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Was my asexuality induced during my formative years?


nnns

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Hello everyone.

 

I have come to terms that I have asexual tendencies. Relationships have never been a focus in my life, and the only times I really sought for them was to try and fit in better with my peers. Now that I have graduated from college and am finally facing reality (haha!) this identity has become more apparent to me.  It's great to find a community like this where I can feel a little bit more normal. As of now I am still navigating where I fall on the grey spectrum, and hopefully in interacting with this community I can help better distinguish what I really feel.

 

Anywho.... 

 

I have been wondering over the years why I was just never really into sex or romance like my friends were. I really am curious about the roots of asexuality and how/why one is asexual.

 

I feel there is one factor in my life that could have led to this, if I was not just born with it to begin with or for some other unknown reason:

 

Growing up I had an intense bout of depression induced by obsessive compulsive disorder. This was very traumatic for me and my family, and I was not able to completely treat it until I went off to college (7 years of untreated OCD!). My parents did not know what was going on, and I was misdiagnosed with depression by a psychiatrist. I was given antidepressants for a year, then stopped. When I took these meds I felt emotionally numb. Ever since then I continued to feel more or less the same way, just as dejected from relationships as I was back then. There have been glimmers of romance and appeal but they were never long lasting.

 

Once I was able to treat my condition I had to play this game of societal catch-up to try and learn/live out the things that unaffected people were supposed to do. So far this has gone well with no/minor bumps, except for the relationship aspect of things - I just don't care still!

 

Now given that I took these meds during my early formative years, I am wondering if the hormonal effects from the drugs could have played a factor in my development. I just want your thoughts on my circumstance. 

 

If I happened to offend somebody over my terminology/language/thoughts I apologize, I'm still very new to this environment and am still learning.  One love from Berkeley, California! 🕊

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