Confused about my orientation

[mae00]

 

I'm sorry if this isn't the place for this then if someone could point me in the right direction i'd be grateful

 

I’ve been racking my brain about my romantic orientation for a long time and I would be really appreciative of some insight.

 

I’m pretty bad with my emotions in general anyway I never really know what I’m feeling, but when it comes to relationships and romance I’m double confused.

 

-       I feel like I never have the desire/need to be in a romantic relationship and feel uncomfortable when I try to imagine myself in that situation.

 

-       If I get close to a person I start to think ‘oh I might be able to be more than just friends with this person’ and so I’ll rack my brain about it and come to realise I don’t think like that at all and I’d rather just be friends. (has happened a lot)

 

-       I’ve tried to make/convince myself that I have feelings when in reality it feels really forced and uncomfortable.

 

-       I’m always extremely happy on my own/with my friends. I don’t feel I need/want anything more.

 

-       I don’t dislike romance I just don’t feel or imagine like it could happen to me.

 

-       I have been in 1 relationship in my 21 years (a few years back) and although I felt like I loved them, it took a looong time for me to commit to it and I still felt fairly uncomfortable through the duration. I wasn’t very touchy (holding hands/cuddling) and was told a lot that I ‘wasn’t affectionate’ and ‘not girlfriend like’ (they weren’t particularly nice anyway though)

 

-       I never really ‘crush’ on people but I do think ‘I’d rough n tumble with you’ given the chance.

 

-       I feel like I can’t properly distinguish the line between those type of ‘feelings’ and not.

 

I’m not asking anyone to tell me what my orientation is but any opinions/guidance and a point of direction would be so so appreciated.