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Is it ok if your partner gets their sexual needs met elsewhere?

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2 hours ago, GLRDT said:

And there it is. Someone finally admitted that both people in this argument have a point. 

I'm sorry that I did not appropriately elaborate that I do in fact believe this. 

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James121
4 hours ago, GLRDT said:

Im not sure I should get in on this argument but oh well. What about if someone shoots you with a gun and it hits your cyst and the cyst bursts? I would assume you'd then think the bullet would be involved in the death this time? Not solely the preexisting condition? If so, then why is the bullet any different than a car crash crushing the cyst? Didn't they both have to happen in order for the cyst to be dangerous and the death to occur?

 

I'm sorry to continue the derailing of the thread but I am genuinely curious how you'd view this example James121.

Is a penis synonymous with likely death..... no. Is being shot?......yes. it’s therefore not even comparable in my opinion. 

 

Can I ask you a few questions.

 

Ten million people go down a water slide with no issues. If our woman with an ovarian cyst goes down the water slide which causes the cyst to rupture and kills her at the bottom, did she die as a result of the water slide or the cyst?

 

if a woman with an ovarian cyst sneezes violently and the cyst ruptures, is that death by sneezing?

 

Finally the main question. If the same woman who died during intercourse did not have the cyst at the time she had sex, would she have died? No way. So what killed her. Sex or the cyst rupture?

 

Going back to the shooting scenario. You get shot, it ruptured the cyst and you die. You die because you were shot. I totally understand why people are arguing that it must be sex that killed that woman then but it’s clearly not the same because if you get shot without any pre existing medical condition it is likely to result in death. That’s the difference. One activity (sex) is not synonymous with death or extreme injury, being shot is.

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James121
5 hours ago, GLRDT said:
On 19/02/2018 at 11:06 AM, Philip027 said:

They're both contributors.  You can't pretend that the crash is not responsible though, because if it were not for the crash, the person would still be alive.

And there it is. Someone finally admitted that both people in this argument have a point. 

I’m still not on board with this. A car crash is a bad example and here’s why.

 

Car crash at 90mph - we all know that it is highly likely you don’t walk away whether you had a cyst or not.

 

Car crash at 20mph - I’ve never heard of any dying at that sort of speed. Except we are going to make an exception for the woman who had the ovarian cyst that ruptured and say she did die of a 20mph car crash.

 

In my opinion she didn’t. She died of a cyst that ruptured during a car crash.

 

 

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GLRDT
1 hour ago, James121 said:

Is a penis synonymous with likely death..... no. Is being shot?......yes. it’s therefore not even comparable in my opinion. 

 

Can I ask you a few questions.

 

Ten million people go down a water slide with no issues. If our woman with an ovarian cyst goes down the water slide which causes the cyst to rupture and kills her at the bottom, did she die as a result of the water slide or the cyst?

 

if a woman with an ovarian cyst sneezes violently and the cyst ruptures, is that death by sneezing?

 

Finally the main question. If the same woman who died during intercourse did not have the cyst at the time she had sex, would she have died? No way. So what killed her. Sex or the cyst rupture?

 

Going back to the shooting scenario. You get shot, it ruptured the cyst and you die. You die because you were shot. I totally understand why people are arguing that it must be sex that killed that woman then but it’s clearly not the same because if you get shot without any pre existing medical condition it is likely to result in death. That’s the difference. One activity (sex) is not synonymous with death or extreme injury, being shot is.

I agree that these things depend on the context per each situation. I don't think there is one answer for every type of situation. Oh and i think I may have gotten confused. I thought you brought up the car argument originally but I suppose that was Phillip. Sorry!

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James121
6 minutes ago, GLRDT said:

I agree that these things depend on the context per each situation. I don't think there is one answer for every type of situation. Oh and i think I may have gotten confused. I thought you brought up the car argument originally but I suppose that was Phillip. Sorry!

No apology required. Some people and I just don’t agree on this. That’s fine but I argued this case strongly as it was almost like sex was being unfairly labelled as very negative....it can kill you after all!

 

The reality is, you can die from absolutely anything especially if you have a pre existing medical condition(s). 

 

Most people poo once a day, every day and it is not considered a dangerous activity or an activity to be careful of. Yet people with heart conditions (pre existing medical condition) have died from having heart attacks induced by pooing.

Would there have ever been this amount of disagreement over the ‘dangers of pooing’ on this forum? I don’t think there would have been. The reason there was over sex is because many people on this forum don’t agree sex is important and argue that we can or even should remove it where as some people (including me) do believe it is important and argue the contrary. 

So the disagreement is born more out of sexual orientation than the facts.

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vega57
1 hour ago, James121 said:

"...if you get shot without any pre existing medical condition it is likely to result in death."

Actually, for every one person killed by guns, 2 more are injured.  You can't say that if you're shot it is "likely" to result in death. 

Maybe a better comparison should be made...?

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Serran
50 minutes ago, James121 said:

 

 

Most people poo once a day, every day and it is not considered a dangerous activity or an activity to be careful of. Yet people with heart conditions (pre existing medical condition) have died from having heart attacks induced by pooing.

 

Honestly, doesn't take a pre-existing medical condition. If you get constipated enough you can stress a nerve in your rectum that makes you lose consciousness and nearly stops your heart. Could easily harm yourself passing out that way. Found this out when my grandmother passed out in a store and her pulse dropped very low. 

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Philip027
Quote

And there it is. Someone finally admitted that both people in this argument have a point. 

No, my point was that the people arguing that the car crash/sex/whatever isn't a cause of death for the people with a cyst or whatever other physically-frail condition are wrong.  It very clearly is, because without those activities taking place, the death wouldn't have happened.

 

Quote

Is a penis synonymous with likely death..... no. Is being shot?......yes. it’s therefore not even comparable in my opinion.

What is "synonymous" with death and what isn't (what does that even mean?) makes zero fucking difference.  If something causes a death, it causes a death.  Some people die in ways that you'd never believe until you see it.

 

The whole "well, it couldn't have killed that person because it doesn't kill MOST people" argument that you keep trying to make doesn't fly.

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Sally

What's all this got to do with letting a partner fulfill their sexual needs with someone else?

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xxFoxFaderxx

Well, I know that somewhere along the line this discussion got heavily off topic, but to bring it all back...

 

This is a complicated issue for me. On one hand, I would love for my partner to have their "needs" fulfilled. I understand that most people have the drive to have intercourse (whilst I don't understand this need much at all, but the only comparison I can make is my desire for emotional closeness), but I don't know if I could willingly allow my partner to have sexual relations with others. Not because of monogamy or polyamory, but because I would feel as though I wouldn't be... beneficial to a relationship. If someone can kiss and hold someone else AND have intercourse, wouldn't that be better than if they could have two of the three? I don't know if I could ever put my trust in that. In theory, I would love to be okay with it (granted there was full disclosure), but in reality, I doubt I could be able to do it easily. 

I have an insecurity of not... being enough already as it is, and my asexuality really limits that further :/

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Sally

^^^ Very well said.

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Philip027
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What's all this got to do with letting a partner fulfill their sexual needs with someone else?

There isn't a whole lot else to be said about that topic other than "some people are fine with it; some most people aren't"

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James121
5 hours ago, Serran said:

Honestly, doesn't take a pre-existing medical condition. If you get constipated enough you can stress a nerve in your rectum that makes you lose consciousness and nearly stops your heart. Could easily harm yourself passing out that way. Found this out when my grandmother passed out in a store and her pulse dropped very low. 

If you get constipated enough.......

 

pre existing medical condition?

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Philip027

This thread is officially full of shit.

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James121
6 hours ago, vega57 said:

Actually, for every one person killed by guns, 2 more are injured.  You can't say that if you're shot it is "likely" to result in death. 

Maybe a better comparison should be made...?

That’s a pretty high ratio of death in comparison to many things though. 

 

For every 1 person that dies during intercourse, 500,000,000,000 complete it without complication?

 

For every person that dies in a car crash, 60,000 walk away perfectly fine.

 

These are obviously made up figures but you get my point? 

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James121
8 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

This thread is officially full of shit.

Finally we agree P

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James121
5 hours ago, Philip027 said:

 

The whole "well, it couldn't have killed that person because it doesn't kill MOST people" argument that you keep trying to make doesn't fly.

Yes it does.

 

This lady with the cyst that ruptured during sex and whom therefore died during intercourse.

 

If she did not have the cyst, would she have died?

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Philip027

If she wasn't in the car crash (or had the sex), would she have died?

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James121
15 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

If she wasn't in the car crash (or had the sex), would she have died?

 

The answer to my question was no but I’m afraid the answer to your question is yes! Very possible when you have a pre existing medical condition like a cyst they may rupture.

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Philip027

It being "possible" does not make the answer to my question a yes.  Anyone can die anytime.

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James121
18 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

It being "possible" does not make the answer to my question a yes.  Anyone can die anytime.

I agree. But it’s a distinct possibility though which is the point you don’t seem to want to acknowledge.

 

Whereas if she had no cyst, it’s not a distinct possibility which again remains unacknowledged. 

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Serran
2 hours ago, James121 said:

If you get constipated enough.......

 

pre existing medical condition?

People get constipated all the time, it's not always a medical condition that causes it... can just be a bad diet :P 

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James121
3 minutes ago, Serran said:

People get constipated all the time, it's not always a medical condition that causes it... can just be a bad diet :P 

Being common condition doesn’t mean that constipation isn’t a medical condition. 

Thats like suggesting a cold isn’t a medical condition because they’re easy to get and can just be down to a lack of sleep.

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