Tips for culture shocks?

[Grumpy Alien]

Weird and random thread but I’ve been having daily culture shocks about stupid and minor things that are different here. It seems to annoy both myself and everyone around me. But it happens all the time.

 

Does anyone have experience with moving to another country or differences in culture at home? How did/do you handle it? How do you adapt? Do you completely assimilate or compromise? Do you struggle to not comment or ask seemingly stupid questions like I do that just annoy everyone? How do you get people to be understanding? How do you understand a different culture better?

 

Any and all tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to tell stories. I’m struggling and feel alone in this when I know it’s actually very common.

[Extroverted Introvert]

I spent a summer in a different country. I didn't speak the language but stayed with a family who was completely bilingual. My advice is to actually keep asking questions. If asked at the right time and phrased in the right way, I think questions show that you are interested in learning and interested in the different culture that you now find yourself. Asking questions might also save you from embarrassing yourself later down the road. If you feel that your questions might be getting annoying, maybe just cut back on the questions. Ask the "bigger questions." Some questions (like the seemingly stupid ones) can be saved and Googled later.

 

I think the biggest thing to remember when trying to assimilate to a different culture is reminding yourself that the way you grew up doing things wasn't necessarily the "right" way to do things. Many things don't have a "right" or "wrong" way to do things. Watch the way that people in this new culture do things and try to do it that way. Be flexible and willing to adjust. Be receptive to feedback you might get.

 

For me, one of the biggest differences was table manners. I dreaded meals for the longest time because I was terrified of doing things wrong. I often did make mistakes and people would often correct me or remind me of things. There were things that I thought were so silly at first, but I realized that it was just different. And there was even a very logical reason that things were done that way. Don't beat yourself up when you make mistakes. Just try to do better. People usually will respect the effort.

[Guest]

I have traveled around a good portion of the globe, and have experienced both culture shock, and the hardest for me, was the reverse culture shock upon returning home (after allowing myself to fully assimilate somewhere).

 

I usually check my own culture at the door, and try to approach the new one with a fully opened mind. Doesn't mean I will support something I'm against, but I will try to at least understand why they do it, before passing any judgment on it.

 

I try not to stress about learning everything at once, and try to figure things out as I go.

 

I.E Taking the public transit in England, vs Canada and say, China, Japan and the like will take some getting used to. I tend to be very observant of others in such settings, and follow suit to avoid looking like a moron. Biggest culture shock, was taking a Jeepney in the Philippines.

 

Completely clueless to their culture, so I just youtubed it. Learned major no-no's culturally, and even how to pay and ask to get off. People would ask if I was a local, so looks like I did a good job. I'd even communicate in the local tongue. I'd learn basic communication, to make it as easy as possible for those who'd likely struggle with my Canadian accent. 

 

In Japan, it was learning the bowing culture they have there. Also how their family culture is. The food, etc. Same thing. I'll respect your culture, and will bow.

 

In England, the major learning for me, was the slang. Same with anywhere else in the UK. That was a major struggle, and quite humbling in some places where I'd outright struggle to understand people.

 

I tried blending in, but still kept a part of myself in the mix. I.E I love rollerblading. I was residing in Birkenhead, while working nearby. Apparently, rollerblades were a huge deal, as I'd be dropping jaws, and people would literally slam on the brakes to talk to me while driving. I play hockey, so I guess they had never seen someone skilled rollerblading before, as you'd only see kids stumbling about on rollerskates. I knew it would make me stand out, but did not expect the level of attention I got from it. It was uncomfortable at first, but then just tuned it out and did my thing.

 

Knowledge is power. If you're unsure of something and don't want to ask--google and youtube are often your best friends.

[Chibe90]

Half my family is from a culture totally foreign to me. It is a very male dominated culture, males are head of the household and women have to largely fall in line. Of course being from the west, I am not going to be respectful of that which is a point of contention with some of the males in my family. Here is a true story of my last visit. I recently visited the country and a female member of my family was being abused by her husband, I don't know what possessed me but I decided that this was my raison d'etre. One by one I went to each of her uncles to ask how she could go about getting a divorce and each told me that this was impossible, she had to stay in the marriage and figure out the reason her husband was beating her. One even admitted to me that he himself beat his wife, this bowled me over but I kept my tongue (a bit of a coward eh). In the end she wasn't able to get a divorce but I was able to pester her dad into removing her from the house.

 

I am the youngest of four siblings, in that society, the elder sibling dictates to the younger and younger one complies. I have often gotten into hiccups with my sister for not showing her what she believes to be the proper respect. But I find it difficult to jump just because someone was born a few years before me. However I try to be mindful, and if the request isn't too ridiculous I tend to comply with what my siblings ask.

 

One of the quickest way to assimilate though is trying the local food, don't visit a new country and ask for burger and fries. If you are offered food and it's not against your dietary restrictions you should probably try it. Be friendly, they know you are foreign so they will expect some mistakes but if you are an asshole they will be less receptive. 

[Rhaenys]

One thing to remember is that cultures are a set of beliefs they aren't morals. Looking up stuff before hand is vital. Google and youtube stuff.

 

Caribbean culture is very laid back af and relaxed. When someone says arrive at 8am you can arrive at 8:10 nobody cares. In the usa I was surprised cause they live up to the time is money saying. I had to adapt.