SweetAce Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 I'm in my 2nd semester of college and back in first semester I met this guy that I found very interesting. I knew right away I liked him more than the average person and developed a big squish on him. He said he wasn't going to come back for 2nd semester but will the following year. It's been a month into 2nd semester and I believe I may have developed a real crush on him. I've never felt this way before and I've wondered if it's because I may be demiromantic or that just because we're apart, I feel I miss him too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 If you liked him right away that doesn't speak much towards demiromanticism. Nevertheless, since you like him I hope things work out! A lot of people have this type of first experience in college I think. Also, welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
SweetAce Posted February 13, 2018 Author Share Posted February 13, 2018 15 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said: If you liked him right away that doesn't speak much towards demiromanticism. No, I only began to develop what I believe are romantic feelings for him after he left. Before that I only felt as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, SweetAce said: No, I only began to develop what I believe are romantic feelings for him after he left. Before that I only felt as friends. But you did like him "more than the average person" right away. I'm assuming befriending him was a different experience than befriending your other peers. Perhaps it took the lack of access to him to get things to click for you in this situation. It's fine to consider yourself demiromantic of course if you think it fits! Personally if I had to put a label on it, I'd just use gray (if anything) just because since your initial introduction to him, it has been a markedly different experience from anyone else you've ever met. Alternatively, maybe you're just at the point in your life where you start developing/exploring feelings for people. There could be repeats not far off in the future. No way to know until you get there though. That being said, as far as your current interest is concerned, it's best to go with the flow. I know amongst my friends they sometimes developed feelings for their other friends who'd they'd known for a while that dwindled after a few months then they laugh about it later. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetAce Posted February 13, 2018 Author Share Posted February 13, 2018 It's possible haha. 52 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said: Link to post Share on other sites
Ripper Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 What is demiromantic? Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow007 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 @Ripper, I pulled this from the lexicon: Demiromantic: a type of grey-romantic who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand. According to the model derived from Ragber's "secondary and primary sexual attraction model", demiromantics do not experience primary romantic attraction, but they are capable of secondary romantic attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 This "more than the average person" can be interpreted in different ways. Someone above has taken it to mean more than you would like a friend. I wouldnt take it like that at all. For me, an average person is someone I meet randomly and dont really know or an acquaintance. If I like someone more than the average person, it probably means that because I like them more than the average person in my social spaces/ the street, I think I might want to see them again and be friends and if that feeling is particularly strong i may have a squish on them. (I have only had a squish once or twice - one of which was my boss so I may feel differently re squishes to others) I mean if i just liked them as I would an average person in the street or choir etc, they probably wouldnt be friend material, right? For them to be friend material there has to be more of a connection there if you get my point. Maybe the OP can clarify? Reading further posts it seems it may be more like my senario particularly as the romantic feelings came much later. Link to post Share on other sites
an_orange Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 On 2/13/2018 at 2:44 PM, SweetAce said: I'm in my 2nd semester of college and back in first semester I met this guy that I found very interesting. I knew right away I liked him more than the average person and developed a big squish on him. He said he wasn't going to come back for 2nd semester but will the following year. It's been a month into 2nd semester and I believe I may have developed a real crush on him. I've never felt this way before and I've wondered if it's because I may be demiromantic or that just because we're apart, I feel I miss him too much. I am grayromantic and possibly demiromantic, and I identify 100% with your feelings. It's happened to me multiple times, from eighth grade onward, and it's always involved whole-person romantic attraction but never sexual. Do you want to have sex with this guy? Do you want to kiss or touch him? Does he make you feel warm and fuzzy but you really wish he didn't have a penis so you didn't have to deal with it? If you don't want to have sex but you identify with the others, you may be demiromantic asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
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