QPR messing up a romantic relationship

[Orianaro]

Okay it's not officially a QPR, but its really the best way to define our relationship. I'm aro/ace and have a squish on a very close friend of mine who is romantic. We spend a lot of time together and will talk for literally hours about the most in-depth topics. This person (I'll call them Pasta) is really the only person who is actively aware of my identity. There are a couple of other friends, but its kind of a passing knowledge to them that I don't think they take very seriously. On the other hand, I spend a lot of time essentially quizzing Pasta on what romantic feelings/attraction is and they've told me they find it absolutely hilarious watching me try to comprehend it all. It's also really funny to hear about their romantic feelings though, because they're hyper-romantic and tend to like multiple people at once so its a bit of a game to guess what new person they like. 

 

Anyways, Pasta has a romantic interest I'll call Radio. Radio is a very, very shy person and quite frankly, the two of them are really awkward around each other. But also really adorable, because they're both a little socially strange but they've known each other for forever. It's unofficially acknowledged between the two that they like each other. A very unconventional, undercover couple basically. Unfortunately, Pasta has kinda pessimistic, impermanent view of relationships. So basically, they know the relationship is going to end when high school does. (Which quite frankly is a really reasonable acknowledgement.) Unfortunately, I've pointed out to them that Radio probably doesn't see it this impermanently and they do feel really bad about that because they agree with me. This is relevant in a minute.

 

Pasta and I have been mistaken for both a couple and twins on multiple occasions. We find both hilarious but only encourage the latter. The issue now is that I'm really not sure how Radio feels about me, because Pasta and I have a lot of rapid fire, comfortable conversation and are really easy going with each other while they and Pasta have much more stilted conversation and by inconvenience don't get to see each other a lot. Radio isn't the type to get jealous: rather, I'm concerned they'll feel really insecure about their relationship and stop trying or just feel really bad about me. Pasta and I have discussed this in some detail, but short of pretending to be less-close friends or trying to convince Radio to their face that there are no romantic feelings, we can't really think of anything to do. Even if Radio legitimately believes that we don't like each other, the amount of time we spend together could still be a serious sore spot for them and I really, really don't want it to be. They're adorable and they make each other incredibly happy, and I really don't want to get in the way of that. I would also have a hard time trying to trust Radio in explaining being aro, because I don't know them that well, they might not believe me, and the fact that Pasta is still romantic doesn't remove the possibility of feelings from that side and that makes me nervous that they would accept the fact that I'm aromantic but then when they still feel jealous of our friendship, instead feel unjustified and bottle the emotions up and end with Pasta and Radio drifting away or having issues.

 

So that's a general explanation of the situation. If you can think of anything I could do to alleviate Radio's (and therefore Pasta and I's) worries, that would be awesome. I'm getting to know Radio to become their friend in the hopes that they might come to some natural understanding of our close friendship (they're also a really cool person in general), but I don't know. That's it's own topic, the inability for people of the opposite gender to be really good friends and not be assumed to be/eventually be something more. It's frankly irritating.

 

Any help or suggestions would be awesome  

[Galactic Turtle]

Seems like the classic case of insecurity.

 

For example, my friend and this dude have been friends since they were like... six. My friend's current boyfriend secretly liked my friend for eight years before finally asking her out (all the while being super jealous of her childhood friend for always being around). Nevertheless, the boyfriend gets insanely insecure whenever my friend spends the weekend hanging out with her childhood friend.

 

I'm not really sure if there's an exact solution for these types of issues but being conscious of when the two of them want alone time on the weekends (since you said they don't meet at school that much) or maybe even bringing Radio into your general social circle will make them feel more comfortable about things.