I am an anxiety riddled, sex repulsed, asexual and I don't want to die alone

[Kermend2413]

Let me begin by stating, I DO NOT  WANT TO DIE ALONE! I mean, most people don't. You know you've hit a new low when you WikiHow "How to get a boyfriend" and have a mini panic attack while reading the steps. I want somebody, hell, anybody to be, at the very least, my friend. There is only 1 Ace person in my community and we are, unfortunately, not compatible. I have no one to talk to about anything like this. I guess that's why I'm ranting anonymously online. Anyway, if anybody can relate, o can give ANY helpful advice, it would be gratefully appreciated. 

[lazypanda]

I understand !!! I'm totally in the same situation !!! 

I have  given up all hope of finding another asexual at this point. Its just really hard,considering theres only so less if us and no good way to identify each other . 

In fact,we were just ranting about this yesterday...lol

 

Aven should start a dating spin off site....like hook up corner or something 😛😛

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

I kinda relate but then again I love being single because I'm not into being hugged and I'll never want to be sexual either, I'm in my late 20s and never been in a physical relationship and never desired one. Now that I have thought of it, I might want someone but never to sleep with but rather to have a friend to live with, and it may happen sooner than I thought, a friend and I are planning on getting an apartment together, I've known her for 3 years or more and I love her very much. Maybe try finding a friend and seeing what she/ they or he say after all it's up to you how you wish to live your life, no one can choose a path for you. I have no idea if this helped in anyway but I wish you ther best of luck.

[Haze.]

I relate to this topic so much...

[Gatsogee]

Omg I can totally relate. Sometimes I'm so desperate that I think I should just block my feelings etc and just be In a 'normal' relationship just coz I don't wanna be that 'one lonely cat lady'. It's just that I'm really happy when I'm alone coz I just don't enjoy being intimate in almost any way. I don't know any other ace irl and I'm totally giving up at this point although I'm only 20. 

[paperbackreader]

Sorry to break your bubble... but most people 'die alone' regardless of whether they are ace or not, single or married, etc. I would argue that the loneliness of a surviving widow is more acute than that experienced by someone that is used to being on their own...

 

That doesn't mean to say that I don't relate to the feelings you have - but I guess I feel that any relationship in general should be about enjoying the present with someone else in the hope of a long and lasting future - rather than to insure against loneliness on your death bed. In any case, happy to be a friend / talk although as you can see I can be quite blunt!!! ._. 

[Samby]

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On 16/01/2018 at 9:23 AM, lazypanda said:

I understand !!! I'm totally in the same situation !!! 

I have  given up all hope of finding another asexual at this point. Its just really hard,considering theres only so less if us and no good way to identify each other . 

In fact,we were just ranting about this yesterday...lol

 

Aven should start a dating spin off site....like hook up corner or something 😛😛

theres always ace-book if you want an ace dating site   I’ve personally not really had much luck on the dating front but it’s another place for aces to chat which is nice!

[Chimeric]

Is it possible that you're needlessly restricting yourself to people who subscribe to a certain label?

 

Don't get me wrong, it's really helpful knowing that the "asexuality" community exists. That said, I have found myself in an absolutely fulfilling relationship with a man who identifies as ace, even though I do not. If he had thought himself compatible with only folks who identify a certain way, we never would have happened.

 

There are people in the world who are less interested in your libido and more interested in your youness. Have you tried "looking" in places that aren't so focused on sexual orientation, and are more focused on common interests? 

[Allieg8tor]

I mean, I got a cat just this month, and she’s pretty great for company. I just worry it isn’t enough companionship. 

[Cat Lady Lisa]

First off, treat your anxiety. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy has helped me a lot, but there are many different treatments and support groups out there to help you keep on top of it. 

 

Secondly, don't focus on finding a partner so much as meeting new people and making friends. Take up some new hobbies - join a sports team, art class, choir, whatever takes your fancy. Be yourself, be friendly, and RELAX! Making friends takes time, but the more you get out of the house and meet people, the more your confidence will grow and in time friendships will develop. 

 

You are stronger than you think and, with a little patience and effort, you can do it! 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

What people don't grasp is that everyone dies alone. You're the only person taking the journey, no matter how many people are sitting around your bed as you go. As a nurse, I even saw families that couldn't stay because they were so upset, so the person died alone anyway. Most deaths take place slowly and in the end people aren't aware of their surroundings for many days beforehand, so even if there were people around, you wouldn't know.

 

Just enjoy the life you have now, make every day count, make lifelong friends, keep your family close, make great memories, and cross the bridge of death only when it's your time to do so!

[nimbus]

When I read about "dying alone" in this thread, I didn't think people were referring to the actual moment of death and having nobody beside their bed. My impression was that they were referring to fear about living life to the very end and still never having found a partner with whom to form a deep relationship. In other words, people want to feel the experience of love at some point in their lives before dying. The fear is that being asexual limits your compatibility and dating options so extensively that it seems like you might never, ever find a partner at all.