Agria Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I just want to know how are freyromantics' experiences. 1. Like when you first like someone that you had no deep connection with before, are there any traits you're attracted to, or you're just attracted generally to the unknown and want to discover them? 2. When you're no longer attracted to someone you liked before, is it because your fantasies about them and what you expected them to be doesn't match reality or do you just get bored of them after knowing them well? 3. Are you exclusively freyromantic? Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Mmh. I always feel drawn to frey to describe my experiences, but I don't know if that's exactly it. I'm basically acearo. But sometimes I meet someone new and I am incredibly drawn to them and fascinated by them, how they act, their history and appearance. That wears off from instantly to shortly after. Some people stay on the milder version level of that though. And no, it's not a squish from my understanding, there is no "wanting to get to know them" or "wanting to be close" or "wanting to be become friends" there for me. I don't know what to tell you, maybe this is totally not frey. Link to post Share on other sites
Sexual Ally Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I'm not exclusively frey, but it has come up consistently enough in my life for me to have given it some thought. 3 hours ago, Agria said: 1. Like when you first like someone that you had no deep connection with before, are there any traits you're attracted to, or you're just attracted generally to the unknown and want to discover them? Both. As an allo, there may be an initial sexual attraction that draws me to them. Or there might be little or no sexual attraction, but a fascination with their personality, how they present themselves, feeling I have something to learn from them, or maybe it's that they are somewhat of a blank slate and I'm projecting these things onto them. 3 hours ago, Agria said: 2. When you're no longer attracted to someone you liked before, is it because your fantasies about them and what you expected them to be doesn't match reality or do you just get bored of them after knowing them well? It's usually because someone who seemed interesting or charming or special somehow does not anymore. As I get to know them better they may reveal other qualities (such as dominating conversations, being intellectually incurious, being emotionally incurious) that cancel out any initial interest in their positive qualities. If it was a sexual attraction that initially drew me, perhaps we've been intimate and I found the experience empty or unsatisfying. And it may just be that they are somewhat boring (to me) after repeated exposure? 3 hours ago, Agria said: 3. Are you exclusively freyromantic? It's not an exclusive thing, but as mentioned earlier, it's happened enough times to have to question it. It concerns me sometimes. Are me expectations unreasonable? Is my "boredom" an excuse for unconscious fear of intimacy? Am I scared of THEIR expectations? It's not something I have all the answers to, though I'm learning not to be as hard as myself as I used to. I used to think of this tendency as a sign of defect, and now I'm starting to feel more that it may be a sign that the person in question is not the right person for me. The jury is out. Link to post Share on other sites
kriddle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 For me, there has never really been something in particular that does attract me. Every single guy that I have been attracted to has looked and acted different. What got me to stop liking them was actually telling someone about the crush/squish/insert-term-here. Only once has the person that I told been the person it was about. Every time that I told, the feelings went away almost instantly. I don't see myself as exclusively frey - but I do see myself as closer to the frey end of the spectrum vs. demi. Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 27 minutes ago, kriddle said: Every time that I told, the feelings went away almost instantly I feel this! Even when I wonder if I am romantically-ish interested in anyone, as soon as I talk about it irl, it's vanished Link to post Share on other sites
hpsique Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 On 2/9/2018 at 12:18 PM, Agria said: I just want to know how are freyromantics' experiences. I'm quite new to this, but here is my answers, and I know this is a old post. On 2/9/2018 at 12:18 PM, Agria said: 1. Like when you first like someone that you had no deep connection with before, are there any traits you're attracted to, or you're just attracted generally to the unknown and want to discover them? some people fascinates me for different reasons and I'm curious to get know them, which also gave me sexual desire. On 2/9/2018 at 12:18 PM, Agria said: 2. When you're no longer attracted to someone you liked before, is it because your fantasies about them and what you expected them to be doesn't match reality or do you just get bored of them after knowing them well? I try to be curious about the person, and understand more of their reality. Once I get familiar with their universe, I have no sexual interest at all, and it usually the relationship falls apart because of my lack of sexual desire. On 2/9/2018 at 12:18 PM, Agria said: 3. Are you exclusively freyromantic? I believe so. Link to post Share on other sites
Nylocke Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 Some of that list feels relatable but I'm not entirely sure what a frayromantic actually is ... Link to post Share on other sites
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