When is the best time to come out to a partner/potential partner?

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

I've only recently learnt about my aroflux demisexual identity and am wondering when the best time to come out to a partner/potential partner is? Is it best to say before starting to date someone or soon into the relationship? I personally fluctuate between being completely aromantic and being demi romantic so although I'm currently single and not interested in finding a partner at all I thought it would be useful to ask advice on this incase that changes.

[OakTree]

I personally think it's best to say before you start dating someone, so they know what to expect in the relationship and you're not unintentionally leading them on (if that makes sense). If someone does take an interest in me, one of the first things I say to them as it's best to say it at the start so no one's feelings get hurt if they expect one thing or another. Also, if you say to them about your romantic/sexual orientation, you can set ground rules from the start, so you don't have to worry about it, if you do start a relationship with them. 

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

Thanks for your advice ☺

[binary suns]

Going on one or two dates is probably fine. Half of a date is getting to know someone. Tell em early. IMO come out during a date lol, or whilst arranging for a second date. I think, if the topic came up naturally I’d come out first date. Otherwise I’d do so during the second, or while arranging for it. 

[binary suns]

I had a three month relationship. I told her in the beginning I doubted it’d last past my moving in the winter, before I agreed to be a couple at all. She said she was okay if it couldn’t last. Honest that conversation is one of the things that really helped me feel like we were together... like I’d have been stressed about it the whole time if we hadn’t had the chance to talk about it. 

 

 

If you feel too anxious to do something, instead focus on what gets accomplished. Or imagine the process of the conversation, or practice. Sometimes I talk to the mirror to practice a conversation 

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

On 15/02/2018 at 7:25 PM, float on said:

I had a three month relationship. I told her in the beginning I doubted it’d last past my moving in the winter, before I agreed to be a couple at all. She said she was okay if it couldn’t last. Honest that conversation is one of the things that really helped me feel like we were together... like I’d have been stressed about it the whole time if we hadn’t had the chance to talk about it. 

 

 

If you feel too anxious to do something, instead focus on what gets accomplished. Or imagine the process of the conversation, or practice. Sometimes I talk to the mirror to practice a conversation 

It's not that I'm anxious I just thought it would be helpful to seek advise so thank you for your advice ☺

[notapimp]

I find it is best to bring up during the first date. It can be very intimidating and you feel like you are "putting yourself out there". Honesty is the best policy. Be upfront about your sexuality and explain to the other person what it means and what it could mean to a future relationship, let them understand the implications and let them make the decision about how they feel about it. I recently had this conversation with someone, turns out they wanted to tell me they are polyamorous and bi-sexual (basically the complete opposite to me), we had a really good laugh and we hang out as friends now.

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

2 minutes ago, notapimp said:

Honesty is the best policy.

I've always believed in honesty and it's nice to hear how you were able to stay friends thank you

[GiraffeSpots]

I don't date, but I am selective about which friends I come out to, so I'ma come talk like I know what I'm saying. I would wait until after the first or second date to say so you can figure out if you like the person enough to go through all that explaining. Coming out can be really draining, remember to look after your feelings too, not just their expectations.

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

13 hours ago, GiraffeSpots said:

I don't date, but I am selective about which friends I come out to, so I'ma come talk like I know what I'm saying.

All advice is helpful whether the person giving the advice dates or not so thank you ☺

[Purple Wanderer]

I wouldn't want to lead anyone on. I can't imagine how awkward I'd feel bringing it up before a date or whatever... but I feel I'd have to .