woodswalker Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 After my divorce I gravitated toward the Polyamory subculture...because I thought maybe I could be the "secondary" person who could have hugs, snuggles etc. without being compelled to have sex. I figured the poly people were getting plenty of sex so it would not be so compulsory as with a mono relationship. But when I went to the poly meetups it seemed like the opposite...everyone was bragging about all the relationships & sex they got. I felt like "wtf am I doing here?" and quit going. My daughter, who lives with me, is very into the Poly scene. Today one of her friends was saying how Poly was very Ace-friendly. I'm wondering if that's true and if it is worth giving it another try. For starters, when her friends visit, that's all they talk about. "I dated this one and hung out with that one and banged that other one." I'm interested in cuddle & hug friends, but I'm not interested in making this my main topic of conversation. One of the factors of asexuality for me is "sex is just not that interesting." Link to post Share on other sites
Bloc Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 My limited experience with a local poly meet up in my city was quite different. The main topic was not the sex, but the dynamics of relationships. Currently I am in a poly relationship where we cuddle and kiss a lot without sex, which is fun. I think it really depends on the person if they are ace friendly. I've also met people who just want to have as much sex as possible and see polyamory as way to get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cnyb Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 I can relate. I thought maybe some of the kink scene would be worth checking out, tie up and tickle sounds fun, but then, get pm's with some people, things go in uncomfortable directions. I got so turned off when people on the other end were getting so turned on... I guess at issue is finding a crowd that brings up sex talk less often or in a way that is less off-putting, finding a clearer way to set expectations at the outset. Only interested in poly-cuddles, kinky bondage and tickles, when people 'get' that, I guess it's easier. I was thinking meeting up with a group like at a public place, probably less ridiculous talk in different environments, maybe more comfortable meeting such people at a family restaurant and engaging in normal discussion, rather than at a poly or kink potluck in someone's home or at a dungeon. Link to post Share on other sites
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