ReyGraves Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 I’ve been thinking lately, how come I only really got dysphoria after I started questioning? I mean, I was fine with wearing dresses, loved it even. (yes, yes, I’m aware expression vs identity). But now they just sit in my closet (nvm the fact they may be too small by now). Like, did I feel it but never knew the name? Why did I like wearing dresses then but not now? Did I just become more aware of society and the connotations of wearing a dress (feminine girl)? I tried on an old bra and dress a couple weeks ago and it made me so dysohoric (this isn’t me). (btw I completely forgot how uncomfortable normal bras were, geez I’m wondering why anyone would wear anything but sports bras.) Honestly? I love the thought of wearing dresses, they’re beautiful and sometimes you just find the right one that twirls just right. But in practice it makes me nauseous. I also loved my hips and the waistline they gave me. But sometimes they're just too wide. I just find it weird how drastically I flipped on this. Maybe it was sutble dysphoria. I certainly have more confidence now. My social anxiety has drastically decreased and I feel like I’m living my life (as opposed to the girl I was living as before. When I think back sometimes it feels like I watched a movie of someone else’s life and who I am now just popped into the world with 17 years of experience). I’m not sure what this post was supposed to achieve but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Link to post Share on other sites
InfiniteNull Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Maybe it means that you enjoy the idea of dresses and certain women's clothes which masked the dysphoric feelings before. As you became more aware of yourself the feelings of dysphoria couldn't hide behind your appreciation for the clothes. There are plenty of cismen who like women's clothing but don't have the complication of transgender feelings and thoughts. I hope this isn't offensive to say and I am not saying that you are the same as a crossdresser... but crossdressing is kind of a masculine thing to do, but it wouldn't be as fun if the person who is doing it has reasons to reject symbols that they feel represent feelings of gender dysphoria. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 I dunno. I have the exact opposite experience. I didn’t wear dresses and I had no idea why. Then I started to enjoy them when I realised why. Lol, masculine crossdressing. Plenty of people like dresses but feel odd /off wearing them. Dresses are so... flashy. Either way, I think it may be you just enjoy dresses out of the social context they have. This is definitely my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 5 hours ago, ReyGraves said: I’ve been thinking lately, how come I only really got dysphoria after I started questioning? I mean, I was fine with wearing dresses, loved it even. (yes, yes, I’m aware expression vs identity). But now they just sit in my closet (nvm the fact they may be too small by now). Like, did I feel it but never knew the name? Why did I like wearing dresses then but not now? Did I just become more aware of society and the connotations of wearing a dress (feminine girl)? I tried on an old bra and dress a couple weeks ago and it made me so dysohoric (this isn’t me). (btw I completely forgot how uncomfortable normal bras were, geez I’m wondering why anyone would wear anything but sports bras.) Honestly? I love the thought of wearing dresses, they’re beautiful and sometimes you just find the right one that twirls just right. But in practice it makes me nauseous. I also loved my hips and the waistline they gave me. But sometimes they're just too wide. I just find it weird how drastically I flipped on this. Maybe it was sutble dysphoria. I certainly have more confidence now. My social anxiety has drastically decreased and I feel like I’m living my life (as opposed to the girl I was living as before. When I think back sometimes it feels like I watched a movie of someone else’s life and who I am now just popped into the world with 17 years of experience). I’m not sure what this post was supposed to achieve but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ This is absolutely me! I was completely fine with wearing all of the “girl’s” clothes in my wardrobe even while I still identified as nonbinary, but once I started wearing guy’s clothes and a sports bra/binder... All of those things now collect dust. They may not be dressses, but they’re still cut to look feminine and accent the parts of myself that I can’t look at without feeling ill. I never felt bad wearing them before, but I certainly can’t now. I also relate to the movie thing. I was comfortable (dare I say even happy) as a girl when I younger, but as soon as I started questioning I just uncovered all of this dysphoria I had been repressing and I realized how ill it all made me, the she pronouns and the girly name and the clothes. I was once happy as a girl. But now I’m not. And I don’t really feel connected to the kid who was happy as a girl. It’s, like you put it, I was watching a movie of someone else’s life. (I call it reverse body-snatching It’s more dramatic.) Link to post Share on other sites
ReyGraves Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 4 hours ago, InfiniteNull said: I hope this isn't offensive to say and I am not saying that you are the same as a crossdresser... but crossdressing is kind of a masculine thing to do, but it wouldn't be as fun if the person who is doing it has reasons to reject symbols that they feel represent feelings of gender dysphoria. This makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe I am. I guess I'll only really find out if I start to transition and once I get more confident in my identity. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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