TheCatCameBack Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Hiya! straight girl here, and I just thought I'd add that things like cheating, catcalling, single-shaming, objectifying people, and liking someone solely for their sexual parts doesn't make logical sense to most sexual people either. On a logical level, most sexual people have complained and not been able to make sense of all these things. Sex is objectively gross, afterall. On an emotional level though... yes. Yes, all sexual people are to some degree hooked on sex or the idea of sex. The reasoning behind a lot of those weird, and often creepy, behaviors present in sexual culture is purely emotional. Sexual stuff comes with some weird and intense emotions, and intense emotions make people do absurd things. It's kinda like craving chocolate cake. Except there are billboards of chocolate cake everywhere. Most media includes chocolate cake. You walk out the door and everyone's wearing chocolate cake T-shirts. You haven't eaten anything in days, and you're salivating, and you really want that chocolate cake. You can smell the light, fluffy, chocolate-y goodness everywhere, and it shows up in your dreams. Even if you've never tried chocolate cake before, even if you originally thought it unhealthy to eat something so sugar-filled... for some guttural reason you can't even explain to yourself, you f***ing want that chocolate cake. Ultimately, however, chocolate cake and sex aren't the same thing because sex isn't an object or a resource. It's an (often emotionally intimate/intense) action that people consent to. I think what happens is that sexual people start looking at other people like they're chocolate cake when they're hungry, and that's where we get all this nonsensical stuff like being with someone solely for their chocolate cake. Link to post Share on other sites
verymelancholic Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 "sEx Is WhAt MaKeS uS hUmAn" No, MUSIC is what makes us human. Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 There's many... 1) what does the concept of "hot" really mean? This is how far I got with my pondering on another post: On 5/19/2019 at 7:37 AM, naakka said: Also, I've noticed how hard it's to grasp what makes one "hot". I can tell if one is cute, pretty, handsome, sexy etc. But I often get surprised by the looks of people my friends call hot. I mean, in my eyes they look just completely normal/ average in most cases and I couldn't tell them apart from the rest of the people. They don't have any sort of "super hot aura" as I'd expect them to have, based on my friends behavior. "Hot" must be the adjective that solely describes your subjective sexual attraction to someone, as it doesn't seem to have any objective feature an ace could recognize 2) why people stay in abusive relationships, even if they had the change to leave? The "bad guy hot guy" type of things and "he loves me so much but he's just so protective he sometimes can't control himself" type of romanticized bullshit? Seriously, is that a thing? Or just helpless people trying to convince themselves things are alright? 3) desire for random people is really a thing? 4) is it really so that some allosexual people just can't be friends with the people of the sex of their sexual orientation? Like, it just won't work out or they're doomed to end up at bed? Even if they decided not to? 5) sexuality overall. For me it seems like this uncontrollable unpredictible force that makes sensible people lose their senses. Is it really so that you can't controll it without specific training and strong willpower? 6) wanting to have children. 7) do allosexual people really think life without sex is nothing but unhappy? Or do they say it because of they don't like deviant people? Or they're jealous? Or what? 8 ) also the sex. I feel like it's very overrated. Do allosexual people really think it's the best thing ever? In the whole world? Or is that a picture created by media? Do they ever get disappointed and think it's not worth all the struggle? Or bored with sex and have a something better to do? Does sex always win, if it was in their hands? Link to post Share on other sites
KuraTheChibiSleepingBeauty Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 As for 2, some people have very few options, and often feel that they can't leave, because of financial difficulties or other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 2 hours ago, naakka said: 2) why people stay in abusive relationships, even if they had the change to leave? The "bad guy hot guy" type of things and "he loves me so much but he's just so protective he sometimes can't control himself" type of romanticized bullshit? Seriously, is that a thing? Or just helpless people trying to convince themselves things are alright? At that point it becomes more psychological. It's called 'Stockholm Syndrome' and it's a legitimate concern. It takes a long time to develop, but because of humanity's ability to feel empathy and social pack bonding, well...the line in abusive relationships can get severely blurred: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I think the one of the stupidest things in the world is how people **** up their lives cause they couldn’t keep it in their pants. I’d understand maybe accepting bribes or something cause that would give you meaningful resources that are essential to your survival but there’s no excuse for some of these sex scandals on the news. I don’t understand #2 and #4 either @naakka. I know there’s a deeper psychological aspect to #2 but I’d be outta there so fast. And you best believe I’m gonna take precautions to defend myself if the person is a psycho who’d come after me if I left. Romanticized abuse is like my #1 hated thing in fiction cause it’s just revolting to me. It’s part of the reason I can’t stand the warped version of “tsundere” characters in modern anime and fiction. They’re more like violent psychopaths with severe anger management issues rather than actual “tsundere” individuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 1) Porn; from what I’ve heard from people in my school it sounds like half of the people are addicted to it. 2) Revealing Clothing: it just looks uncomfortable and impractical most of the time. Other times, why would I even want to look at what’s being shown by it? 3) Sex drive: I don’t understand the thought process that someone would have related to this or why it’s considered an amazing thing by people. 4) Boobs and butts: both are places with a lot of fat, and are meant for specific things. Why am I supposed to care about another person’s excretory system for instance? 5) Going through hell for the opportunity of a relationship that’s doomed to fail. Why go out of the way for a relationship that you know isn’t going to last more than a few weeks? All of my friends seem to do this and I’m always shaking my head. 6) The mindset of wanting sex and finding stuff related to it to be cool: I can’t reallt explain this more than the fact that I get a headache trying to figure this out. Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 7 hours ago, Feys&Florets said: At that point it becomes more psychological. It's called 'Stockholm Syndrome' and it's a legitimate concern. It takes a long time to develop, but because of humanity's ability to feel empathy and social pack bonding, well...the line in abusive relationships can get severely blurred: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome Yea, I think that's the reality in some relationships, unfortunately. I just wonder if that's the case always. For example, some women are atracted to "bad boys" even before they start dating, like that's "a thing" for them. I don't understand do they really get someting out of abuse, or are they actually just talking about rougher sex without abuse (like, they still want to have "safe words" and stuff). Like, sometimes being "bad" sounds to me a synonym for "sexually active partner", "S&M" or simply "perverted". 4 hours ago, Laplace said: I don’t understand #2 and #4 either @naakka. I know there’s a deeper psychological aspect to #2 but I’d be outta there so fast. And you best believe I’m gonna take precautions to defend myself if the person is a psycho who’d come after me if I left. Romanticized abuse is like my #1 hated thing in fiction cause it’s just revolting to me. It’s part of the reason I can’t stand the warped version of “tsundere” characters in modern anime and fiction. They’re more like violent psychopaths with severe anger management issues rather than actual “tsundere” individuals. Yea, that's a thing I can't understand. Do people actually wish abuse to happen? Or is it just some sort of image they don't actually want to happen in reality? In the case of anime/manga, I guess you just need more and more extreme things to get attention for there's so many series. Anyhow, I don't really like how words (like tsundere) are eventually used the way they didn't originally mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I find myself weird. I know I'm the one in the tiny minority. That said, the only thing I don't understand is kinks. I get preferences, but some of the things people are into just 🤯.... defy my understanding and make me question humanity as a species 🙃 Link to post Share on other sites
Kaisa Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 1. Bragging about how many times someone got laid or with how many people they did it- I don't see this as anything interesting or reason to be proud of. I especially hate guys talking about "finally sleeping with that girl" to their mates. I don't care if some people like to sleep around and I'm not going to tell them that they should stop or whatever, because it's their life and their choice however...I will just not understand why some people treat it like they are getting some extra points to their social status. I just don't get it. 2. The need to lose virginity- I don't understand why some people correlate being a virgin with being a weirdo/outcast/loser. I think it's a private thing and don't get why some people insist that virgins should finally "get it done". No one should feel pressured to have sex or lose their virginity. 3. Cheating- I don't understand why would people cheat on their partners/spouses. If you love someone why would you feel the need to betray them? 4. Obsession with butts- for me a butt is a butt. Of course it looks nice when it's toned but some people are literally crazy about the size/shape of butts. I don't think that it's just an ace thing, though, cause I know sexuals who share my views on that aspect. 5. One night stands- I just want to emphasise- I would never tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do when it comes to their life- if someone likes one night stands and does it regularly, I understand it's their personal choice etc but...I personally wouldn't be able to have sex with a random guy. I just wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 Pornography. How do heterosexual guys enjoy watching some other guy’s genitalia? Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 6 hours ago, Telecaster68 said: We mentally edit them out. Or here's a better idea: Pretend you're the man getting the action. What about guys who watch gangbangs specifically to watch the woman and thinking of her pleasure? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 Looks Like A Lot Of Straight Dudes Are Watching Gay Porn, Science Says Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 1 hour ago, Telecaster68 said: These will be the same ones who go online looking for 'wank buddies' but are Definitely Not Gay, No Sir! So at least 20% of straight men are actually gay according to you regardless of what they say because you find their porn habits a touch too threatening? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I find ghost hunting weird. I love ghost stories and horror in general, but if you can see it and film it doesn't that make it natural not supernatural? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 @PaganUnicorn there are soooo many ghost pictures! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 It should be obvious as an asexual I find all sexual things weird so I chose ghost hunting. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 @PaganUnicorn how can you be sure? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Did it have to be sexual? I thought OP just chose sexual things because that was what they thought was weird. I am more than likely wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Joe the Stoic Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I find our (asexual) memes weird and cringe-worthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Joe the Stoic Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Just now, PaganUnicorn said: Some arent bad imo It's always stuff about being needlessly oblivious to sex or being cultish-ly anti-sex, though. I haven't seen one good meme about asexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Cronchy Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 For me I just find it really hard to understand why sex is so hyped up in the media. Like every day it’s shoved in our faces that sex feels great, that it’s awesome, that it’s a vital part in every relationship. It’s really discouraging and in my opinion idealistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 17 minutes ago, CBC said: Like spray cheese in an aerosol can. I saw some of that in the States once. Why, America, why? Oh man, that just has me thinking about the Cheese Girl ad from The Journeyman Project games. And this is something aces (and everyone else) will surely find weird, so here it is in all of its cheesy glory. Since I'm sure nobody here knows what that series is, they were basically point-and-click adventure games centered around time travel. This game would leave you stranded in the vacuum of space at one point, so you had to have some of this Cheese Girl to use as a means of propulsion. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't even actually work in reality, but none of these games took themselves super seriously... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 29 minutes ago, CBC said: spray cheese in an aerosol can Because who really needs toothpaste? Or to ever have a working colon ever again? I mean what else are they going to put in our bloated, obese bodies when we need an I.V.? 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 @Telecaster68, I'd have thought it fairly obvious where they come from Link to post Share on other sites
AceAnimeFan Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 Attraction; I've asked people to describe it but I can never understand what they say. Also, why do people want to have sex? There are so many negatives and basically no positives; if it's just about pleasure (another thing I don't understand) why involve another person? why not just take care of it yourself? Literally so many bad things can happen to you (various diseases, pregnancy, etc.) and yet so many people actively seek it out. Also, the exchange of bodily fluids is disgusting. Boobs/buts being attractive (they are just deposits of fat and tissue, how is that attractive?) Romance/desire for relationships Desire to procreate Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 6 hours ago, AceAnimeFan said: Attraction; I've asked people to describe it but I can never understand what they say. Also, why do people want to have sex? There are so many negatives and basically no positives; if it's just about pleasure (another thing I don't understand) why involve another person? why not just take care of it yourself? Literally so many bad things can happen to you (various diseases, pregnancy, etc.) and yet so many people actively seek it out. Also, the exchange of bodily fluids is disgusting. Boobs/buts being attractive (they are just deposits of fat and tissue, how is that attractive?) Romance/desire for relationships Desire to procreate I don’t understand a lot of this as well. I remember reading in my psych textbook last year that oral is considered one of the “safer” things for people to do 🤮. One thing that really doesn’t make sense to me is the concept of masturbation, I only found out what that word meant last year and am confused about how that is a normal thing for people to do. My psych teacher talked about it with Freudian stages and said that it’s easy to see when a little boy has “discovered their penis” 🤮. It doesn’t make sense to me and I doubt that it ever will. Plenty of other things don’t make sense to me... Link to post Share on other sites
naakka Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 20 hours ago, AceAnimeFan said: if it's just about pleasure (another thing I don't understand) why involve another person? why not just take care of it yourself? Exactly. I've gotten impression it's not just pleasure, but also the emotional bond apparently grows stronger when two (allo) people have sex. That's the argument people most often give when asked why wouldn't they date ace people. I just don't get it. In my eyes it's quite the opposite; sex is just that difficult and time-consuming chore you're supposed to do in the relationship - while you could spend all that time and effort to discussing with your partner, doing all sorts of different hobbies and stuff with them and really learn what type of person they are on every aspect of life. On the top of it all, I've seen huge amounts of people online telling that if the sex just works, everything else can be compromized. What makes it so good that you'd priorize it over everything else? People seem to think good sex fixes everything and there's no emotions without sex ...and I'll probably never be able to understand that. Apologizes for the long comment ^^' Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 When everyone starts talking about/having sex (and we're like why????). Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted September 14, 2019 Share Posted September 14, 2019 On 9/12/2019 at 6:28 PM, AceAnimeFan said: Also, why do people want to have sex? There are so many negatives and basically no positives; if it's just about pleasure (another thing I don't understand) why involve another person? why not just take care of it yourself? Literally so many bad things can happen to you (various diseases, pregnancy, etc.) and yet so many people actively seek it out. Also, the exchange of bodily fluids is disgusting. I'm happily celibate so agree with this thought process, but I can see the appeal. Never bothered to try it. Attraction to your preferred gender can no more be explained than attraction to the opposite for sexual people Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.