knittinghistorian Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 I have a question to put to AVEN. I’m a college professor, and one of my students has an obviously feminine name, but dresses in a clearly masculine way. This student will be giving a presentation in class later in the semester, and I always introduce student presenters as Mr/Ms Whatever. So I was faced with having to ask the student as to preferred pronouns. I want to get it right; I’m asexual, and know how it feels to have people think I don’t exist! The student said I should use Mr or Ms, whichever I was more comfortable with. Which I appreciate! But I’m still not sure what to do... Advice? Is there a gender-neutral equivalent of Mr/Ms? (I may be overthinking this, but I want to get it right!) Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 The gender-neutral equivalent is Mx. But do whatever makes the student comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
knittinghistorian Posted January 19, 2018 Author Share Posted January 19, 2018 That’s why I asked them, but either they really are fine with either, or they weren’t comfortable telling me... Is Mx pronounced “Mix”? Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Hi! Would it be possible to just introduce the students by their first and last names, instead? That way, you'd avoid using gender pronouns that might be incorrect or uncomfortable for the students. At that age, I didn't like adults addressing me with terms like "Ma'am" or "Miss.," or "Ms.," even though I identified as female because I only grew up hearing older adults called those things and it felt odd or a little weird to be called them when other adults and society still considered me to be young. It felt like I was suddenly being called "old." It also felt a little uncomfortable to me because was a tomboy, and those gendered terms for women felt a little too stereotypical, old-fashioned, or formal to me. I preferred others calling me by my name, instead. I hope that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 11 minutes ago, knittinghistorian said: That’s why I asked them, but either they really are fine with either, or they weren’t comfortable telling me... Is Mx pronounced “Mix”? Gentleperson does fine, dearest does fine too. Link to post Share on other sites
Xenobot Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 9 minutes ago, Just Somebody said: Gentleperson does fine, dearest does fine too. Calling someone dearest can be considered sexual harrassment depending on the culture/environment you’re in. I quite like “gentlepersons” as an alternative to “ladies and gentlemen”. I’ve never heard gentleperson used as an alternative to something like miss or mister, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 "Seigniory" could do too I guess as alternative to "lady" and "gentlemen". Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 15 minutes ago, Just Somebody said: "Seigniory" could do too I guess as alternative to "lady" and "gentlemen". Anyway very nice attitude, I can only think of the professors I had making jokes out of it or totally ignoring. Link to post Share on other sites
chridd Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 If you're using Mx., it might be good to make sure that's okay with them? Mx. (and any other gender-neutral forms of Mr./Ms.) is uncommon, so it'll make their gender stand out (which they might or might not want) if not just confuse the class (or be misheard as Miss), and I'm not sure if it's ever used for binary people (as contrasted with they, which is sometimes used with people of unknown but possibly-binary gender; correct me if I'm wrong). Of course, if they do prefer/are okay with Mx., that's fine; I just suspect it's not a safe default. (For me, personally, I'd probably prefer a lack of title, but that's more just disliking formalities like that in general.) Link to post Share on other sites
Acing It Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 On 19/01/2018 at 12:17 AM, knittinghistorian said: I have a question to put to AVEN. I’m a college professor, and one of my students has an obviously feminine name, but dresses in a clearly masculine way. This student will be giving a presentation in class later in the semester, and I always introduce student presenters as Mr/Ms Whatever. So I was faced with having to ask the student as to preferred pronouns. I want to get it right; I’m asexual, and know how it feels to have people think I don’t exist! The student said I should use Mr or Ms, whichever I was more comfortable with. Which I appreciate! But I’m still not sure what to do... Advice? Is there a gender-neutral equivalent of Mr/Ms? (I may be overthinking this, but I want to get it right!) I think you are overthinking this. You asked the student and they gave you their answer... so it's up to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Nice to see a fellow professor on here, and even nicer to see your concern for being gender-affirming with your students. You definitely did the right thing directly asking, though I do agree that you may want to ask before using Mx., just in case. While most people find gender-neutral terminology inherently safe, Mx. is currently rare enough that some people might feel weird about being called by that title. When some people respond with "any" pronouns, sometimes that means they're comfortable with any pronouns, but it can also sometimes mean that they're not ready to fully assert a pronoun preference yet. Still, I think the gesture of asking how to refer to your student already communicates to them that you would be supportive if they ever needed to make changes in regards to pronouns or name or anything, which makes a big difference when transitioning within academia. Link to post Share on other sites
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