Adachiku Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 So, I’ve been pondering whether I’m romantic or not. My last squish/crush/dunno was about 10 years ago (discounting celebrities and fictional characters), but now that I think about them from an aro/ace perspective, I’m not even sure they were squishes or crushes, so maybe someone could help me out. No 1: I was around 15, I think. He was in my class, I thought he was good looking. I remember that I wanted to spend time with him and wanted to know everything about him. I even began listening to the same songs he indicated liking (not to me personally - I’ve always been good at listening in on other’s conversations). At some point he got himself a gf, and then another, and then my interest faded. No 2: My last year of high school, she was in my class. I thought she was cool and also good looking. Once again, I wanted to be close to her and know everything about her. Then high school was over and I didn’t see her for years. We met again when she visited me during my year abroad. It was ... strange. I still liked her a lot and enjoyed spending time with her alone, but I didn’t feel a lot of connection. No 3: First year of college. I met her at a lesbian youth group (I though I might be lesbian back then). I thought she was cool, I wanted to be alone with her, wanted to know everything about her, began listening to the same music - you notice a pattern. Then I actually was alone with her for about ten minutes and told her I had a crush on her. And she said that she didn’t want to date anyone right now (until she did like six months later). It broke my heart. No 4: A few college years later. She was cute and intelligent. Okay, I mostly liked her for her good looks. I wanted to be alone with her, know more about her - and she was more into dating random guys. I graduated and that was that. I mean, I guess those were romantic crushes? But it’s been so long, I’m no longer sure. Also, I’m not sure what I wanted with them in the long term, after I had gotten to know them. I’m fairly certain I never imagined any of them naked, and I’m not really sure I had any domestic bliss kind of fantasies. Did I even imagine cuddling with them? (I like cuddling, for the record) So yeah, I’m confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Srslydunno Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 My only-ever crush was when I was in the last class of middle school, on a fictional character from a book. But I wanted him more in a friend-like way, and I got over it really fast Link to post Share on other sites
JMichael Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 It's hard to tell, they definitely represent some kind of attraction or draw. For me squishes tend to revolve around being together to learn more about that person and enjoy a common pursuit or fandom, whereas a crush is more about wanting to spend time with the person to know them, be close and be able to share myself in a vulnerable way like hugs, holding hands, cuddling, very personal conversation, etc. Don't know if that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Falcon7 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 They all sound like 'squish' to me. If you don't wish to be in relationship with them, that's squish. Link to post Share on other sites
Adachiku Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 17 hours ago, Falcon7 said: They all sound like 'squish' to me. If you don't wish to be in relationship with them, that's squish. Well, that’s the thing, I did want them to be my bf/gf, despite not having any clue about relationships (I still don’t). Link to post Share on other sites
Falcon7 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 2 hours ago, Adachiku said: Well, that’s the thing, I did want them to be my bf/gf, despite not having any clue about relationships (I still don’t). Hmm maybe you are romantic ace, I guess? In this case it is likely to be crush. Link to post Share on other sites
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