Skycaptain Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Appeal. Maybe the way they wobble around like a bowl of jelly promoting childhood flashbacks? Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 14 hours ago, LaSirena said: Telecaster: Please don’t take this to be confrontational, but I am very perplexed as to why you are on here. Not just this thread, why you are a member of AVEN. Not that I don’t think you’re allowed to be, why do you want to be? You are clearly not asexual. I appreciate the other perspective but I get it everywhere all the time. My wife is effectively asexual. I mostly post in Friends and Allies but sometimes venture into other areas, quite often when there's particularly egregious misconceptions about sex being floated by asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 @LaSirena, I commiserate with you on your last comments, unfortunately I fell victim to this on another thread. Passive aggression aside, I don't think we need explaining or explained to, as we stand as valid , successful people in our own right. Many of us have gone on to great things because we haven't had the distraction of sexuality. Having tried the 'expected lifestyle' ( I have a daughter of 27) I wouldn't swap being ace for anything! As for butts: although I never notice these things in that way - Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I'm sorry if it comes across like that, and probably in your case, you don't need input from the likes of me. However, there are examples every day of asexuals who through inexperience and reliance on rather warped information from peers and the media have either no idea or strange ideas about how sexuality actually works. For instance, the most common is the idea that sexual attraction means getting physically aroused at the mere sight of hot people, when clearly it doesn't. Surely it's better to have people who actually know what it is because they experience it, than not correcting these mistakes? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 That's what this site is for- expelling the 'fake info' and why it has a whole wiki to itself. Happily, people can put up their queries on here and others who have been through the whole thing can shed some light of experience in order to help. I wish I'd had AVEN decades ago, when I had to pretend to be what was expected and live a lie. Thankfully one year was enough! Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 It's great if they do, but the forum seems more popular, and it's easier to get a handle on things the wiki might not be addressing, or explaining well. A bunch of info on a wiki isn't educating anyone if they don't read it, can't understand it or if doesn't answer their question. Is your position basically that sexuals should just shut up? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 On 16-3-2018 at 1:08 PM, Telecaster68 said: ... Is your position basically that sexuals should just shut up? I like the input of the sexuals, because although I meet sexuals IRL, it’s not customary to talk with them in depth about sex. And I only ever go to the forum. I don't look at the wiki, too boring, I prefer to get my info from interacting with real people. Link to post Share on other sites
Jea Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I like looking at butts of slim people of all genders in non-skinny trousers. No desire to touch or anything (I'm aro ace and kinda sex-repulsed), it's just aesthetically pleasing to me, even though I admit it's weird. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Honestly I have no idea. I could sit here and describe an attribute about a cute or sexy butt and then proclaim “that is why!” But really? I just don’t know. I see a hot set of hips and... and what? It’s just attractive. Nice to look about. Wanna cuddle with them. Get close up to them. Dance maybe Why do you like looking at a pretty sunset? You just do. There are facets about it you especially like. But why? It’s just nice to experience and think about right? Gives you some good feels to appreciate. But... but why? Describing that I like a thing, because I especially like aspects of the thing... that’s just not explaining why... that’s just better identifying what I like. But... why do I like it? .... ”she’s cute” ”why?” ”because she’s got nice hips!” ”why” ”because I enjoy them!” ”why?” ”because I have good feelings when I look and think about them” ”why?” ”because that’s the way my brain and body are coded” ”but why is she different from them!” ”oh, they’re cute too. But they aren’t as cute as her, because she’s got a cuter way of holding her posture, and her hair is so pretty!” .... so like... hopefully that helps? And really it’s impacted not just by looks but by personality, cleverness, wisdom, ease to talk with, history, emotional bonding, does she like me back? And especially history, and emotional bonding, and also history. But looks are definitely important. All of that influences how attractive a good butt is. At least for me. I mean the hips in and of themselves are attractive. But without the rest of the person, it isn’t the same. And honest... I just don’t know why. There’s a significant random element to a person’s attractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 No @Telecaster68, my opinion is not that sexuals should just shut up. My position is that sexuals should come her with an open mind and not an invalidating one. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 The trouble with having too open a mind is your brain falls out. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 5 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said: The trouble with having too open a mind is your brain falls out. Could be worse, you could approach this thread with too open a butt Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Good one @Skycaptain! Keep 'em coming! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I find that an open mind is an expansive one - it will learn more than one with predetermined pathways. I'm with Stephen Hawking on this. learning ˈləːnɪŋ/ noun the acquisition of knowledge or skills through study, experience, or being taught. "these children experienced difficulties in learning" synonyms: study, studying, education, schooling, tuition, teaching, academic work, instruction, training; More knowledge acquired through study, experience, or being taught. "I liked to parade my learning in front of my sisters" synonyms: scholarship, knowledge, education, erudition, culture, intellect, academic attainment, acquirements, enlightenment, illumination, edification, book learning, insight, information, understanding, sageness, wisdom, sophistication; pedantry; letters "his second book displayed the astonishing range of his learning Note the words 'insight' and 'understanding'. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Let's get past the snide innuendo. What exactly am I being invalidating about? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 On 04/02/2018 at 10:17 AM, Telecaster68 said: I have to say, to a sexual, this thread is like watching people trying to explain what's so great about Bach solely in terms of how a pipe organ works. Well, lets take the example of Stephen Hawking. @Telecaster68 He never saw the 'big bang' himself, but there's enough data out there to draw conclusions, be able to measure and test them out, then adjust his point of view if the data doesn't match his hypotheses. Just because a person doesn't have attraction themselves, doesn't mean they can't draw their own conclusions from the vast array of data out there without having to experience it for themselves. You could explain this like 'living vicariously' through those we know that experience these things. Some people who don't want to actually engage in sex still have feelings of attraction. The human experience is very complex and overlaps in many ways. What binds people on AVEN is the lack of interest in actually having sex with another person. ...and that's just as valid as being a cis-heterosexual male or female. On 15/03/2018 at 5:19 PM, LaSirena said: Telecaster: Please don’t take this to be confrontational, but I am very perplexed as to why you are on here. Not just this thread, why you are a member of AVEN. Not that I don’t think you’re allowed to be, why do you want to be? You are clearly not asexual. I appreciate the other perspective but I get it everywhere all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 It was a joke, with ten likes from other asexuals, so clearly one that was easy for some people to see was a joke. Not sure what the other quote is aimed at showing. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Well someone else felt that same way as I did , hence the second quote. Obviously there's something wrong with me that I can't see the joke? See what you do? This is invalidating my feelings. See now? Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 What did I say that invalidates your feelings? What's the quote? The other quote is simply a completely legitimate question I was more than happy to answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Telecaster68 said: It was a joke, with ten likes from other asexuals, so clearly one that was easy for some people to see was a joke. So, what is the underlying assumption about people who may not see it as a joke? Invoking ten others as back up implies that the 'minority opinion' is the what the other two of us saw. And, as lots of people have no doubt experienced, to be the 'minority' is....to have your opinions, experiences and identity brushed aside. This isn't what sites like this were set up to do and , I may add what quite a few well demarcated tactics of control include, whether done subconsciously, as I assume you have done here. Sometimes what we write can be ambiguous and often give away our own underlying issues. I welcome your interest, as a sexual man, in learning about the Ace community in all its diversity, so that you can put your own issues with your relationship in a new and possibly more positive light. Sexual people are welcome here, but not to take any frustrations about ace people, nor to assume the mantle of being the font of all knowledge about sexuality, because every sexual person is different, just as is every asexual person. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I still don't see how me pointing out it was a joke invalidates you. At most, it implies you didn't get the joke, which is hardly invalidating anything or anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
paperbackreader Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Wow, well, for its worth, I find the debates and opinions has been really interesting from all sides and I don't think anyone really was seeking to invalidate or annoy or be the authority on a certain subject. I don't think any of us are going out on a limb to annoy or invalidate the other. Sometimes things said are read in a different way than intended by the author and sometimes people feel this is sufficient evidence of another agenda... The truth is even the most effective of semantists or rhetoricians can't always deter against misunderstandings, and I'd hate to see a society talking like lawyers all the time with disclaimers everywhere and from time to time that's what 8 feel like we're getting to... Back to butts, I remember when I was about 13, one of my class mates was pointing out to me the shape of my science teacher's butt when she bent over to reach the bunsen burner in the table in front of us... It's not even like I knew this classmate well. To this day I remember the complete and utter confusion I had about the point of that conversation and how it arose. I bit my tongue and did a butt watching experiment for curiosity sake and I can honestly say I don't give a shit about any butt except my dog's where it's my duty to keep his reasonably clean to ensure he doesn't contaminate my home... Also, IMHO The best version of I like Big Butts ever recorded : Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 (((ISIHAC))) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Radio 4 @paperbackreader! Priceless! Well, I'll just be a nice submissive little old lady , back down then and go back to my corner , that's what I'm supposed to do. One more thread I don't feel comfortable with, so I'll stick to closed ones from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 13 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said: (((ISIHAC))) ISIHAC means I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue me neither Link to post Share on other sites
paperbackreader Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Nooooooooo don't hide in a corner sobs and it's certainly not what I expect old ladies to do, I mean look at these!! http://fox2now.com/2017/12/01/security-video-shows-nanny-chasing-down-package-thief/ https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2011/feb/07/woman-robbers-handbag Link to post Share on other sites
paperbackreader Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Yeah, I was there at that ISIHAC recording, I can distinguish which laugh is mine from that recording, haha... Someone should start a mornington crescent round in the games section, baffle all those not familiar...! ISIHAC is a great acronym, ISIHAC about butts... I think the British concept of 'banter' can sometimes come off wrongly to those not always used to it. Imagine trying to explain this to an outsider, 'yeah we lightly troll each other to signal our acceptance of each other and test each others competence at humour. It's not about believing in those insults or putting people down but actually just to see whether they're really our friends or not. ' I tried explaining this to my fellow countrymen and they just looked at me like I've had a concussion... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 It's no surprise to me that I'm having messages of support from others who have had the same feelings I just had on this thread, maybe this little old lady isn't about to be silenced by male banter. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 @paperbackreader, these old ladies are tame compared to me when I get started! Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 It's a shame those people don't want to say these things to my 'face' isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
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