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I don't know if I am asexual or not?


I am AFABulous

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I am AFABulous

I'm 23 years old and have never had a crush or fallen in love before. I don't like dating, because I feel it is too much work. I have thought both guys and gals (and non binary people) were cute, and, I admit, I have watched porn (mainly lesbian porn) before, and was aroused by it. But, I would never want to have sex with anyone in real life. I just like watching other people have sex. I've been identifying as pansexual, but I don't know if that label is for me. I don't know if I should come out as asexual and/or aromantic, because I don't know if that label is for me. Maybe I'm asexual panromantic? But I would never want to date anyone, regardless of their gender. I'm so confused about my sexuality. Thanks in advance!💟

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It's up to you what you decide to label yourself, but from this post it seems like you have the potential to be both ace and aromantic. Aromantic because of your stance on dating being too much work. You have the potential to be demipanromantic though, in that you have the capacity to be romantically attracted to someone you've formed a super strong bond with regardless of gender.

Also you can be aroused as an asexual and even enjoy having sex as an asexual person. The requirement for being defined as ace is just being not sexually attracted to people. You can still find people cute and watch porn and be aroused as an ace, it's a matter of do you want to have sex with them. If the answer is no, you're probably somewhere on the gray-ace scale. 

In the end though only you can choose what you're feeling but I hope this helps!

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I am AFABulous
1 hour ago, Kylocks said:

It's up to you what you decide to label yourself, but from this post it seems like you have the potential to be both ace and aromantic. Aromantic because of your stance on dating being too much work. You have the potential to be demipanromantic though, in that you have the capacity to be romantically attracted to someone you've formed a super strong bond with regardless of gender.

Also you can be aroused as an asexual and even enjoy having sex as an asexual person. The requirement for being defined as ace is just being not sexually attracted to people. You can still find people cute and watch porn and be aroused as an ace, it's a matter of do you want to have sex with them. If the answer is no, you're probably somewhere on the gray-ace scale. 

In the end though only you can choose what you're feeling but I hope this helps!

Thank you for your reply! It really helped! Since you said ace people can watch porn and get aroused and stuff, I'm going to identify as ace/aro from now on, because I feel that sexuality is what describes me best. Thanks again for your reply! 💟

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