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Hi, I'm Florian (long post warning)


FlorianVerspian

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FlorianVerspian

Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl who feels like asexuality fits me well though doubts are inevitable I guess.

It all started when I was younger (like 16 is old) and I would always ask my mother "Why are so many songs about the do?". She said it's because society is sinful and being a kid I took that answer. It never really clicked to me that I might be asexual till I was about 13ish. Me and my friends were going through puperty, hormones were changing, all that jazz. I was always told that puperty is the sexual awakening, when you start getting urges and wants. While my friends could mark their puperties so well.... I'd have to say that mine went by like any other time. Nothing changed for me, I still had no interest in sex, I hadn't gotten a dirty dream and I was in no rush to get a boyfriend or even anything. I brought it up with my mom and she said "You're only like that cause you're young, it's good to go slow.".

So I did, come 15 I finally got my first crush (I think). I smiled when I was with him, I felt happy, I didn't think about him constantly but it was what the internet described as a crush. And so I waited for the fantasies to pour into my head like a waterfall, I finally had a crush. To my disappointment, I didn't get any fantasies, it was the same. The most I've wanted to do was give him a kiss on the cheek but nothing else. I feared something was wrong with me... How could I go through puperty AND have a crush but have no wanting to anything more then a peck on the cheek. I tried forcing myself to look at NSFW content in hopes of awakening something in me... Nothing. The human body didn't interest me past drawing it or make me feel funny like how people described it. So I felt broken. So after my 16th birthday I heard the term "asexual" again. By this time I went through another "crush" (still don't know for sure), he was a guy in the bus I really wanted to draw. The term sparked my interest, I did my research and found that a lot of what I went through describes other people's struggles. So I adopted the term while staying hetromantic because I still don't know what a crush is exactly but I think I've had two. I waited 3 weeks while doing research before officially telling my mother. She said that she thought I couldn't identify since I've never had a boyfriend and never had sex. That I haven't found the right guy, but... She said that she doesn't mind me adopting the term as long as I'm happy. Which I am. Sometimes I get doubts like "I like staring at butts, does that mean I'm attracted?" Then I remember "I stare at butts because the pants fabric looks weird, why am I over thinking my own actions again?". I don't know if "a guy will come along and fix me" but till that guy shows up I'm here to stay.

Hi, I'm Florian ^^

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It certainly sounds like you may be asexual! As a sexual male I only really developed any obvious desire for sex when I was 17. I fancied people well before this but didn’t want sex with them. Sometimes people do just develop at different times. Take your time and see what’s what. You are still young and I don’t say that to patronise you. It’s just a fact. Good luck.

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Welcome to AVEN, Florian! :cake:

 

You may be asexual, but 16 is still within the realm of normal to not have fully developed sexual feelings, either. =) It could be that you're just regular ol' sexual, it just hasn't shown up yet. Either way is totally okay. =)

 

For what it's worth - butts are awesome.

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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FlorianVerspian
9 hours ago, James121 said:

It certainly sounds like you may be asexual! As a sexual male I only really developed any obvious desire for sex when I was 17. I fancied people well before this but didn’t want sex with them. Sometimes people do just develop at different times. Take your time and see what’s what. You are still young and I don’t say that to patronise you. It’s just a fact. Good luck.

 

9 hours ago, Chimeric said:

Welcome to AVEN, Florian! :cake:

 

You may be asexual, but 16 is still within the realm of normal to not have fully developed sexual feelings, either. =) It could be that you're just regular ol' sexual, it just hasn't shown up yet. Either way is totally okay. =)

 

For what it's worth - butts are awesome.

Really? I was sitting here worried something was wrong with me. Seeing my peers develop attraction and a girl I use to hang out with getting pregnant and such.... I may just be a later bloomer then everyone.

That actually gives me some comfort knowing that puperty isn't always the sexual awakening

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4 hours ago, FlorianVerspian said:

Really? I was sitting here worried something was wrong with me.

Really really! I wasn't fully comfortable with the idea of sex until I was 18 (I hit puberty at 12) and I have a few friends who made it into their mid 20s before they started feeling sexual attraction to folks. 

 

Even if that doesn't happen, though, and it turns out you never develop those feelings and you are, in fact,  ace - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, either. =) 

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Welcome! Don't place all your bets on it magically hitting you all at once. It might happen, but what if it doesn't?

I say you can identify for now, and if it changes later then you can just change the label later, and in the mean time enjoy a community of cake. I'm 17 (16 when's i joined) and I'm not expecting it to change anytime soon

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