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Charlieee

Pretend Flirting?

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Charlieee

Okay, so there's this girl that I really like. First off, let me say that she's sexual and straight. The chances of us ever having something together, besides the fact that we're best friends now, is next to nothing.

I told her that, we talked about it, and of course she's fine with it. Sometimes she teases it for me. And for a while, I had an oh-so-classic case of Teenage Broken Heart Syndrome, and I'd be completely over her, except for the fact that...

...it seriously feels like she's flirting with me all of the time. Now, I'm not exactly the relationship expert here, but when she's doing these things, like putting her hand on my shoulder or arm when she talks to me, or puts her head really close to mine, or sitting really close to me, but not doing any of these things to our other best friends, it feels a lot like flirting...

So what do you think? Is she confused about how she feels? Is she playing off the fact that I (used to) like her? Or am I just reading waaay too much into this? :lol:

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rimona_da_vidya

Hmmm.

Well, I am definitely one of those people who tends to read far too much into things. I joke around flirting with a couple of my female friends, although we know that none of us would ever end up dating one another. The physical flirting goes in phases, and totally depends on how close we are to one another at the time and how comfortable we are with physical flirting, especially in front of large groups of people (we tend to go to parties together).

Personally, I've never taken "flirting" with friends as a sign that we liked one another in anything aside from a platonic way. However, this backfires with the male friends, sometimes, because they can/have in the past read too much into the flirting.

So, long story short, she may be joking around with "flirting" now because she is comfortable with the fact that you, at one point, REALLY liked her. That fact could have just worked itself into a comfortable place within the friendship, and does not necessarily mean that she's reciprocating any specific non-platonic feelings. I could be wrong on that one, but hey-- at least she is, at the very least, comfortable with your crush on her. :)

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helana12_03

As far as I know, when you like someone, everything that person does, seems like flirting because you hope that person wants you too... so every friendly thing she does might seem like flirting to you. However, maybe she has feelings for you but she chooses not to be with you because she wants a sexual relationship. And then again maybe she's just fooling around.

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Desert_Rose

Girls tend to be more free with physical contact then guys. This is because sexual attraction works differently for girls then it does for guys, and also because of societies steriotypes of how guys and girls ought to behave.

Guys dont tend to general give hugs to friends as much, partly because what with raging hormones it can be awkward for them, and also partly because they may not want to give people who are watching the wrong impression.

Girls on the other hand, give out hugs lots, and when girls are close to each other they tend to be very physical, as in leaning on shoulders, arms around each other, girls like to tend to walk together with their arms linked, ect.

This dosnt nesisarily mean that shes flirting, this may just be a normal way for her to express her friendship.

If it bothers you that much, you should probably ask her herself, and let her know that if she dosnt mean anything by it, you would prefer her to stop.

And who knows, she may actually BE flirting, and then you can find out!

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Charlieee

Thanks everyone.

Yeah, I thought I was reading too far into it... I just wanted to get your opinion :D

Actually, it just came up in conversation a week ago or so that I was asexual. It took her a bit longer to understand what it meant, but yaay! *shrug*

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