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Cisgender female wanting top surgery


ShyKidAnomaly

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ShyKidAnomaly

Hi so I'm a cisgender female who would love to get top surgery, I'm young ( between 18 - 25) and I'm still dependent on my parents and family at this point. I haven't told them that I'm asexual or that I want the surgery even though I really want to. I think I'll be able to tell them about the asexual part pretty easily because I don't see anything wrong with it (I mean I literally am telling them I don't want to have sex lol) - although I have seen peoples stories where people didn't react well to it. With the top surgery I'm definitely more scared because I'm afraid they'll misunderstand and think I am trying to transition (I'm a tomboy and I've never really been that feminine), I know for sure I'm not transgender and I don't have a problem with being or identifying as female even though I hate my period which is very painful. I'm especially concerned about my mom because I'm pretty sure she will jump to the conclusion that I'm gay or I want to transition (she literally said she hopes I'll find a "friend girl" to me before lol). Also I think I have PCOS and I experience hirtuism on my neck and along my chin so even if I wanted to present as masculine I wouldn't have a hard time except for my height. I just don't see the reason why I should have breasts, as I said before I'm asexual, they give me NO pleasure, I have a more androgynous dress style, they make me appear larger than I am because I'm under 5 feet and I wear 40DDs. I just want them to know that this isn't about my gender I just want a flat chest; I don't even want nipples! So I'm trying to go for my a regular checkup and to see if they can check if I have pcos and I was thinking of telling my mom I'm ace in the car beforehand and then waiting and telling her I want to get top surgery during the summer. I kind of want to tell her because I know she'll most likely tell my dad but I'm also afraid for that reason because I don't want her to misexplain the situation. Does anyone have any tips on how to talk about these things? Thanks.

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I think that a good way to explain it is that getting top surgery would be like getting plastic surgery. Its only for cosmetic reasons. You don't like the way it makes you look so you want to change it. 

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I think these may be two different issues.

 

You're asexual and also you have massive boobs on a tiny frame and they're impeding your ability to live comfortably (boobs have biologic utility far beyond being objects of pleasure; if anything, "pleasure" is one of the least of their jobs :lol:). Does that sound right? In which case it isn't necessarily "top surgery" so much as "breast reduction surgery," which is a relatively routine procedure.

 

Regarding coming out as asexual - it's absolutely your choice. I'm of the opinion that it's just a label and it doesn't matter to anyone except for you and your partner, should you ever decide to pursue one. I think it might be worth separating the idea of asexuality with the idea of a breast reduction surgery, though, for the reasons I mentioned above.

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ShyKidAnomaly

Hey guys thanks for responding, Booklion27 I don't know if saying it's for cosmetic reasons would make it better or worse tbh. Chimeric the reason I was grouping them together is because I see breast as something for sexual pleasure and having to do with feeding kids, and I don't plan on having sex or feeding kids because I'm ace. And the reason I refer to it as top surgery and not breast reduction is because top surgery removes more and shapes it in a different way (even the smallest breast size doesn't look like what I want, I want a flat chest shaped a particular way), I don't want the look of top surgery specifically because I want to be a male I just like the look of it. It's like wanting a shoe and wanting that shoe not because of the brand name but because of the look of the shoe only, if the shape I want was called something else I would still want it.

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39 minutes ago, shyknit said:

don't know if saying it's for cosmetic reasons would make it better or worse tbh

Understandable, especially if you live in a place where plastic surgery is viewed negatively. 

48 minutes ago, Chimeric said:

I think it might be worth separating the idea of asexuality

I do agree with this though. Since both topics are probably going to be hard for them to understand, separating them and introducing them at different times will make it so you won't overwhelm them. Plus it makes both ideas sound less sudden to them. 

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ShyKidAnomaly

Yeah I'm definitely going to tell them I ace before telling them I want top surgery. The good thing is that they have surprised me in the past but it was for smaller things (like wanting tattoos and getting a buzzcut), I just worry there will be a difference between saying and action when it comes to bigger things like this. My dad is a very logical person where as my mom can be very emotional when it comes to reasoning. For example I recently wore a suit to a wedding and my mom kept trying to talk me out of it but she couldn't give me a good reason why (saying it's not something a young lady should wear to a formal event, it just wouldn't look right but not giving me a reason why she thought that) and when I asked my dad about what he thought he seemed to be indifferent to it/ fine with it. Also I know someone will probably say I should be patient and wait until I'm independent but I have waited. and taking in to account what's going on in my life and how it will affect my life for the next couple of years I'm worried I'll be one of those people that gets it in they're late twenties thirties and their only regret is not getting it sooner. This isn't a question for me of if but when I'll get, and I want that when to be as soon as possible.

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I actually told my mother about my intent for top surgery while I was still questioning. The biggest thing I emphasized is that these feelings persist regardless of gender and that having the amount breast tissue I had was taking a serious toll on my mental health/overall quality of life.

 

That said, my family is pretty chill. My mom did ask if I was into women, but was chill when I explained my asexuality. (I don't think she 100% gets it, because I think she's under the impression that transition would change my orientation.) Interestingly enough, my mom is actually kind of envious of my top surgery, so I think she gets the idea of people benefiting from that procedure independently of gender identity.

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ShyKidAnomaly

This is definitely a smaller issue but when I got/wanted my buzzcut and to dye my hair at 16, she was totally with me on it and after I got it she smiled and said "hey beautiful  girl" everyday for like a month, when I asked her if she would have been able to do this she said no but she was glad that I could, the more I think about it the less scared I get. ^_^

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ShyKidAnomaly

Ok so update, I told my sister in law. She asked me what was wrong and started joking with me to try and make me feel better and we started a game where I literally spelled it out to her. She said "ok, I figured" lol she identified as asexual in high school apparently and she said that for someone who knows the signs it's like I'm holding a flashing sign lol. Then I told her about the top surgery, she thinks that's fine too (although her face changed when I mentioned the nipple part because she said it made her think about nipples and that we have very different feelings towards them lol) but she says she thinks I should wait until I'm older so that my age can't be used against me and because she thinks brain development could cause a change in heart (it wont). And also, so that I can buy the surgery without my parents, but she also recognizes that it would be extremely hard for me to have to deal with the dysphoria for even longer (she studied pyschology/ neuroscience for a bit in college) and that it will only get harder (nearly impossible) to find a point within the next 5 years (I'm studying Architecture) to get surgery and recover other than this summer. She also said she wants to know what my parents say out of scientific curiosity.^_^ And regarding paying for it without my parents help I was also looking into crowdfunding and I found this website called youcaring which doesn't seem charge a fee, I'm looking more into it.

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  • 2 months later...
On 1/29/2018 at 9:03 PM, ShyKidAnomaly said:

Ok so update, I told my sister in law. She asked me what was wrong and started joking with me to try and make me feel better and we started a game where I literally spelled it out to her. She said "ok, I figured" lol she identified as asexual in high school apparently and she said that for someone who knows the signs it's like I'm holding a flashing sign lol. Then I told her about the top surgery, she thinks that's fine too (although her face changed when I mentioned the nipple part because she said it made her think about nipples and that we have very different feelings towards them lol) but she says she thinks I should wait until I'm older so that my age can't be used against me and because she thinks brain development could cause a change in heart (it wont). And also, so that I can buy the surgery without my parents, but she also recognizes that it would be extremely hard for me to have to deal with the dysphoria for even longer (she studied pyschology/ neuroscience for a bit in college) and that it will only get harder (nearly impossible) to find a point within the next 5 years (I'm studying Architecture) to get surgery and recover other than this summer. She also said she wants to know what my parents say out of scientific curiosity.^_^ And regarding paying for it without my parents help I was also looking into crowdfunding and I found this website called you caring which doesn't seem charge a fee, I'm looking more into it.

I support and agree you in terms of doing what you feel is right for your self and your body! I want the opposite route, i am a guy and had (male breast augmentation) I'm taller than you and probably larger LOL I ended up being a  size 40 full C/D my surgeon encouraged me to go larger than I initially thought to be in proportion to my overall frame. while i am pleased with the over all results at times I do struggle with them in certain situations which  I am sure you can relate to, 1) they are pretty noticeable not easy to hide  2) exercising  its good that  you have an idea in your mind what you want  though you might have to wait a couple of years to save up some money if your parents don't support you. 

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  • 1 year later...
ShyKidAnomaly

Hey guys so update, last year I did end up telling my parents that I am asexual and gender non conforming and that I want the surgery. My dad was pretty okay with the asexual part (although both of them basically said 'it's probably just a phase') but doesn't want me to get the surgery because he sees it as a want not a need and my mom didn't even really understand what asexual was until I explained it to her (she even started running through scenarios with me to better understand lol). In terms of the surgery part she seemed more receptive as a lot of the women in my family apparently have had to get breast reductions because of them being too big (one of my older cousins has like m sized O_o) so she understands that part of it and says I would probably need to get a reduction anyways even if I wasn't trying to go flat. I also started wearing binders which has helped with my confidence at school however since I'm small and have large breasts it only helps so much; but it does solidify that I definitely want them gone. I had a consultation with a doctor (Dr. Abboushi with Panacea plastic surgery) and now I am just trying to save and raise money so that I can get it done before the fall school semester starts in august. If anyone is willing to donate here is a link to my gofundme: gofundme.com/shykidanomaly. Thanks for everyone who responded and to anyone who shares or donates to my campaign. ^_^

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I'm not the type of person to tell others how they should identify, but what your describing doesn't sound like a cisgender thought process.  No disrespect, just an observation coming from a masculine afab nonbinary individual.

 

Every cis woman that I've ever spoken to has never wanted to completely remove her breasts, no matter if she was a tomboy or not.  Some do desire a reduction, but they don't want to be entirely without boobs.  I also haven't spoken to any cis person who has body image issues related to their sexual orientation, as we know that assigned sex at birth and orientation are two separate things.

 

Having the desire to be rid of primary or secondary sex characteristics is normally a huge red flag when it comes to gender issues specifically.

 

I was in a very similar boat myself.  For years I was considered a tomboy, I didn't like my physique aesthetically when I hit puberty, I wanted to be flat chested again, periods sucked, doctors are trying to diagnose me with PCOS, I don't like my body being sexualized, my parent asked if I was gay, etcetera etcetera.  I'm not saying that we are the same, or that everyone similar to me has the same experiences.  I'm just throwing it out there....you might want to reevaluate some things and deeply consider thinking about gender a little more.  You may discover something you weren't aware of.  Best of luck to you in your future endeavors. 👍

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  • 4 months later...
ClaudiaVampire

Hi ShyKid,

As a fellow cis woman under 25 who had this surgery exactly one month ago, I'd like to share my perspective!

 

I respectfully disagree with the previous poster, about the desire for a total breast removal necessarily signifying something about gender. I've never felt anything approaching dysphoria in my life. Granted, I don't feel a strong connection to femininity and don't mind being accidentally misgendered in online interactions (it would never happen in person), but the idea of taking testosterone or pursuing any other form of medical transition, even with more androgynous results in mind, is pretty ghastly for me. Conclusion: cis by default, as many people are. So yes, it's entirely possible to be a girl who just doesn't want breasts! Mine weren't even large, and I'd never been sexualized for them; I just saw them as pointless and in the way and knew I'd be happier with a flat chest. And I absolutely am!

 

(Besides, if we're at all serious about divorcing anatomy from gender expectations, including those outside the binary, we should at least be able to conceptualize female humans without breast tissue, right? Disliking certain secondary sex characteristics may be a common flag for gender issues, but it doesn't automatically make you trans or nonbinary if that's not how you see yourself.)

 

Like you, I opted out of nipple grafting. My nipples never did anything for me except embarrass me in cold weather, and I'm quite excited to face the upcoming winter without them, lol. The recovery process was much easier than I expected: I was fine shuffling around the house hours after leaving the hospital, I didn't need to take pain medication at all, and my upper-body flexibility and strength have been steadily returning. I love looking at my profile in the mirror; I love the sleek new fit of all my old shirts. I've even started to embrace lower necklines, which I always avoided in the past despite not having any real cleavage to show. If any of this is what you're hoping for from surgery, I can attest that it's wonderful, empowering, and liberating. (And, at least in my case, still entirely unconnected to gender or even sexuality.)

 

Your GoFundMe link doesn't seem to be working anymore, but if you still have a campaign going I'd love to help out however I can! And if you've already had the procedure, I hope you're equally satisfied with your results. 😊

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  • 2 months later...
On 9/9/2019 at 5:30 PM, ClaudiaVampire said:

Hi ShyKid,

As a fellow cis woman under 25 who had this surgery exactly one month ago, I'd like to share my perspective!

 

I respectfully disagree with the previous poster, about the desire for a total breast removal necessarily signifying something about gender. I've never felt anything approaching dysphoria in my life. Granted, I don't feel a strong connection to femininity and don't mind being accidentally misgendered in online interactions (it would never happen in person), but the idea of taking testosterone or pursuing any other form of medical transition, even with more androgynous results in mind, is pretty ghastly for me. Conclusion: cis by default, as many people are. So yes, it's entirely possible to be a girl who just doesn't want breasts! Mine weren't even large, and I'd never been sexualized for them; I just saw them as pointless and in the way and knew I'd be happier with a flat chest. And I absolutely am!

 

(Besides, if we're at all serious about divorcing anatomy from gender expectations, including those outside the binary, we should at least be able to conceptualize female humans without breast tissue, right? Disliking certain secondary sex characteristics may be a common flag for gender issues, but it doesn't automatically make you trans or nonbinary if that's not how you see yourself.)

 

Like you, I opted out of nipple grafting. My nipples never did anything for me except embarrass me in cold weather, and I'm quite excited to face the upcoming winter without them, lol. The recovery process was much easier than I expected: I was fine shuffling around the house hours after leaving the hospital, I didn't need to take pain medication at all, and my upper-body flexibility and strength have been steadily returning. I love looking at my profile in the mirror; I love the sleek new fit of all my old shirts. I've even started to embrace lower necklines, which I always avoided in the past despite not having any real cleavage to show. If any of this is what you're hoping for from surgery, I can attest that it's wonderful, empowering, and liberating. (And, at least in my case, still entirely unconnected to gender or even sexuality.)

 

Your GoFundMe link doesn't seem to be working anymore, but if you still have a campaign going I'd love to help out however I can! And if you've already had the procedure, I hope you're equally satisfied with your results. 😊

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm also a cis female that wants a completely flat chest, I can relate with transgender people's (FTM) dysphoria really well. Even before I even hit puberty I always told everyone that once I got my breasts I would get surgery to remove them.
I wouldn't consider myself a tomboy or a girly girl, just a normal in between girl, and I've never thought that breasts are ugly, in fact they look really good and I've tried for so many years to change my mind and to like my own chest! No I don't think my chest is ugly but I just feel very uncomfortable with my chest, it feels like it shouldn't be there, it doesn't belong to my body. And I don't even have big breasts, probably an A-B cup (I don't know exactly because I've never owned a bra, just sport bras, children tops or just a simple top.)
I always wear baggy clothes to hide my chest, even in the summer. If not I'm flattening it down as much as possible with a top underneath my shirt, which leaves my chest pretty numb free. I hate to wear swimwear, but when I do I use a children's bikini top with a lot of flounce, and I'd prefer to wear a shirt on as well.
I don't want people to notice my chest at all, not because I don't want to be sexualized, I just simply don't want anyone to see it, I feel super anxious when looking at my chest or feeling it. I get very anxious when I'm taking showers.
My dysphoria has bothered me daily for 6 years (ever since I first got them) I'm almost 17 now and it just keep getting worse.
Here is the first time I've ever came across other cis girls who actually wants a completely flat chest and that makes me feel less alone. I just hope I'll have the money and not be scared of getting surgery in the future, because I really can't stand this much longer..

 

Edit: I've never ever been sexualized in any way and never experienced anything sexual. And I'm not a lesbian, possibly asexual and possibly straight (romantically).

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 9/9/2019 at 9:30 AM, ClaudiaVampire said:

Hi ShyKid,

As a fellow cis woman under 25 who had this surgery exactly one month ago, I'd like to share my perspective!

 

I respectfully disagree with the previous poster, about the desire for a total breast removal necessarily signifying something about gender. I've never felt anything approaching dysphoria in my life. Granted, I don't feel a strong connection to femininity and don't mind being accidentally misgendered in online interactions (it would never happen in person), but the idea of taking testosterone or pursuing any other form of medical transition, even with more androgynous results in mind, is pretty ghastly for me. Conclusion: cis by default, as many people are. So yes, it's entirely possible to be a girl who just doesn't want breasts! Mine weren't even large, and I'd never been sexualized for them; I just saw them as pointless and in the way and knew I'd be happier with a flat chest. And I absolutely am!

 

(Besides, if we're at all serious about divorcing anatomy from gender expectations, including those outside the binary, we should at least be able to conceptualize female humans without breast tissue, right? Disliking certain secondary sex characteristics may be a common flag for gender issues, but it doesn't automatically make you trans or nonbinary if that's not how you see yourself.)

 

Like you, I opted out of nipple grafting. My nipples never did anything for me except embarrass me in cold weather, and I'm quite excited to face the upcoming winter without them, lol. The recovery process was much easier than I expected: I was fine shuffling around the house hours after leaving the hospital, I didn't need to take pain medication at all, and my upper-body flexibility and strength have been steadily returning. I love looking at my profile in the mirror; I love the sleek new fit of all my old shirts. I've even started to embrace lower necklines, which I always avoided in the past despite not having any real cleavage to show. If any of this is what you're hoping for from surgery, I can attest that it's wonderful, empowering, and liberating. (And, at least in my case, still entirely unconnected to gender or even sexuality.)

 

Your GoFundMe link doesn't seem to be working anymore, but if you still have a campaign going I'd love to help out however I can! And if you've already had the procedure, I hope you're equally satisfied with your results. 😊

Hey, just passing by when I saw this hh
Would you mind telling about how you were allowed to get the surgery done? Like who you had to talk to, which criteria you had to fulfill, how long it took til you could get the surgery done, etc? I'm facing similar thoughts as OP and I've been wanting a double mastectomie for the last couple of years, though I'm very afraid that they won't allow me to get the surgery done because I'm not trans. 

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  • 1 year later...

Hey everyone, I know it's been a long while since this thread started but I just wanted to add on cause some of these stories really fit with mine.

 

I'm a minor and I'm biromantic and asexual (don't want sex but I wanna date people and things like that). Recently though, I've been getting more and more irritated at my breasts and sometimes I just wish I could chop them off myself. I don't even have a big chest, and am probably a B cup at most, but I just want them gone. I upgraded to sports bras a while back and I thought that they'd be great for flattening my chest (as an alternative to using a binder), but the ones I got were padded and I don't know but they made them feel bigger? Under shirts though they're fine, but mostly because I tend to wear loose clothes. 

 

And now I've started questioning my gender identity, because sometimes I feel very feminine and want to dress in tighter clothes that make me look good, but other times I just want to cover myself up and hide under sweatshirts. Hopefully once I become independent, I can invest in some binders while I decide whether I truly want to get top surgery.

 

I know my post hasn't really contributed to the discussion, but it's the first time that I've let out what I'm feeling

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I'm also a cis woman (and a queer ace lesbian) who wants top surgery. I'm in my early 30s, so I've had lots of years with my post-puberty chest, and at best I've always just kind of tolerated it. I was a tomboy growing up, and as a teenager I started disliking my chest as soon as it was bigger than like an A cup. I haven't done much binding, and the binding I've done hasn't been very satisfying aesthetically. My chest gets in the way of the kinds of exercise I do, I don't like the way it looks in the kinds of clothes I like to wear, and it doesn't serve a purpose for my life in terms of pleasure or intent to breastfeed. It's not so big as to pose medical problems like back/neck pain or rashes, but it's still in the D-cup range, and I just... don't... like it.

 

I've spent a LOT of time thinking about my gender, and I feel really comfortable in my gender identity; for me, the category of "woman" holds enough space for the kind of woman that I am. Even though I relate to some aspects of the identity labels non-binary & genderqueer, I just don't feel strongly drawn to them for myself. I don't experience gender dysphoria, but I DO experience gender euphoria when my gender expression is a mix of feminine and masculine, sort of a tomboy femme look. I've wistfully wished I had a flat (or even flatter) chest for almost 2 decades now, so it really might be time, and it's encouraging to see that I'm not the only cis woman with this desire! 

I had been googling things like "can cis women get top surgery" and this thread popped up; it hadn't even occurred to me to look to my ace community for similar feelings and experiences! Thanks, internet. ;)

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i-am-so-confused

I am cis (I think) and want to bind. I always feel guilty thinking about it, thinking trans men wouldn't be cool with it. Every trans person seems fine with it, but it seems I am the only one stopping me. I also am stopped by my parents and not knowing how to get one. Somedays I wake up and I just want to bind so bad. Like so bad. I'm confused about my gender, and I think binding might help me figure this out. It's cool I think but honestly everything is just confusing. 

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  • 1 month later...
sparklemaia

@i-am-so-confused Hey there. Just affirming that ANYONE regardless of gender is allowed to bind, and exploring your gender expression and the way you look is totally normal and valid! Binding is for anyone who wants to try it! Don't let your own self-doubt about whether you "deserve" it be a barrier. You might be dealing with other barriers (unsupportive family, lack of money, etc.), but most barriers are not insurmountable. If you search "free chest binders" on google, there are SEVERAL organizations that might be good options for you, many of which offer gently used binders. Even if an org says you have to be trans or not cis to access their services, being in a place of questioning your gender is good enough to qualify you, in my opinion. You can always donate the binder back to the program if it turns out not to be something that you like! Good luck ❤️

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MyFriendsCallMeRed

Hello you wonderful, validating people. I’m so glad I’ve found you on this corner of the internet! 
Like many posts here, I identify as a cis female (also a lesbian (ace questioning), but I don’t think that’s entirely relevant seeing as that’s a sexual orientation and this is in regards to gender identity and expression). I’ve recently been exploring the idea of top surgery. I tend to dress more tomboy/masc if anything, but I wore a dress to prom and loved it, so do with that what you will. Really, I want to get top surgery to create a better canvas for a dope chest tattoo (like guys can). My boobs are on the smaller end A/B cup but they don’t do anything for me in terms of pleasure or function (the best they do is serve as the only consistent warning that my period is coming up by hurting like hell). I haven’t heard of anyone wanting a flat chest purely for tattoo cosmetics, but I agree with some sentiment here that wanting top surgery feels, at least deep down, that I’m treading on FTM territory. This surgery is only something I’ve been considering recently, but I don’t think I’m trans or non-binary, but I do think it would be— to use a term I saw above— “gender euphoric” to get top surgery. I think I covered all the bases. Sorry for rambling. Thanks for talking about these things so openly!
 

TL;DR: cis female (lesbian/ace questioning) wanting top surgery not as gender reaffirming surgery but “gender euphoric” surgery, mostly to create a good canvas for a tattoo chest piece. 

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banana monkey

I am a female who thinks I would like a flat chest (and I'm pretty flat already). Its this that causes me to question if im NB from time to time but pretty much came to the conclusion, that its more to do with expression than identity. The only things that put me off having a flatter chest is knowing someone who had a mastecomy for medical reasons and finding out what a big operation it is and how things are limited post op with recovery and such. That totally put me off for a while. SImilarly, I wont bind because its not good for your health and my medical conditions give me sensory issues with pressure/tighter clothing so I probably would not stand the uncomfortable feeling. That said, last week I found a name I may want to try out instead of my given name, so I'm questioning things again. 

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  • 2 months later...
sparklemaia

Yoooo circling back around to this forum topic, it's been a few months! An update: I got my clinical letter for top surgery! 

 

The long version: I live in a state in the US where gender affirming health care (including top surgery) is protected AND fully covered by medicaid, which is amazing. After lots of research and reflection, I decided I do exist somewhere in a "genderfluid" space, because gender is a vast universe and I don't think I really camp out on Planet Cis Woman 100% of the time, as a sort of tomboy femme queer ace lesbian. I'm still most comfortable with she/her pronouns, and am not interested in other medical interventions like hormone therapy... I just want to not have these big blobs on my chest! So I checked myself into the Gender Pathways clinic (so cool that that exists, eternal gratitude to the trans trailblazers who came before me) and after an hour or so of talking about my Gender Feelings over the phone, the smart and wonderful social worker assigned to me wrote me my letter. Due to work schedule constraints, it's going to be about a year before I can book the actual surgery, but I'm pretty pumped. It's gonna be a hard wait. 

 

Also, for anyone who is interested, this (free! or by donation!) mini comic by one of my fave comics creators really resonated with me, about her experience with gender and top surgery: https://gumroad.com/l/tJzTV

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