Sharing a Bed Reduces Stress. Yawn.

[lazypanda]

17 minutes ago, Topi said:

I read somewhere that women tend to not like to share beds and can't sleep well with someone else beside them, while men is the opposite. I don't remember where I saw this, though...

This is soooo true....my mom hates sharing a bed with someone. She and my sister also HATE it if someone hugs them while sleeping. But my dad and I cant sleep without hugging something/someone !!! 

 

I think some women are light sleepers and wake up too easily at the slightest sound of someone snoring or turning in their sleep. Not me though....i wouldnt wake up even if people bombed my place !!!

[WoodwindWhistler]

Just now, lazypanda said:

Omg...soooo cool !!!! I love pandas(as you can see from my username)...but i can never find panda bears in shops!!! 😢

Oh yeah, he's the crown jewel of my Beanie Babies collection. He's the size of a pillow, and I've never seen a TY stuffed animal that big and that shape since. 

When I was little I saved up money forever to buy him.

I guess look online? This little guy actually helps support conservation https://gifts.worldwildlife.org/gift-center/gifts/species-adoptions/panda.aspx

Mine kinda looks like this https://www.amazon.com/Super-Stuffed-Animals-Exceptional-Home/dp/B01N6XVM0I

[RK800]

I really don't care if it reduces stress or not, I live in fuckin Florida and the bed is to damn hot for two people.

[Guest]

On 2/7/2018 at 2:29 PM, WoodwindWhistler said:

 

To me, though, this comes across as extra pressure put on singles to find partners.
 

Or pets.

 

I think heavy emphasis in that story should be directed at the portion that states: "happy couples".

 

To me, if miserable with someone, cuddling won't feel safe. It will feel burdensome.

 

To me, this creates stress and depression. It's the loneliest feeling.

 

It should mention sleeping alone and happy is better than coupled and miserable. Being coupled and happy is healthier than single and happy, would be a more realistic argument.

 

Not pointing this out, is you endorsing people settling with someone because a warm body to sleep next to is better than none.

 

Sure he beats you, but it could be worse. You could be sleeping alone.

 

That's like ordering a hamburger on sale and the meat is raw and veggies on it are mouldy. Telling yourself you got it for 80% off. Better than no burger.

 

Sounds ridiculous, right? That's because you can insert any scenario, and it won't change the fact that is.

[WoodwindWhistler]

18 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

To me, if miserable with someone, cuddling won't feel safe. It will feel burdensome.

 

 

 

Not pointing this out, is you endorsing people settling with someone because a warm body to sleep next to is better than none.

Okay, I think you're totally missing the intent of my statements. Yes, the friend you sleep next to you, you should feel safe with. I kinda thought that went without saying- having someone you don't trust next to you in your most vulnerable state would be pretty anxiety-inducing. 

[Tja]

I can't sleep when someones in my house, let alone my bed.

[XYZ96]

I know this is an average, but my parents prefer sleeping in different rooms, because my dad has trouble sleeping and my mom snores very loudly, in their case, sleeping together just makes everything more stressful, 'cause my dad gets no sleep  

[WoodwindWhistler]

To everyone on the thread: if you know someone who snores, they should look into trying mouthpieces, nose strips, etc. They are not getting enough oxygen and that affects their health a lot. It should not be ignored or taken as normal. It is a medical problem. 

There are even holistic things and exercises they can try: http://www.apneatreatmentcenter.com/how-to-cure-sleep-apnea-naturally-20-natural-remedies-for-sleep-apnea-that-actually-work/

[Philip027]

I've actually got sleep apnea myself, likely inherited from my dad.  Been trying to use a CPAP, but it's only making it harder to sleep, not easier... so stuff like in the link above is appreciated as I look into other options.

[umbasa]

*reads topic title*

 

Idontbelieveyou.gif

 

I can't share. I mean, I hate sleep enough as it is but having to sleep beside someone else... I'll sleep in the bathtub instead (don't knock it until you try it). For me, sleeping alone is vastly more relaxing.

[WoodwindWhistler]

18 hours ago, umbasa said:

I hate sleep enough as it is

Wait, what? 

[umbasa]

5 minutes ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

Wait, what? 

Yes? 

[WoodwindWhistler]

1 hour ago, umbasa said:

Yes? 

Why do you hate sleep?

Do you have trouble getting or staying asleep? Nightmares? What? 

[umbasa]

10 minutes ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

Why do you hate sleep?

Do you have trouble getting or staying asleep? Nightmares? What? 

I am sure I would like sleep if it was an enjoyable and refreshing experience because heaven knows I need the break from my brain from when it is switched off during it, but I am always tired no matter the length. When I finally get exhausted enough to fall under it is never for long. Constantly tossing and turning, so I'm in out in out. Can't complain too much because it used to be a lot worse.

[Guest]

On 2/8/2018 at 9:03 AM, Woodworker1968 said:

IF she doesn't fart, snore, or have a noisy gut, IF she lies still and don't shift around all night

ExactIy IIke you when you sIeep, right?

[Guest]

19 hours ago, umbasa said:

*reads topic title*

 

Idontbelieveyou.gif

 

I can't share. I mean, I hate sleep enough as it is but having to sleep beside someone else... I'll sleep in the bathtub instead (don't knock it until you try it). For me, sleeping alone is vastly more relaxing.

I hate sIeep too! It's such a waste of time!!

[WoodwindWhistler]

24 minutes ago, umbasa said:

I am sure I would like sleep if it was an enjoyable and refreshing experience because heaven knows I need the break from my brain from when it is switched off during it, but I am always tired no matter the length. When I finally get exhausted enough to fall under it is never for long. Constantly tossing and turning, so I'm in out in out. Can't complain too much because it used to be a lot worse.

Have you ever tried any guided meditations for sleeping?

What's wrong with your mind? What do you think has you so strung out? What made it somewhat better?

I know someone who was unable to sleep for practically all her life, no matter what meds she tried, but when she finally addressed an issue she hadn't been dealing with, she slept like a rock. Anecdotal, I know. But what might you need to let go of?
 

15 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

I hate sIeep too! It's such a waste of time!!

I think that's totally different from not getting much benefit from it. 

On the contrary, studies of sleep show that your subconscious is often better at solving specific external problems you encounter when it is unconstrained by the typical life boxes of your conscious, routine-oriented mind. Also it is very useful, especially if you practice dream lucidity and dream control techniques, because you have a clearer, bigger picture of what internal hangups are holding you back.

 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

On the contrary, studies of sleep show that your subconscious is often better at solving specific external problems you encounter when it is unconstrained by the typical life boxes of your conscious, routine-oriented mind. Also it is very useful, especially if you practice dream lucidity and dream control techniques, because you have a clearer, bigger picture of what internal hangups are holding you back.

Well I meant I actually just don't have enough time for sleep, I'm a solo parent which on it's own is a 24/7 job, let alone everything else I am doing to make money, keep the house tidy, work towards my future goals etc. Either I need more time in the day or need to be able to just not sleep. I usually go to bed with my kids around 7.30pm so I can get up around 2.30am which gives me time to get stuff done before they wake up, but it's still full-on. Sleep frustrates me a lot, knowing that I NEED to do it or I can't concentrate.. but I wish I was like a dolphin so could sleep with one half of my brain at a time and keep the other half awake so I can clean, prepare the meals for the next day, etc etc. And yes I have been actively trying to work towards lucidity for a long time now. I just need to put more effort (if I could find the time) into it and practice more mindfulness throughout the day so I can be more mindful while I sleep. I have had lucid dreams in the past (woken up in the dream and been fully conscious) but only ever spontaneously. I figure if I train myself to do it as often as possible then I can at least make some use of the time wasted while I sleep, and if I can control it enough that it becomes actively beneficial then sleep will stop being a waste of time.  ...I just somehow need the time to practice the techniques that help make regular lucid dreaming possible  It's a bit of a catch 22 lol

[WoodwindWhistler]

5 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

I wish I was like a dolphin so could sleep with one half of my brain at a time and keep the other half awake so I can clean, prepare the meals for the next day, etc etc. 

Yeah, that would be totally awesome. I wonder if dolphins experience a "split consciousness" like the test subjects whose corpus callosum was surgically separated. People who have non-trauma induced multiplicity seem to do just fine, too. 

 

7 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Well I meant I actually just don't have enough time for sleep

Well, then don't hate on the poor 'ol sleep, it's just trying to do its job, too! XDDD 

Are any of your kids near ages to help you? Hope so. Best of luck!



 

[Acing It]

On 07/02/2018 at 7:41 PM, Jade Cross said:

What if the person I love is myself?

You'll probably be called an egomaniac by a lot of people ( I feel the same as what you said though)

[umbasa]

51 minutes ago, WoodwindWhistler said:

Have you ever tried any guided meditations for sleeping?

What's wrong with your mind? What do you think has you so strung out? What made it somewhat better?

I know someone who was unable to sleep for practically all her life, no matter what meds she tried, but when she finally addressed an issue she hadn't been dealing with, she slept like a rock. Anecdotal, I know. But what might you need to let go of?

Oh boy, where to start. 

 

Meditation don't work on me. It's not because I find it embarrassing  or I feel vulnerable (what is usually said to me) but because it is asking for the impossible. My therapist tried to get me to do it but whatever it requires to make it effective? I don't have it. Same reason hypnosis also doesn't work on me. My mind is far too active and making me sit still and try to lose myself or focus on one particular thing only makes my mind go into overdrive. Plus, I am doubtful it (like hypnosis) actually works as intended. People can go "oh, give it a chance" but that is like me saying to them "Believe the sky is pink with yellow spots." No matter how hard they try or how much they squint, they're simply not gonna.

 

I have also tried meds and those knock me out but I don't feel any more refreshed by it. How I feel when I come to is the same as how I felt when I went under. It feels like a pause button and not a remedy. Plus, the side effects. Some of which sure aren't labelled on the box (it knocks you out a little too well, if you catch my drift).

 

As for what made it better, that was because my sleep paralysis subsided. And the thing with that is although we know the mechanics of why it happens no one knows what can trigger it (you can pick from a dozen possible reasons, none have ever been pinpointed) thus no one knows why it can suddenly go away. Thankfully, I have been sleep paralysis free for a few years now and I sure hope it stays that way. I fucking despise sleep paralysis.

[Acing It]

I don't believe that one in 4 couples sleep apart.

 

As for me, I don't like sleeping with anyone else in the same bed and will avoid it if possible, which is really easy in my case! Hahah!

I would even less sleep with a hairy animal in my bed. Yuk! No offence to those who like it, but my personal taste is, just no.

[Philip027]

Quote

Why do you hate sleep?

Feels like a boring, unproductive waste of time.

[Lord Jade Cross]

.

[Acing It]

6 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

People cant even make up their minds on the simplest of things so their opinion should never taken into comsideration 😜

hahah. You're far too fluffy to have any further discussion about this

[Homer]

On 7.2.2018 at 8:29 PM, WoodwindWhistler said:

To me, though, this comes across as extra pressure put on singles to find partners

How so?

[SorryNotSorry]

On February 10, 2018 at 2:15 PM, FictoVore. said:

ExactIy IIke you when you sIeep, right?

You got it.

[Guest]

On 2/8/2018 at 6:00 PM, WoodwindWhistler said:

I kinda thought that went without saying- having someone you don't trust next to you in your most vulnerable state would be pretty anxiety-inducing. 

Fair enough.

 

I still prefer sleeping alone. I don't like a body next to mine, when trying to fall asleep. Its challenging enough, on its own. Having to deal with another's breathing patterns, or movements, is too much for me.

 

Plus, I can't deal with a woman who loves suffocating the heck out of you, via cuddles before they fall asleep.

 

Arm under your neck, and literally boa constrictor style, around your body. They'd be fast asleep, all happy--I can't feel half my body. Perfect. If they steal the covers on top of that, that's divorce material.

 

Last thing I want during sleep, is to be held. That won't make me feel any safer. I'll feel safe, knowing I'm getting a good night sleep. This means I'm safe to drive, in the morning.

[Rhaenys]

It ain't gonna reduce stress when one partner has the flu and the other is next in line to get it.

[WoodwindWhistler]

 

On 2/10/2018 at 6:52 PM, umbasa said:

Oh boy, where to start. 

 

Meditation don't work on me. It's not because I find it embarrassing  or I feel vulnerable (what is usually said to me) but because it is asking for the impossible. My therapist tried to get me to do it but whatever it requires to make it effective? I don't have it. Same reason hypnosis also doesn't work on me. My mind is far too active and making me sit still and try to lose myself or focus on one particular thing only makes my mind go into overdrive. Plus, I am doubtful it (like hypnosis) actually works as intended. People can go "oh, give it a chance" but that is like me saying to them "Believe the sky is pink with yellow spots." No matter how hard they try or how much they squint, they're simply not gonna.

 

I have also tried meds and those knock me out but I don't feel any more refreshed by it. How I feel when I come to is the same as how I felt when I went under. It feels like a pause button and not a remedy. Plus, the side effects. Some of which sure aren't labelled on the box (it knocks you out a little too well, if you catch my drift).

 

As for what made it better, that was because my sleep paralysis subsided. And the thing with that is although we know the mechanics of why it happens no one knows what can trigger it (you can pick from a dozen possible reasons, none have ever been pinpointed) thus no one knows why it can suddenly go away. Thankfully, I have been sleep paralysis free for a few years now and I sure hope it stays that way. I fucking despise sleep paralysis.

What type of meditation are we talking about? The sitting still and not thinking about anything is a minuscule cross-section.

[from another thread]

"There are as many types of meditation as there are sports. Zen even involves finding an activity that is meditative. Tai chi and dervish dance involve motion as well. I like a book called How to Meditate by Lawrence Leshawn, written in the 70s. It gives an overview of types of purely *mental* meditation. I mostly do energy and chi meditation, without much instruction at the moment. 

I mean, heck, search Youtube for "guided meditation." Type in specifically what you want help with- anger issues, anxiety, whatever." 

Something to do with motion would probably work better for you- give you something to concentrate on- balance, precision- and give your jittery brain a break. 

Or brain entrainment frequencies.