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Telecaster68

List different kinds of sex (All the TMI, hopefully...)

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Telecaster68

Often posts by asexuals seem to assume that sex is always this, or always that, and if a sexual person says 'it's not always this', it means it must always be *that*.

 

There's as many types of sex as there are conversations, or any other human interaction. For the edification of all, let's build up a list.

 

To start:

 

  • domestic sex - between well established, probably cohabiting partners. They know what each other likes, not wild or obviously intense, almost routine, with a regular slot in the schedule maybe a couple of times a week, and dozy cuddles afterwards. Quite a lot about the reassurance and maintenance of the relationship, but physically very lovely for all that
  • missed you sex - urgent and joyful, after a while away from each other, quite possibly not making it to the bed. It might start a little shy, flirty, getting back into the groove, and build up to intensely emotional, mixed with sating a deep hunger. Afterwards, a blissed out feeling of 'I hadn't realised how much I *really* need it'.
  • refuge sex - when the rest of your life is stressed and running out of control, with intense emotional situations, and you take refuge in the safety and couple 'bubble' of sex, just for a while, with an intense bonding, and relaxation afterwards. Affair sex can be like this.
  • make up sex - after a row, a bit like domestic sex, but maybe wilder and more passionate. It's re-affirming commitment after the argument.
  • first time sex - probably anxious, joyful and intense all at the same time, because it's the first time the partners will have been that intimate and vulnerable to each other, and while it's opening the floodgates on that desire for the first time, it's still scary. Hopefully, a lot of laughing and the sense of something wonderful starting, too.

 

as distinct from...

 

  • one night stand sex - horny, fun, spontaneous. Might be wild and carefree, or might be tense in the same way that first-time sex can be. But generally, sex for sex's sake, with someone who's up for it and at least acceptable; or just one of those spontaneous surprise connections. Afterwards, feeling 'that was fun', 'maybe that was a bit of a mistake', or 'maybe this is the start of something amazing'.

 

There must be tons of others. Suggestions?

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Jade Cross

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Telecaster68
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Part of the reason why aces say sex is this or that is mainly due to what we're used to hearing.

Really? One of the repeated comments on AVEN is about how everyone talks about how wonderful sex is all the time, and aces not understanding why or how.

 

17 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

you usually tend to hear "I cant believe I did that" or "He/She is such a (insert trade here) , I never want to see him/her again" rather than a "last nights shag was amazing" or "I want to go do it again".

Sex being good is pretty much taken as a given for most people. It's only the unusually bad that people talk about, especially since it's such a personal thing.

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ThaHoward

Groupie/orgies. Swinging.

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Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

People speak of the ideal sex but how many times do you come across something like "last night was amazing". Whatsmore, how recurrent is it that people complain or say the lack of sex or not that great sex is the order of the day, especially between ace/sexual partners?

 

 

Want to write a 'shit sex' entry then?

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Telecaster68
3 minutes ago, God. said:

Groupie/orgies. Swinging.

Description needed...

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Telecaster68

In what way?

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NoLongerActive1234

There's the 'Mile High Club' thing or generally just purposely having sex at public places. 

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Telecaster68
1 minute ago, MistySpring said:

There's the 'Mile High Club' thing or generally just purposely having sex at public places. 

What would you say is going on with the participants there? What do they get out of it?

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Jade Cross

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NoLongerActive1234
Just now, Telecaster68 said:

What would you say is going on with the participants there? What do they get out of it?

It could probably be a random spur of the moment thing as part of looking to get an extra kick, like an adrenalin rush or if it is something planned as part of wanting to fulfill a kink or roleplay I suppose. Doing something daring, sharing the excitment of the possibility of being found out doing something 'forbidden'.

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Telecaster68
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Plus if the absence of sex was as maddening as many claim, I would be posting thread after thread desperate to find it. 

It's clearly not for you. Other people are different.

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Telecaster68
3 minutes ago, MistySpring said:

It could probably be a random spur of the moment thing as part of looking to get an extra kick, like an adrenalin rush or if it is something planned as part of wanting to fulfill a kink or roleplay I suppose. Doing something daring, sharing the excitment of the possibility of being found out doing something 'forbidden'.

Which could be a fun, shared, bonding experience for the couple.

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NoLongerActive1234
5 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Which could be a fun, shared, bonding experience for the couple.

If it is a couple then yes surely, why else do it if they weren't out for a good experience. 

 

Edit-I got to not assume too much of the imagined people involved, they could after all be strangers lol. :o

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NoLongerActive1234
3 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Thays my point. If sex was all great, all the time, there wouldnt be people unhappy over it, whether it was because its lacking or because it doesnt go as amazingly as its potrayed.

 

Its the pedestal and not the reality which people want to see.

I think most sexual individuals realize from their own experiences that it can be amazing sometimes, meh or neutral at times or even not great depending on well...tons of stuff. 

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Telecaster68
13 minutes ago, MistySpring said:

If it is a couple then yes surely, why else do it if they weren't out for a good experience. 

 

Edit-I got to not assume too much of the imagined people involved, they could after all be strangers lol. :o

I really don't think this is anywhere near as likely as some asexuals think.

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Telecaster68
10 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Thays my point. If sex was all great, all the time, there wouldnt be people unhappy over it, whether it was because its lacking or because it doesnt go as amazingly as its potrayed.

 

Its the pedestal and not the reality which people want to see.

I agree that if all you have to go on is popular culture and gossip, you'll probably get a distorted view of the reality, either good or bad.

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NoLongerActive1234
6 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

I really don't think this is anywhere near as likely as some asexuals think.

You mean like that you think asexuals are likelier to think that sexuals would seek it out to have a bad experience or?

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Telecaster68
21 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Which is unfortunately what tends to happen in many cases. If sex were potrayed differently and much more grounded in reality over fiction, perhaps there wouldnt be so much trouble with it.

Hence this thread. Every little helps.

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Telecaster68
19 minutes ago, MistySpring said:

You mean like that you think asexuals are likelier to think that sexuals would seek it out to have a bad experience or?

No, that people have sex with randoms on the spur of the moment.

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lazypanda

 

2 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

Often posts by asexuals seem to assume that sex is always this, or always that, and if a sexual person says 'it's not always this', it means it must always be *that*.

 

We only say that because we don't know any better ! 

It's like a born blind person trying understand what a color looks like . We've only got whatever our sexual friends told us to go on with. So whatever we know about sex is the biased,poorly explained,possibly exaggerated picture our friend paints !!! 

Come on...you have to excuse us ok !!!

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Guest

consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole person of procreation 

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Telecaster68
4 minutes ago, lazypanda said:

 

 

We only say that because we don't know any better ! 

It's like a born blind person trying understand what a color looks like . We've only got whatever our sexual friends told us to go on with. So whatever we know about sex is the biased,poorly explained,possibly exaggerated picture our friend paints !!! 

Come on...you have to excuse us ok !!!

Oh I agree - hence this thread.

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Telecaster68
2 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

its not as likely as many aces think but it definitely sounds highly likely when you're used to hearing it.

Confirmation bias at work. Most conversation isn't about that.

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Confused.Kitten

This ones are based in my relationship with a sexual dude (I'm demi):

 

the spontaneous flirty sex: It all starts with some playful flirt, you joking around with your partner about "doing it" here or there. But then , things start to get real, you start to feel sassy x) Initiative is taken out of nowhere , without thinking twice. And yeah. This usually ends with a quicky in a unconventional place , like car or in the middle of the woods. Depends on the context , you can end up just giving pleasure to each other without fully go into the act

 

surprise sex: I have this low profile when it comes to sex, I usually dont take much initiative so when I do things are just WOW. It's simple and yet spontaneous. Starts with simple gestures like touching him , kissing him and tell him how much you want him , out of nowhere. It usually happens when you are in a confy situation and It's great to relieve your partners tension or just to cheer him up. Note: this is more passionate than spontaneous sex. It comes from the heart <3

 

I found funny how I could relate with most of those types xD Even thought I dont quite like the "sex" term... if there's love , you are making love x)

 

 

 

 

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