Srslydunno Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 It's not a big deal, but it bothers me sometimes and I'm curious how many people feel like this. So, have you ever felt like you're missing out a very important thing because of your aromanticism? Presonally I do, espacially when I see those happy people in love. I don't understand them and the concept of love is unknown and confusing for me. But at the same time I wish I would feel like them, be as happy as they are. I've never had a crush, not even speaking of ,,somebody special,, even though I've been in a relationship a few times before. It just feels like I'm kinda empty, 'never seeing the glory of love' in my friend's worlds. So, anybody else? Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 No but that might be because I don't relate or understand a lot of somewhat "common" experiences? I don't enjoy coffee, alcohol, or weed which (in my circles) is something people usually bond or socialize over. However in each of those environments I find my own way to enjoy things (hot chocolate, a Shirley Temple, and enjoying the outside until the air clears). I think there are a lot of beautiful things in life, perhaps not lauded as much as the whirlwind process of romantic infatuation, but I'd hardly say I'm missing it. It's happening all around me, after all. I find such things really cool in the context of it happening to other people but when it comes to myself it always seemed so unnatural. If it happens then it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. That's how I like to view things! That being said, I have tried my best to see things from the point of view of my friends. While I might not be able to understand them through my own experiences, by talking with them about their relationships when they decide to open up to me, I can see why their bond with this other person is good for them. Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 1 hour ago, Srslydunno said: It's not a big deal, but it bothers me sometimes and I'm curious how many people feel like this. So, have you ever felt like you're missing out a very important thing because of your aromanticism? Presonally I do, espacially when I see those happy people in love. I don't understand them and the concept of love is unknown and confusing for me. But at the same time I wish I would feel like them, be as happy as they are. I've never had a crush, not even speaking of ,,somebody special,, even though I've been in a relationship a few times before. It just feels like I'm kinda empty, 'never seeing the glory of love' in my friend's worlds. So, anybody else? Am I missing out on something I never really wanted in the first place? No. That's not to say I haven't felt lonely, because I've had some real problems with loneliness for most of my life, especially when I was a teenager and a young adult (early twenties). I'd watch other people get together and enjoy each other's company and know I wasn't invited to join in and that hurt in ways, that, even now, I still struggle with. And this isn't about having a romantic relationship either - this was all about finding people with whom I shared common interests and could become friends and also maturing to the point where I realized that being happy has to come from within. The trick, I have found is to find the right combination of people who share your interests and are willing to share their interests in turn. When I was about 20 or so, I finally got the courage to join a local science fiction club. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I've met some really interesting people over the years, some of whom have been friends for more than 20 years now. We can get together, as much as introverts tend to get together, and enjoy each other's company, talk about books, movies, and other subjects we all enjoy. Not all of our interests overlap and that adds a spice to the discussion because learning something new about a friend is always a great thing. You need to find what makes you happy Srslydunno. Discover a passion, go out and join a hobby club or volunteer for something you're interested in doing. Find people with whom you can connect. Be open to change and differences. You'll find, in time, that your empty places will fill up in surprising and unexpected ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Falcon7 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Well, maybe you can see 'relationship' from other perspectives. It's certainly not always a nice thing. Many friends around me told me how much they are suffered by not getting reply for one day, miscommunication, the unexpected reactions of partners, how to confess... These kind of things really dominate their daily lives. They really cannot enjoy coffee or travel etc. I'm aro ace and everything has pro and con. I've never been relationship at all, but never have felt I'm missing something. You can find many other things which bring you happiness Link to post Share on other sites
Loopti Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 Sorta. Mostly because I really like the idea of emotional intimacy, and that's just not something often culturally accepted outside of romantic relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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