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Relationship Advice


pizza_

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I have never posted before but I don't know where else to turn to.  I have been in a relationship for over 6 years.  We are now engaged.  I came out last year as grace and he has always been super supportive.  He is awesome in many ways!  Recently I have been questioning whether we should be in a relationship.  I love him, but I am not sure if marriage and forever are in our future.  I am crushingly depressed and anxious now a days.  I just don't know what to do?  I want to cry all the time.  

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Hey @pizza_ welcom to Aven :cake::cake:

I'm pretty much aro-ace so not ideal person to answer maybe...

But many threas for mixed relationships tend to get too dramatic. 

Personally I don't really see the problem though. To summarise your point - You love your partner, and your partner understands you and you guys have been staying for a year so far since your coming out. And you are gray ace, not repulsed.

 

It depends how much you two can compromise for the sake of each other. 

Depression cause a bad spiral of thoughts and seems like there is no exit, I know that, but your partner must be even more confused to see you so depressed. Look at you, I don't think the situation is that bad.

 

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Thank you @Falcon7

I appreciate your advice :) .  I guess my fear comes from the fear that in the future he will want more and I will want something else.  I have only ever been in hetero relationships and only one long term.  What if there is more that I want to experience.  What if there is more that he needs from our relationship?  Can we sustain this?  I start seeing a new psychiatrist soon, so I am hoping some clarity comes from that.  I also just wanted to get some thoughts from the ace community as well.  

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@pizza_, I see, it is important to know the cause of fear. The future-oriented fear is difficult to deal with, but don't throw yourself in a mist of confusion and imagination. It is not happening right now and may not happen.  Everything - including yourself - is constantly changing. I think it is crucial to keep dialogue and 'create' the relationship, rather than 'sustain'. Seeking advices from others is a good way. Good luck!

 

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I had a really good conversation with my fiance!!  We came to an understanding that I think we can both move forward with!!  This thread really helped give me the courage to talk to him. Thank you so much!!

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