nbx Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Hello all avenists, Would want to know stories about fake relationships but how they can still matter when you can't get the real ones? Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Not sure what you mean. Is this a fake topic? Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Define "fake". You mean without romantic component? Or literally two people who don't care about each other and make pretend to the outside world? Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Like an imaginary friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 It’s definetly not cool to lie about a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I believe this is about making up (pretend to have) a SO when you don't have one, but I don't see the point either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Kururin Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Um, can you define what's a fake relationship? I don't get what you're saying. But to be quite honest, you shouldn't fake relationships. Relationships are not things you simply "play" with. Doing that doesnt really count as being "in" a relationship as there is no love within it so it's just two people.. well, making up appearances. Well, romance wise. Everyone is able to be in a relationship. If you're not yet in one, that's okay. Sure, you may look and see others around you in one, but it doesn't mean that you have to get one super instantly, nor should you fake one. Sometimes, waiting is fine. It's long, but worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Fake relationships? Like beards? Or completely making something up? In the past I've made up having fake crushes just to shut people up in conversation. Once I got hit on by a childhood friend and I told him I had a crush on someone else because I didn't want him to like me that way. Lmao. Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 If you have to fake a relationship, you have to ask yourself why. If it's to impress friends, get new friends, if it's to get people to stop hitting on you... then you should think of telling someone the truth, rather than coming up with excuses. If it's to make yourself happy... then I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I predominantly had 'relationships' with fictional characters for years (but I was never 'me', it was like I was experiencing the relationship through another being). I felt stronger emotions and a deeper connection during those 'relationships' than I ever have with someone in meat life.. it's like fictional worlds are more real than this one, and it's those worlds I was in when I was experiencing relationships with fictional characters through another being. It wasn't out of lack of 'real' relationships that I chose fictional relationships for so many years (about 2 decades) I just had a natural preference for them and even now, prefer online relationships to 'meat life' ones. If my current distance relationship ended I think I would go back to fictional relationship exploration but I'll probably delete this later as it's pretty embarrassing admitting it Not sure if that's what the OP means by 'fake' relationships? Link to post Share on other sites
nbx Posted February 9, 2018 Author Share Posted February 9, 2018 Like only for show off so that people don't pity me not having partner like my partner is in some other country so I am already hooked up so that in general people should just stop pitying on my solo(lonely)life 😎 Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 . Link to post Share on other sites
gaogao Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 4 hours ago, Baggage_warrior said: if it's to get people to stop hitting on you... then you should think of telling someone the truth, rather than coming up with excuses. When I was single I tried to tell people the truth - that I'm single but I'm not looking because I'm not interested in a relationship, because i'm probably asexual. The responses ranged along the lines of "oh, but you've never dated, so how do you know that you're not interested?" to "You should try going out with me, because I can fix you." No matter how much I said that nothing needs fixing and I don't want to go out with them or anyone else, it was really hard to make them back off. By the end, if I insisted on continuing to say no, some guys hit back at me and called me frigid/rude/a bitch - luckily i never experienced anything worse. In the end, to avoid the most drama, the easiest thing for me to do was pretend to have a boyfriend -- and for some reason, I found out that people were more likely to respect that and back off... though of course, i got the occasional "he's not here, so does he have to know?" response to that as well... Aside from that I haven't really pretended to be in a relationship with someone :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 9 minutes ago, gaogao said: When I was single I tried to tell people the truth - that I'm single but I'm not looking because I'm not interested in a relationship, because i'm probably asexual. The responses ranged along the lines of "oh, but you've never dated, so how do you know that you're not interested?" to "You should try going out with me, because I can fix you." No matter how much I said that nothing needs fixing and I don't want to go out with them or anyone else, it was really hard to make them back off. By the end, if I insisted on continuing to say no, some guys hit back at me and called me frigid/rude/a bitch - luckily i never experienced anything worse. Mm. I remember a situation like that. My response was "Okay, if you say so, so let's continue hanging out as friends instead". Three weeks later we were together. So, I guess the "You don't know that you're not interested" people might've had a point, although I somehow doubt most of them were very genuine in making that point. Quote the easiest thing for me to do was pretend to have a boyfriend -- and for some reason, I found out that people were more likely to respect that and back off... Yes, that does seem to be the case, and I'm also slightly confused by it. Like, if you can respect the fact that someone is already taken, why can you not respect the fact they're simply not interested in you? Maybe by stating the truth, these people were viewing you as inexperienced enough that they might potentially manipulate you, whereas by saying that you have a partner, they thought that this might not be so easy. Sad. *trump face* Link to post Share on other sites
SilentRose Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 The closest I came to this was I did lie to a friend telling her I lost my virginity to some guy I dated just to avoid the "OMG You've never had sex?!?!" talk....which with her definitely would have happened. I kind of regret it since I hate lying to a friend, but in that moment I was just so uncomfortable when she asked me about it so I don't feel too guilty. Other than that, when in high school I think I wish I could have made up a fake relationship so people would stop bugging me, but it just sounded too complicated and too much lying...couldn't go through with it. Now, even if I didn't have a significant other I wouldn't make one up ever...as you get older being different matters less and less...for the most part, I'm happy with who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 It's pretty common for hetero girls and women to talk about their imaginary boyfriends in an effort to deflect the attentions of boys and men they find undesirable. Link to post Share on other sites
gaogao Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 36 minutes ago, Tarfeather said: Mm. I remember a situation like that. My response was "Okay, if you say so, so let's continue hanging out as friends instead". Three weeks later we were together. So, I guess the "You don't know that you're not interested" people might've had a point, although I somehow doubt most of them were very genuine in making that point. I think my issue is that many of these men don't accept that I know how I feel. The fact that you said "Ok, let's continue hanging out as friends" rather than "but how do you know?" shows that you're more willing to accept that a woman knows what they want at a given moment in time. The fact that your girlfriend changed her mind later has no bearing on what she decided when she first refused you - and it sounds like you respected that until she herself made a decision to go out with you.. (?) I mean, similarly, my girlfriend was my friend for over five years before I realised I had any feelings for her. If she'd pressured me in any way to have a relationship with her or questioned whether I knew what I wanted, I probably would never have felt comfortable enough around her to get together with her. 36 minutes ago, Tarfeather said: Maybe by stating the truth, these people were viewing you as inexperienced enough that they might potentially manipulate you, whereas by saying that you have a partner, they thought that this might not be so easy. Sad. *trump face* Perhaps, but I don't think it's necessarily to do with experience because even now, as a person who is in a relationship, if I say the truth - that I am gay, have a girlfriend, and am not interested in guys, they don't generally back down. The difference I see is when I say I'm "taken" (with no clarification that I'm taken by a woman) and they assume that I'm taken by a man. Only then do they back off. (Actually, the time some dude said "but he's not here!" was one of these times..) It feels to me more like they're only willing to accept that I'm the property of someone else (a man), rather than able to make decisions on my own about who I'm attracted to or who I'm with. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 49 minutes ago, gaogao said: I think my issue is that many of these men don't accept that I know how I feel. The fact that you said "Ok, let's continue hanging out as friends" rather than "but how do you know?" shows that you're more willing to accept that a woman knows what they want at a given moment in time. The fact that your girlfriend changed her mind later has no bearing on what she decided when she first refused you - and it sounds like you respected that until she herself made a decision to go out with you.. (?) It had a lot to do with her being open and honest from the start. She listened to what I had to say about my feelings patiently, and she never tried to change or argue what I felt for her. She clearly expressed her view, and I had no problem with accepting that. Yes, she did eventually make the decision to go out with me herself, without me bringing it up again. 1 hour ago, gaogao said: Perhaps, but I don't think it's necessarily to do with experience because even now, as a person who is in a relationship, if I say the truth - that I am gay, have a girlfriend, and am not interested in guys, they don't generally back down. The difference I see is when I say I'm "taken" (with no clarification that I'm taken by a woman) and they assume that I'm taken by a man. Only then do they back off. (Actually, the time some dude said "but he's not here!" was one of these times..) It feels to me more like they're only willing to accept that I'm the property of someone else (a man), rather than able to make decisions on my own about who I'm attracted to or who I'm with. That or they picture in their mind being beaten up by a hunk of a boyfriend, hah. Yes, what you say could legitimately be the case. The views some people have of women are astounding. Just yesterday I read someone seriously argue that women don't have ideologies and only copy their partner or whoever they're trying to impress. It made me wonder whether that person had talked to a single woman, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 @Baggage_warrior There are too many people who don't handle rejection well. Sometimes it's necessary to tell a white lie. Link to post Share on other sites
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