Milk Egg

So, fetishes...

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Milk Egg

Back in 2015, a teenager me came here on AVEN really conflicted, because teenager me barely accepted the fact they weren't heterosexual, and quickly went to the ''I think I'm just a weird bisexual'' phase of their life (note=I would never classify someone as ''a weird bisexual'' nowadays, I just didn't know how to express myself). Teenager me fully accepted the fact that they didn't feel ''normal'' sexual attraction but, alongside not even knowing the term ''romantic orientation'', there was something that gave them a truckload of self-doubt: they knew that they were really into something. Since they were 9.

 

Nowadays, although I identify as gray-ace due to that, I just call myself asexual, not only because no one will ever know that I can feel sexual attraction towards a extremely specific type of thing unless I go out of my way to give them context (or someone shows some ''cringy art they found on DeviantArt'' and happen to notice my reaction), but mostly because I am a perfect strawman to stupid aphobes, since ''you aren't asexual, you just don't like regular sex but still feels attraction, which proves that every single asexual is just like you and asexuality is unnexistent ! *cliché villain laughter* '' (Oh, yes, of course, I'm not asexual, I'm just macrosexual, it's not like that's the reason why the term fetish even exists, right ?).

 

So, it feels quite nice to say this. Not that I would like to say this anywhere else, for the reason that I mentioned earlier, but because  there might be someone here that can relate to this, and maybe even stop torturing themselves with the thought of ''but I'm not actually ace''.

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FictoVore.

out of interest, if you're not actually necessarily asexual (more, functionally asexual by circumstance, or maybe involuntarily celibate would be a better term) why is it worse for you to say 'I'm bisexual (or hetero or whatever), I'm just not interested in dating right now'' as opposed to saying you're asexual which will bring a lot more questions and doubt your way? Some people really want to drill someone who IDs as ace to find out why they're ace, how much sex they've had, were they abused?, do they masturbate? etc etc. When on the flip-side, most people get it if you say you're hetero (or whatever), but you're too busy to date/want to lose some weight before you date/are waiting to finish your education before you date/waiting for the right person.. etc etc.

 

I also googled macrosexual and some of the responses on the first page of results were: very sexual person attraction to almost all animate objects, someone attracted to very large people, and someone attracted to very small people (tiny dwarfs).. which one are you? :o

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Nanoic

Is that attraction to giants or adipophilia which is attraction to soft people?

It's perfectly normal for asexuals to have fetishes. I'm ace and I like larger people, they're great to hug!

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Milk Egg
3 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

out of interest, if you're not actually necessarily asexual (more, functionally asexual by circumstance, or maybe involuntarily celibate would be a better term) why is it worse for you to say 'I'm bisexual (or hetero or whatever), I'm just not interested in dating right now'' as opposed to saying you're asexual which will bring a lot more questions and doubt your way? Some people really want to drill someone who IDs as ace to find out why they're ace, how much sex they've had, were they abused?, do they masturbate? etc etc. When on the flip-side, most people get it if you say you're hetero (or whatever), but you're too busy to date/want to lose some weight before you date/are waiting to finish your education before you date/waiting for the right person.. etc etc.

 

I also googled macrosexual and some of the responses on the first page of results were: very sexual person attraction to almost all animate objects, someone attracted to very large people, and someone attracted to very small people (tiny dwarfs).. which one are you? :o

I think you didn't understand my post. At all.

 

I'm literally not capable of feeling sexual attraction towards anything unless there is macrophilia in it (thus the ''macrosexual'' joke), and I only feel attraction to the person due to their height, the situation doesn't even have to be ''sexual'', and the person doesn't have to show any ''attractive'' body parts.

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Milk Egg
3 hours ago, Whaley said:

Is that attraction to giants or adipophilia which is attraction to soft people?

It's perfectly normal for asexuals to have fetishes. I'm ace and I like larger people, they're great to hug!

Giants are the reason why I questioned my sexual orientation twice, and this sentence itself makes me feel silly.

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FictoVore.
17 minutes ago, Milk Egg said:

I think you didn't understand my post. At all.

 

I'm literally not capable of feeling sexual attraction towards anything unless there is macrophilia in it (thus the ''macrosexual'' joke), and I only feel attraction to the person due to their height, the situation doesn't even have to be ''sexual'', and the person doesn't have to show any ''attractive'' body parts.

I wasn't arguing about your asexuality or lack thereof (you're saying you fetishize tall height, right? So for example, would you desire sexual intimacy with a woman who is 6.5? If it's just the height you like but totally not interested in sex  with anyone even if they're 7 foot tall then I agree, that's asexual. And I understand the idea of being attracted to height itself, I find very short women automatically attractive regardless of what they look like - no interest in having sex with them though lol).. but I just sometimes see people saying 'its easier to say I'm asexual' and I was legitimately interested to know why people never go in the *other* direction of just saying they're sexual only because that really would be the *easiest* way out of it. Just saying "I'm sexual but not interested in dating right now" would get a lot less personal questions and attempts to 'cure' you etc than saying "I'm asexual". That's what I was asking.

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Nanoic

In that case you should watch End of Evangelion.

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Milk Egg
3 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

I wasn't arguing about your asexuality or lack thereof (you're saying you fetishize tall height, right? So for example, would you desire sexual intimacy with a woman who is 6.5? If it's just the height you like but totally not interested in sex  with anyone even if they're 7 foot tall then I agree, that's asexual. And I understand the idea of being attracted to height itself, I find very short women automatically attractive regardless of what they look like - no interest in having sex with them though lol).. but I just sometimes see people saying 'its easier to say I'm asexual' and I was legitimately interested to know why people never go in the *other* direction of just saying they're sexual only because that really would be the *easiest* way out of it. Just saying "I'm sexual but not interested in dating right now" would get a lot less personal questions and attempts to 'cure' you etc than saying "I'm asexual". That's what I was asking.

Yep, that's it. I feel sexual attraction to people's height, regardless of their gender, but even when I do, I feel no desire for sex whatsoever, I'm literally just attracted by their height and nothing else.

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Nanoic

I find unusually tall people attractive too. Out of curiosity how tall are you?

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Cnyb

This is one reason why, for me, three questions are important for probing limited sexuality:

 

* would you be upset if you never had sex again

* would you be upset if your partner said they never wanted to have sex again

* do you identify as sexual?

 

Because there's something to NOT identifying as sexual.  Someone who answers no to all three, there's something very different going on with them than with ordinary sexual people.  Maybe some would call some gray-a or gray-sexual, but what's so sexual if they answer no to all of theses?  If someone has a strong fetish to the point where they don't identify as sexual, are relieved to have a partner who doesn't want to have sex, and are fine not ever having sex again, not upset, that does say something.

 

There are people who would insist that masturbating in the presence of someone, or while cuddling someone and focusing upon some fetish with them, is sexual, but if it were the only sexual activity, what sexual person would call it 'having sex'?

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Milk Egg
3 minutes ago, Whaley said:

I find unusually tall people attractive too. Out of curiosity how tall are you?

6'3, ironically. 

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Nanoic

So do you prefer to be shorter and be around taller people? I'm 1.8m.

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Milk Egg
Just now, Whaley said:

So do you prefer to be shorter and be around taller people? I'm 1.8m.

Yep, although it usually doesn't happen. I'm 1.93m,  by the way, I think that is equivalent to 6'3 ?

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Nanoic

 The first guy I dated was super tall.

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Milk Egg
5 minutes ago, Whaley said:

 The first guy I dated was super tall.

My first date happened pretty much because we had similar interests, she found me cute, and I found her tall.

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Cnyb

FWIW, some people have a thing with the fantasy of being stomped by a giant.

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Lost247365

It took me months and months to come finally accept that I was asexual.  Part of that was that I did have attractions to other people, but zero desire for sex.    But another part of it was that I had a fetish.  It was a transformation fetish and really wasn't about sex but it made it so hard to say I was an asexual without feeling like a fraud.

In time, I got to the point where I was able to say, "I don't desire to have sex with other people no matter what.  I don't care what others think I am asexual."  But I had a ton of self doubt until I reached that point.  But asexuality is simply about lack of sexual desire and/or attraction and our kinks don't figure into that equation at all.

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ZzedTheGrammarPunisher

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Jusey1

Personally, any Asexual person can have fetishes. I personally have a thing for hypnosis (for reasons completely unknown to me). However, I'm still flat-out Asexual since sex itself still disgusts me, and I feel no attraction to anyone's bodies. I just have a kink.

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