LoisLane Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Hi everybody! how are you all doing? My name's Elo, and as stated in the title, I'm from France. Even if I travel a lot and I'm not interest to settle home, I'm currently on stand-by in my home country after a year traveling in New Zealand. I'm heading to Scotland in March with a friend of mine and the plan is to go back to Canada at the end of the year and settle here a little bit (I spent a year there already Anyway, just to say that I move a lot, and to be frank, it cause me some "troubles" with forming and keeping lasting friendships. Since I left uni (it's been a few years already) I haven't had a group of friend to regularly talk to and even less occasion to form other romantic relationships. I'm an introvert, and while when I travel I love meeting new people and do stuff with them, I like my own company and can spent a long amount of time by myself, it's all good, until I do occasionnally crave some company -especially the longer-time type of connexion- and I guess my social skills are a bit rusty. And with never having any kind of love/romance relationship so far, I'm not lonely until I guess I am. I guess I should note that I'm 28, and I guess (lot of guessing I know!) I just hit that time when I want companionship, ideally on the long term to share life experience with them and this is actually quite recent, hence why I never really thought about my sexual orientation before. Ok, that might not be entirely true, I'd say everyone wonder every once in a while but I was fine by myself and had no desire of intimacy before that. I just wasn't really interested by sex. Now I have a mild curiosity, more as how does that even work? as opposed to before I guess I was probably just not confortable with the idea of doing it myself. I also have to (or want to) add that I also medically can't have sex with a man (at least the penetration part, sorry for the details, I'm just trying to be as clear as I can. I know there are other things you can do but that's the base for many). It's not something I often talk about but I think it probably played a part my sexuality (or lack of it). Setting that technicality aside, reading the many definitions, I think I'd place myself as a romantic asexual. (Hetero or bi. The rare cases of sexual attraction moments I experienced happened with guys but I guess I mostly crush on girls, that's weird). I might be demi-asexual but never had the opportunity to test that theory. I do want to share my life with someone, I just don't want to bring sex into the mix, it's just so difficult in our society to find like-minded people and that's how I found AVEN. (Yeah \o/ You guys are the first to show up on google and I'm happy to have find my way here) I'm aware it's not a dating platform, I don't want what I've written to come across like it is, I just never have the opportunity to talk about asexuality openly with anyone. I guess regarding my parents and family, "I'm lucky" to avoid the usual "pressure" because of my medical problems, I guess they know sex (the heteronormative kind they know) is out of the question for me so they just don't bother and I'm quite relieved. My best friend knows about my asexuality but I guess we never really talk about it, she just takes it for granted and I like that. and what I like when I travel as a solo-girl is that my fellow travelers I met just don't have that question in mind to assault you with it (compared to everyday life people that love to know your intimate life for some reason). I just avoided for years to "label" myself but now I feel the need to do it a bit more and actually discovering the ace world is reassuring. It just felt I was so alone in this sexless life, the whole western world culture is so overwhelming and heavy on sex, it's difficult to find anything else. But I'm an heavy reader and long-time fiction lover (especially tv-shows) and I slowly see the changes in visibility and it feels like something worth fighting for! Online discussions on every subject related to the LGBTA+ community I read is probably what ended up questionning myself. I find it fascinating how fiction reflects real like issues and raises questions and incites debates and I probably would not have been here typing this without it. I don't feel exactly the need to come out as others might feel the need, I'm quite a private person (even as you noticed, I like to talk a lot), but it doesn't mean I have to opinion or feeling about it. And I'm interested in talking about it and learn about other people experiences and points of view. Also, I also feel (hopefully I'm wrong) people would just tell me I'm not really asexual because of the fact that I technically cannot have sex, which it's not the same thing as not wanting it. Thinking about it, it has been probably one of the reason why my sexuality evolved that way. Maybe it would not have been the case if everything worked as it should be but who knows!? That didn't happen and I am that person. Not that what if hypotethical me that does not exist. I'm asexual. No matter the reasons. Also, I do adhere to the school of gender/sexual fluidity. I know in the queer community I feel asexuality is often denied and it pisses me off. Anyhow, if you ended up reading until this paragraphy, congrats! I put what I thought could be interesting to know as info on me, but really all you need to know about me is that I'm a Potterhead. Proud Gryffindor! (Even if technically I would have attended Beauxbatons instead). You'll always find me with a book in my hands or listening to podcasts. Somewhere in the world. That's all that really matters, really Ok I will stop here, I probably said too much anyway but I'm quite excited to join you all! I have much reading to do on Haven and hopefully I'll learn exciting new things and meet good people Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
lazypanda Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Salut !!! Comment allez-vous ?Bienvenue à aven !!!! Have some gateau !!! 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰 Sorry,just practising my really rusty and terrible french....hope it wasnt too bad !! 😛😛 So, welcome to aven.You seem like a wonderful and interesting person(yea,i love potterheads). Its great to have u here and hope u have a great time too. Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted January 26, 2018 Author Share Posted January 26, 2018 Merci pour l'accueil en très bon français miam miam! Du gateau! glad to be here and I hope I'm using this reply correctly, I haven't been on a forum forever (here's the grandma part of me talking), I need to find my way around thanks and see you around probably! I have lots of reading to do, so many interesting subjects to catch up! Link to post Share on other sites
lazypanda Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 5 minutes ago, LoisLane said: I have lots of reading to do, so many interesting subjects to catch up! We have a great forum and wonderful people who are always willing to offer advise and support. Feel free to ask anything !!! Have a good time...and see u around !!! ☺☺☺ Link to post Share on other sites
skyedive Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Welcome to Aven! I'm a proud Slytherin, and I envy you for your travels. I spent a year in Scotland and half a year in New Zealand (many years ago), and I would love to see more of the world, but I'm not the type to travel on my own, and like you, I'm missing that special connection in my life. Anyway, I hope you enjoy Aven Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Bienvenue sur AVEN! On a des points communs, moi aussi j'adore les voyages et les livres, et j'ai tendance à remettre tout en question, pas seulement mon identité sexuelle ... Ton nom d'utilisateur est trop cool, d'ailleurs Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted January 26, 2018 Author Share Posted January 26, 2018 4 minutes ago, skyedive said: I'm a proud Slytherin, and I envy you for your travels. I spent a year in Scotland and half a year in New Zealand (many years ago), and I would love to see more of the world, but I'm not the type to travel on my own, and like you, I'm missing that special connection in my life. That's so cool you stayed a year in Scotland! I'm only going for a month with my friend and I'd love to stay longer and find a job, especially enjoying it while it's still in the EU, but I don't know if I'll be able because I have to deal with some personal stuff before I head up to Canada at the end of the year but we'll see! What did you do there for a year? You went to Howarts, didn't you! Eheh thanks for the kind welcoming words! 10 minutes ago, kiaroskuro said: Bienvenue sur AVEN! On a des points communs, moi aussi j'adore les voyages et les livres, et j'ai tendance à remettre tout en question, pas seulement mon identité sexuelle ... Ton nom d'utilisateur est trop cool, d'ailleurs Merci!! Tout ces gateaux me donnent envie d'aller grignoter quelque chose ça fait plaisir de voir un peu de français et fans de lecture en plus! Ahh Lois est la meilleure! Je n'ai aucun mérite de ce coté, juste prétendre être elle en ligne eheh Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Pourquoi tout le monte ici est un Gryffindor? Bienvenue d'Angleterre! Avoir in gâteau de bienvenue d'un Ravenclaw. Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted January 26, 2018 Author Share Posted January 26, 2018 Ah merci cher Ravenclaw! C'est marrant que tu dises ça, en général, c'est rare que les gens que je rencontre soient Gryffindor Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewT Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Hello and welcome. Depending where you go in Scotland you may want to take a trip across the border and Visit Alnwick Castle (if you're a harry potter fan) Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted January 26, 2018 Author Share Posted January 26, 2018 9 minutes ago, Andrew001 said: Hello and welcome. Depending where you go in Scotland you may want to take a trip across the border and Visit Alnwick Castle (if you're a harry potter fan) Hi! Thanks! oh yeah, I checked it out! I might have to make a detour! For some reason, my friend doesn't want to to England (I wanted to come back from Scotland via England) but I might go on solo indeed! Thanks for the tip! Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewT Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Not all us English are horrible people Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted January 27, 2018 Author Share Posted January 27, 2018 10 minutes ago, Andrew001 said: Not all us English are horrible people Eheh I know! I tried to convinced her (cause I love you guys!) but for some reason she has a warped view of you as a people... Go figure. I'll make her see the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
skyedive Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 10 hours ago, LoisLane said: That's so cool you stayed a year in Scotland! I'm only going for a month with my friend and I'd love to stay longer and find a job, especially enjoying it while it's still in the EU, but I don't know if I'll be able because I have to deal with some personal stuff before I head up to Canada at the end of the year but we'll see! What did you do there for a year? You went to Howarts, didn't you! Eheh thanks for the kind welcoming words! That's right, I went to Hogwarts for a year! Well, I studied there anyway. A month is a good start at least, I hope you enjoy it. And Canada, too, that's on my list of places I really want to go one day. 9 hours ago, LoisLane said: Hi! Thanks! oh yeah, I checked it out! I might have to make a detour! For some reason, my friend doesn't want to to England (I wanted to come back from Scotland via England) but I might go on solo indeed! Thanks for the tip! While Scotland is the nicer country, people don't just turn into monsters when you cross the border. England is nice, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Ortac Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Je suis content de voir ici encore une compatriote. Sois la bienvenue à Aven ! On 26/01/2018 at 10:56 PM, Lichley said: Pourquoi tout le monte ici est un Gryffindor? Moi je ne suis pas un Gryffondor. Je ne suis même ni Poufsouffle ni Serdaigle ni Serpentard. Je suis un moldu et j’en suis fier ! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 @skyedive not so sure about England. Depends where you go. I wouldn't recommend where I live, that's for sure. 8 hours ago, Ortac said: Je suis content de voir ici encore une compatriote. Sois la bienvenue à Aven ! Moi je ne suis pas un Gryffondor. Je ne suis même ni Poufsouffle ni Serdaigle ni Serpentard. Je suis un moldu et j’en suis fier C'est à propos de quelle maison vous seriez, si vous n'étiez pas un moldu... je pense... Link to post Share on other sites
skyedive Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 2 hours ago, Lichley said: @skyedive not so sure about England. Depends where you go. I wouldn't recommend where I live, that's for sure. Everywhere has good places and bad places, and everywhere has monsters. Some places more than others. There are plenty of nice places and nice people in England. Link to post Share on other sites
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