Does Anyone Else Grapple with Feeling "Broken"?

[lanier1]

Broken is a loaded term, so I wouldn't use that.  However, I would say 'challenged' - because I can't get too emotionally close to anyone who is in a sexual relationship with someone because our society puts emotional and sexual closeness on the same spectrum.  I don't... but the desire for emotional bonds without sexual bonds is unusual and... challenging.  We always have to accept a secondary relational status--'just friends'--and that is a difficult place to be.

[MiserableGuy]

Every moment, all the time

[Claire1983]

I'm kind of feeling the opposite.  I'm 34 and I thought I was straight.  I also thought I sucked at being straight because sex and intimacy were very difficult for me.  I have anxiety issues which I thought were causing it.  Now considering that I might be asexual some of these things make sense in a way that doesn't need to be fixed.  So I actually feel less broken than before.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

On 18.1.2018 at 6:32 AM, Asharee said:

Alright, so I am not unhappy with being asexual in the slightest. I love platonic everything, and am grateful for not having to look further than what I already have.

 

But, there are definitely some moments where I wish my brain was wired a little differently. This is only because sexuals seem to save verbal and emotional intimacy for romantic or sexual partners, while I openly share variations of those things with most people I meet. For me, intimacy or excitement comes from learning things about others that they don't confide in anyone else. I want a deep, meaningful and knowledgable connection with most people I meet. And I guess it's just annoying that it can be seen as weird coming from a friend rather than someone they're attracted to.

 

Not to mention, the idea of missing out on seeing a different kind of beauty, emotion, or feeling for/in someone can be frustrating. My inquisitive nature can't help but want to know that extra layer of life that I can't mentally or physically understand. It's like hearing that there's a whole spectrum of colours I've never seen that others can see, and that you're expected to see them.

 

Does anyone else feel the same? 😊

Not exactly but I usually get very close to what you're pointing at I guess. There are certainly a few thing I keep strictly reserve to my romantic or sexual partners but I also want to have a deep connection to the people I'm friends with.

[Asharee]

On 2018-03-09 at 4:04 AM, lanier1 said:

the desire for emotional bonds without sexual bonds is unusual and... challenging.  We always have to accept a secondary relational status--'just friends'--and that is a difficult place to be.

I couldn't agree more. Thank goodness we aren't alone in this struggle!

[Galactic Turtle]

I guess I've started to think about what my "role" is. Not as an aro ace specifically but as someone with a lifestyle that results from not having a desire to engage in sexual or romantic relations with others. I like to think of everyone I interact with as a village of people and I'd like to think that everyone has a role to play. In my life I am a daughter, sister, friend, and coworker so I put effort into being good at fulfilling these roles. It would be nice to have peers who have a similar lifestyle but outside of specific religious institutions that is unlikely. I also like to tell myself that I'm old enough to know what it is I want and don't want in addition to having the ability to recognize if those wants change. So basically... digging up some self confidence.