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Fluidity


rgs

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I’ve identified as a biromantic ace for many years. In some of the relationships I’ve had, I have engaged in sexual activities, but these were pretty much always motivated by a genuine desire to please my partner. I never really wanted anything for myself.

 

Until recently, that is. A friend of mine (who I’ve had a crush on for years) asked me if I would like to be cuddle buddies, and I enthusiastically agreed. We had a few cuddle sessions that were entirely platonic. She identifies as a highly sexual person, and she eventually asked if I would be interested in experimenting further. Long story short, we have started experimenting with kissing/outercourse (no actual sex yet), and I am finding that I really enjoy it with her. I actually want it, not just to please her. I get turned on by cuddling with her, and I’ve never been turned on by another person before.

 

She knows that I identify as asexual, and we have had a lot of long conversations about this. She is fully respectful of my boundaries, no issues there. I guess I’m just a little nervous/frightened by the whole thing though. In my 31 years of life I’ve never felt sexually attracted to anyone before, and it’s causing me to rethink my identity a bit. The last month has certainly been an interesting journey of self-discovery.

 

Just curious if anybody else has experienced this kind of fluidity in their sexuality. People have often reacted to me coming out with “You probably just haven’t met the right person yet!”, and I always rolled my eyes and thought they just don’t get it. But now I’m starting to wonder if they were right.

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Sex is a fluid thing (pun only a little bit intended :lol:). 

 

Humans like to label things for the sake of organization, but things like attraction really go beyond labels. It sounds like you have found a really good thing in your life, don't be afraid to explore it just to prove something to yourself or to other folks. =) 

 

It may turn out to be a temporary thing, maybe you'll do the deed and decide its awful - but maybe not. =) Maybe you'll decide sex is awesome, or maybe you'll decide that only sex with this person is awesome.

 

How ever it ends up, it's worth experimenting as far as you feel comfortable. 

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