. And don't force yourself to date if you don't want to. If you're not into kissing you shouldn't mKe yourself do it because it's what's expected, you should do it because that's what you want to do. It's your body and your choice! Link to post Share on other sites
Micch Posted February 17, 2018 Author Share Posted February 17, 2018 Thanks for the support <3 Back then I wasn't really prepared to argue on this, everything was just too fresh, I lacked the confidence to do it. Now I know better, also I won't force myself to do anything I don't want to. Though, I don't regret having tried, even if I had to force myself and wasn't always pleasant. At least I've collected enough data I can now use to support my argument. Ps: I'm Italian Link to post Share on other sites
Aesir Code Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 I'm sorry about your friends reaction, but I'm sure she meant it in a way as to not give up on finding someone. She probobaly thought you gave up and didn't know your seriousness. I'm sorry about your dates as well but hey at least you know what not to do now right? ps. Love Italy, have family there we went to visit years ago. Probably the highlight of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Micch Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 Thanks you lovely humans! 18 hours ago, Aesir Code said: I'm sorry about your friends reaction, but I'm sure she meant it in a way as to not give up on finding someone. She probobaly thought you gave up and didn't know your seriousness. I'm sorry about your dates as well but hey at least you know what not to do now right? ps. Love Italy, have family there we went to visit years ago. Probably the highlight of my life. I love her, I know she definitely didn't mean to hurt me or anything, she just has a really fierce attitude sometimes, the kind I-know-what's-best-for-you a mother could have. I'll try explain things properly in the future, for now I'm satisfied with keeping her posted on the sad cases I've been dating without any reference to my lack of sexual drive. I'm glad you liked Italy! There is plenty of things to see (and eat) so you better come back to pay your family another visit in the near future Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
Aesir Code Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 8 hours ago, Micch said: Thanks you lovely humans! I love her, I know she definitely didn't mean to hurt me or anything, she just has a really fierce attitude sometimes, the kind I-know-what's-best-for-you a mother could have. I'll try explain things properly in the future, for now I'm satisfied with keeping her posted on the sad cases I've been dating without any reference to my lack of sexual drive. I'm glad you liked Italy! There is plenty of things to see (and eat) so you better come back to pay your family another visit in the near future Lol sounds like a good friend to have if you're ever in a scrap 😂 I think that's a good stratagem to take. Figure out exactly how to explain and prepare yourself for any questions before approaching it again. And just let her stew about the no sex stories lol. I'm sorry they've all been sad cases though! Thank you! The visit was amazing and we traveled and I saw so many thing I only dreamed of seeing! (Major history buff, and Italy being a massive part of history is like the motherload lol) don't even get me started on the food 😋. I've wanted to go back! Once I scrounge up the change, time, and plans it's defenitly going to happen! And I know my family is all thinking the same thing 😁. Link to post Share on other sites
Micch Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 14 hours ago, Aesir Code said: Lol sounds like a good friend to have if you're ever in a scrap 😂 I think that's a good stratagem to take. Figure out exactly how to explain and prepare yourself for any questions before approaching it again. And just let her stew about the no sex stories lol. I'm sorry they've all been sad cases though! Thank you! The visit was amazing and we traveled and I saw so many thing I only dreamed of seeing! (Major history buff, and Italy being a massive part of history is like the motherload lol) don't even get me started on the food 😋. I've wanted to go back! Once I scrounge up the change, time, and plans it's defenitly going to happen! And I know my family is all thinking the same thing 😁. What can I say, I attract weirdos (and I'm supposed to be the weird one). Even those who weren't quite sad cases did manage to provide me with a good amount of funny stories to tell. Definitely going to let her stew, she will probably realise it by herself without me telling her anything explicitly. I don't want to brag too much about my country...but Italian history covers such a long time , artistically speaking, you can go from ancient roman ruins to medieval castles, renaissance paintings all in one city. I don't think I'll ever manage to visit all of it...and I've been living here fro 26 years. When you'll manage to organize another family reunion you can resume that endless journey into history Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Welcome! I hope that your time here is as insightful as it has been for me! Link to post Share on other sites
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